Brand New: Currently Totally Devastated

by daringhart13 78 Replies latest jw friends

  • daringhart13
    daringhart13

    THanks to all of you. I've read every post....I'm going to follow your advice. Such kindness......kindness you won't find in a KH unless you have some sort of status.......

    I have made an appointment with a therapist. I saw one briefly after going through a divorce a few years ago. But this is much, much more devastating. I can't pretend anymore. There are so many lies.

    I will write my story

  • peaches
    peaches

    welcome......yes,,,,i will bet your heart is broken and your conscience grieved beyond words....((((((( big hugs )))))))) is it ok if i ask you a question or do you not feel up to it yet????? thank you....peaches

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I look forward to reading your story.

    I haven't posted mine yet because I'm still "fading" but I'm pretty sure we've been found out and there will be an announcement soon.

  • truthseekeriam
    truthseekeriam

    Welcome... I look forward to hearing more from you.

    This place is a wonderful place to be in a time of Total Devastation. Most have been where you are and many are still there with you... It helps to not be alone in your pain.

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Welcome! It's always a relief to see an elder who saw the same things I saw throughout my life in the organization. Tells me there's hope, even for the ones on my committee.

    Weird thing? I never felt like God hated me for thinking something was wrong with the religion. I'd read too much of Jesus' life and ministry to believe that he or his Father would approve of unloving behavior in the congregation. Seeing that it was, not just individuals, but an organization-wide problem (because we were being TRAINED to be unloving), I knew SOMETHING was wrong. I just couldn't figure out what, until I Googled '1914'. That was the end of it for me.

    I'm sure many will suggest good reading material to help you. If you can handle it, 'Crisis of Conscience' by Raymond Franz is #1 in opening one's eyes to everything...but if you're emotional now, you might want to wait on that one...

    Take your time. But acquire as much information as you can. I started with 4Jehovah.org myself. Might not be a bad idea to check out some of the stuff there. It proved very helpful to me. Wish you the best, and do stick around.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Welcome daringhart....I agree that there is much more pain, politics and hurt on the elder body than anywhere else. I had many years of it .

    Feel free to tell us more of your story when you can - we know where you are coming from

  • bluecanary
    bluecanary

    Welcome. To echo what everyone else has said, knowledge is your friend. Some have left the JWs and come to understand God as loving person who accepts them as an individual and this has been a freeing experience. Others have left the JWs and come to understand that God does not exist and this has been a freeing experience. When you leave the WT, it may feel devestating at first, but no matter which direction life takes you, there really is no where to go but up!

  • daringhart13
    daringhart13

    Wow...what a great bunch of people....thanks to each of you..... I feel like a whiny baby.

    Peaches..... sure, you can ask me anything :)

  • nugget
    nugget

    By moving away from the organisation you have taken a stand for what is right. It is an organisation that let you down and made these rules. So don't feel you have to define how God may feel based on these men and their attitudes. You can see how they don't speak for him so why would his opinion be the same as theirs?

    If you have courage, compassion and empathy these are fine qualities how can god hate anyone who displays these? Welcome to the board.

  • yknot
    yknot

    You are 'waking-up' and it is difficult time...... but you are among friends who are either going through a similar awakening or are here to help you as they were helped when the truth about the 'troof' came a knockin'!

    There is no rush to share your story, we all understand the fear, hesitation and reluctance! I told mine slowly after accidently clicking on this site while trying to get to the watchtower.org two and half years ago....... Looking back it was like being 'snatched from the fire' and I have never regretted having 'accurate knowledge'.

    As far as how long it takes, well that is a personal journey that depends on how quick you discern lie of appointment. That 'myth' is the stronghold keeping so many in bondage to the WTS. You will probably experience the 5 stages of loss

    Stages to expect are 1) Denial and Isolation, 2) Anger, 3) Bargaining, 4) Depression and 5) Acceptance

    The goodnews many posters here have uploaded old-time copies of WT material ranging from 1874 to present! So when you are ready you can read Russell, Rutherford and early Knorr........ they are available for you 'make sure all things' regarding the 'appointment' and the very foundations of the WTS beliefs.

    Take one step at a time......

    I am thrilled you have joined!!!!!

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