by tenyearsafter 33 Replies latest jw friends
If you love your Mama I think it's a good idea to do this small thing to make her happy.
Even though I know it is not a small thing, for me it would be agonizing to do.
However, if you do not have a good relationship with your Mom, I would not do it.
If your Mom was abusive or negligent, I see no reason to bend over backwords to make her happy.
Am in similar situation with wife. Wife has again requested that I accompany her to meeting tonight as I did Sunday. Do not wish to create more tension with wife but do not wish to be exposed to cult influence. I told her I would go with her to meetings in the past, despite my disagreements with the doctrine and methods. The mistreatment I experienced at the hands of the judicials and my [former] family caused me to reconsider.
That being said, a guy like me giving advice would be like...pretty illogical. Unfortunately, there are moments in life where you have a choice: bite the bullet and play politics for the sake of pleasing someone, or stand your ground and don't allow your boundaries to be violated. It'd be great if people respected the boundaries of others; the world would be an awesome place. But...here we are.
Go with your feelings on the matter. Make sure that your choice won't leave you with a bunch of regret. If it's more important to be with your aging relatives, do it for their sake. If it's more important that this is a frakking cult and you want no parts of it whatsoever, go with that and arrange to spend time with your relatives in a more neutral setting, sort of like blondie recommended.
I personally would not go. I understand the issues of trying to maintain contact and do not lambast anyone for what they choose. I personally though could not go along and show support for this cult. I may consider bending there if my wife were to bend and accompany me to church, or read Crisis of Conscience. If not, why should my acquiescence be one-sided?
I would go if it was that important to her, but then again this is going to be my first NO GO!!!
Last year my mother, who was in her 80's, was very upset that I wasn't going to the memorial. We never really spoke about it but her hurt was palpable.
She died very suddenly the week before the memorial.
In retrospect I wish I had agreed to go with her. An hour out of my life would have been no loss - but the gift I would have given her would have been worth every minute.
I can't lessen the pain I gave her ...I wish I could.
You still have your mum. For the sake of making her happy and easing her heart pain - I'd say go. She is worth it and so is your relationship with her. treasure it while you have her.
HOTB
I'd go if it didn't involve having to see all those "oh we miss you sooo much" types - but I guess you'll just be ignored anyway. Having spent thousands of hours at meetings going to the memorial seems such a small thing to do. It might just be a timely reminder of why you escaped as long as you're not going to get nightmares over it. Good to do nice things for the elderly - clearly she's a decent woman.
MMXIV
Don't base your decision on selfishness.
Would a JW come to your birthday party if they weren't going to partake of the cake and ice cream?
If you're not going to partake of the emblems, what's the point of going?
If you're not going to partake of the emblems, what's the point of going?
Out of love? Is that really the last thing people think about?
As someone who knows you, your mother and your wife, I would say go.
Cheers,
F.
