Some stay FOR the control?

by SearchingForMe 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  serenitynow!

  I do think that even if it is not a control issue, that the feeling of superiority JWs feel keeps them in the organization. Because so many haven't gone to college, don't have careers, in the real world they would be "nothing," but in the org they are told that they have real knowledge that even those who have been to the seminary don't. My mother is one of the superior JWs. She feels that she is better than worldly people, and most JWs because she really knows the bible (NWT). In reality however, she can barely keep a roof over her head. In all other aspects of life she is a perpetual screw-up. The KH is the only place where she has self-worth.

  As far as some people staying so they can control others, I guess that could be so, for males. Even if a man has a crappy job at the bottom of the totem pole, he can still have control over the lives of others through being an elder. I think TPTB at the WT take those things into account when they discourage school and careers. If you keep people in a lowly position in life, and elevate them in the congregation, they will hold fiercely to it because they have nothing else going on in life.

  Oh well, those are just my thoughts.
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  LongHairGal

  Wobble,

  I agree with you. I believe some stay to BE controlled. They feel they need to be controlled or else they will lapse into 'sin'. I actually remember hearing words to this very effect by some elder. I heard him say 'well, it keeps people doing the right thing....' This is really pathetic and it is too bad if somebody needs to be hit with a stick just to stay on a straight course.

  What it is all about ultimately is people have abdicated their thinking faculties to somebody else. Maybe in a way they feel they are LESS accountable because they are doing what somebody else is telling them to do. They want to be told what shoe to put on first.
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  sir82

  I would contend that there is likely an even greater number who stay because they are controlled. Particularly the born-ins.

  Many view the world as big, evil, and scary. There's so much uncertainty out there! You mean I might have to decide what direction my life should take?

  But that's so hard! It's much easier and safer to let the elders/elderettes/WTS watch over me, and tell me what things I should avoid, and tell me what constitutes "success" and "failure" in life.

  That's why so many have that "deer in the headlights" look when confronted with a "conscience matter".

  "Don't tell me it's my choice regarding what blood fractions I'll accept! I can't figure that stuff out! Just tell me what I should put on my card and I'll sign it!"
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  Scarred for life

  Interesting thread. Great comments from all. I agree with sir82 that born-ins are raised in a very small world and are very sheltered, protected and isolated. Many of them never have any thought of becoming educated or doing anything with their life other than what they are told to do at the KH.
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  JWoods

  I would contend that there is likely an even greater number who stay because they are controlled. Particularly the born-ins.

  Many view the world as big, evil, and scary. There's so much uncertainty out there! You mean I might have to decide what direction my life should take?

  What Sir82 said was what I thought this thread was going to be about. I agree - many JWs actually LIKE being safely controlled by big brother.
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  dgp

  Many authors have pointed out that some people prefer to live under a despot rather than to have to make all decisions by themselves. Ray Franz is among them. In his In search of Christian Freedom, he says that some people want others to do their thinking. The fact is, having to do all decisions by yourself, having to make your own moral choices, and, then, not knowing what happens after death, all shakes us very deeply, and so many are willing to trade freedom for security.

  Others derive their sense of security from keeping people in subjugation.

  Sad, but true.
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  babygirl30

  the feeling of superiority JWs feel keeps them in the organization. Because so many haven't gone to college, don't have careers, in the real world they would be "nothing," but in the org they are told that they have real knowledge that even those who have been to the seminary don't. My mother is one of the superior JWs. She feels that she is better than worldly people, and most JWs because she really knows the bible (NWT). In reality however, she can barely keep a roof over her head. In all other aspects of life she is a perpetual screw-up. The KH is the only place where she has self-worth.

  you NAILED my family to a 'T'!!!!! My mother has emotional issues, and so she throws scrip and doctrine in your face as if she sits at the right hand of God. LOL! She is NOT well liked in the cong because #1 - she is extremely judgemental, #2 - she feels she has the 'right' to counsel (brutally) whomever she wants, calling herself a 'seasoned sister', and #3 - she criticizes those that don't live up to HER spiritual standards (even though most things are supposed to be conscience matters). Add that all up, and you have one nuckin-futs woman!! I love her dearly, but she can be unbearable when she is in JW mode, and the worst part is that she can't FUNCTION without it...she can't hold a job, has many health issues, emotionally can't even handle keeping her house CLEAN let alone managing her time, she has NO friends (short of a 98yr old sister in the cong that lives in a retirement home and has stage 4 alzheimers - whom she calls her 'best friend'), she is not close to ANY family (not her own - and she can't stand my fathers family because they are all 'worldly') and when you try to speak to her about anything logical, she immediately breaks into tears and accuses YOU of disrespecting her. Without the JW 'aura' hanging over her head, this woman would crumble. She has no career and no life...so being a JW gives her a purpose of some sort - validation, where if she walked outside the JW world, she wouldn't even be noticed.
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  serenitynow!

  babygirl are our mothers related? Mine has serious emotional issues. My mom will keep me on the phone for hours while she breaks down the entire book of Daniel to me. It is brutal!
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  babygirl30

  serenitynow!

  GIRL....if yours is anything like mine - then I am giving you a straight up CYBERHUG!!!!

  My mother sees everything in her little bubble as 'good' and whatever doesn't fit in HER bubble is 'bad'. Personal freedom and thought has no place in HER world, and me being as independent as I am only led to us FIGHTING and arguing nonstop. I didn't need to go to the 'hood to see fights, I had black-on-black crime right up IN my home when we would go at it. -hahahahahaha
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  serenitynow!

  Yeah the hardcore JWs can be very dogmatic. I think me and my mom are just going to have to agree to disagree, if that's possible! lol