Why did my old friend do this to our friendship? Please help me understand.

by mlj 34 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  mlj

  Hi All,

  Thanks for the responses. I am beginning to get a complex, no one has called me back. So I think I am going to see if I can find his older sister's phone number or maybe the number where she works. Maybe she will call me. No matter what, I will be there for my best friend. Even if I didn't hear from him for 10 yrs., if he contacted me after that length of time, I am sure he would need my friendship more than ever. I am not mad at him, I understand shunning after doing some reading, so I don't blame him, but it makes me sick that it is done under the guise of religion. But my heart is still hurting, nonetheless. Hope it is ok if I hang out here sometimes. Best regards to all. mlj
• 

  yknot

  .... maybe get his addy....

  Send him 'update' letters and notes.....regularly so when he changes his mind he can get in contact.

  Just because he is shunning you doesn't mean you have to accept it .......
• 

  Black Sheep

  Come back and have a rant any time you like.

  As no one has got back to you, I would be suspicious that his family may have history with the cult.

  It is not uncommon for children who have left a cult, to be still under the influence of the teachings and only needing a trigger event to hop back into the cult or do something really stupid due to the guilt they carry from being inactive or sinning.

  Cheers

  Chris
• 

  dgp

  Marked.
• 

  dgp

  If he's physically away from you, I am sorry to say that you can do next to nothing for him. He won't hear you and won't see you. I know because it happened to me with a witness.

  All you can realistically do is read a lot about the Watchtower, so they will never ever get you, or any of your relatives or other friends. Also, you have to understand that he's been deluded, and that it's his cultic self that's acting; don't blame him. Be there for him if he should need you, as you said you would. The real him does care for you.
• 

  Quandry

  No matter what, I will be there for my best friend.

  You have obviously been a wonderful friend to this person. I am so sorry that he is willing to throw the friendship away, especially viewing you as a bad influence. My only suggestion is that you send him a card that states this. I don't know if it will tug at his heart, but if there's still one corner of it that hasn't been taken over by the Watchtower Society....

  Perhaps you could add that you are looking into the teachings of JWs. You needn't mention where you are finding the information....since the web is from the devil in JW land.....
• 

  mlj

  Well, I got a phone call late last night from older sister and it is not good news. My friend along with his younger sister has been "studying" to be a JW since last December.

  They were approached by an aunt who is a JW for the last few yrs. The aunt talked to 3 of the siblings...... at their mother's gravesite and told them they could see their mother again if they became a JW. That they could live forever with her as a family, they just had to be a JW.

  Sue did not fall for it, and now they won't talk to her or their other brother. My friend shaved his beard he has had for over 25 yrs. These are people in their 40's, not gullible youngsters. Sue said he was upset with me because I made a joke about my cat being possessed. I remember him talking to me about spirits and demons a while back, but I thought he was joking or had been drinking or smoking something. Oh boy, I really remember that conversation, and I didn't think he was serious. It sounded like a crazy joke or something. I also can't believe he shaved...he was so self conscious about the shape of his face and jaw and chin, that he started growing it in highschool.

  My friend was really close to his mom. She died a slow death from cancer and I really worried about my friend then, worried about him committing suicide or something. I am really mad now about the way this was done. It was the 10th anniversary of their mom's death and 3 of the 4 siblings were there having a "picnic with their mom" when the aunt came approached them.

  I know I said I wasn't mad at him yesterday, but I feel mad today. And hurt. My logical side says he is a grown man and can make his own decisions, but my heart says, how could he do this to us especially after all we have been thru. And I wonder what happened to his brain? Did he leave it on his bedstand when he got up that morning? My husband says just to forget him, don't write him, don't call him, he made his own bed, hurt my feelings, let him come to me. Sue wants me to keep my vacay plans and come visit them and try to talk face to face with him. I just don't know. Well, thanks for listening all.
• 

  PSacramento

  It is very easy to blame a religion for something, and in the case of the JW's,their religion does indeed take much blame, but lets us never forget that we all have free will and NO ONE put a gun to your friends head and said for him not to be your friend anymore.

  That is HIS decision and no one elses.

  Regardless of whatever influence someone or some group may have on us, the choice AND responsibility for those choices, are OURS and no one elses.
• 

  LatinxJW

  PSacramento

  Your statement makes no sense, his choice prior to the WT was to be very good friends with her. Now he is breaking that because the WT tells him to because she is of satans world. Why are you making excuses for WT mind control?
• 

  mlj

  His sister and I both feel he has been brainwashed. That precludes rational thinking.