by Confuzzled 48 Replies latest jw friends
It's not a good situation now and it's not going to get any better once the baby arrives...I think it would only get worst. Confuzz, you need to value yourself a whole lot more than your Unboyfriend does.
I vote #1 too. #2 would happen when pigs fly.
It's easier, actually, to hear from complete strangers what I think I've known all along. I think the fact he is a JW only puts the icing on the cake of what I'm dealing with. I really need to assess the situation for real this time. Things will not only get worse as long as he continues with his indocrination, everything non-JW related will get bigger, and my relationship with him will only get more confusing.
I am sorry sweety.....
You really are a wonderful and I am sure a beaming beauty with the glow of pregnancy!
You will make a wonderful mother (including if you choose adoption)..... it is your top priority to care for this wee one growing inside of you!
The best revenge against this creep is to never give him any power over your life again.
Again since I don't know your personal situation....... if you aren't employed with insurance seek out your states aid for pregnant women. Take advantage of any and all options. For instance the local college in my area has a childcare lab that is used not only to care for teacher's kids but also college students while providing hands on experience for those pursing children's education and care...... unlike a daycare the caregivers are monitored by teachers. Eat right, take your vitamins and drink plenty of water!
Should you choose to keep your child....... take time to look at Erik Erickson's model on child development! Spend the child's first years holding them, cooing loving words, singing songs and reading reading reading reading to them as this is the time they develop senses of love, security, trust and optimism! Children are wonderful, loving and a blessing...... and are totally worth all the time and effort it takes to care for them in a proper manner!
Love and prayers!
You have to be asking yourself "Who really IS this guy? Which of his many personalities would I end up being married to? And WHO are these self righteous, womanizing, quasi JW quasi worldly people who are moving in WITH him?"
All this guy is is a sperm donor. You should NOT be marrying him under any circumstances. That would be meaningless except that you could now file your taxes jointly. You know how the Bible talks about that three part cord being a marriage? The wife, the husband and God? Well yours would be the wife, the husband, the organization, the elders, the elders wives, his parents, the congregation busy bodies, and ...trust me on this...God doesnt want anything to do with THAT union because it will NOT be based on any kind of love and devotion and selflessness.
If you like holidays, do Christmas, birthdays, 4th of July...you know THOSE holidays...you will no longer be able to do ANY of them again if you are living with this man. Nor will your innocent child. He will be dragging this baby to ADULT meetings several hours a week and indoctrinating him to hate all things nonJW...and that would include you Mom.
Wipe the windshield clean girlfriend. SEE where you are going. Put your life in gear and get the hell away from this guy and his cult, but before you go, make sure his ass is on the hook for child support.
Yknot, I also vote for number 1. Confuzzled sounds like the woman who won't give up just because a bad apple is doing this to her and her baby.
If he goes away, think of him as DEAD WEIGHT you get off your shoulders. Chin up and keep going.
My two cents.
Confuzzled, count me in on the "get a child support order" side. Try to get "full-time gainful employment" language in the support order, so he can't go out full-time pioneering and then cry "poverty" when the support payments are due.
His behavior says he is in no way is ready to be a responsible spouse and parent. "...the next woman he is involved with seriously..." Like fathering a child isn't serious enough? Like the soon-to-be mother of his child is something to be tossed aside when something better comes along?
"...but I do mind the half-assed relationship I'm involved in!" You answered your own question: don't waste your life and your child's life waiting for him to grow up! He shows no sign of living up to adult responsibilities, and for your child's sake you must get on with your life.
I was him. Unbaptised, born in, semi indoctrinated.
There was no religious reason not to marry my pregnant Anglican GF and there is no religious reason for him not to marry you.
Get the child support sorted and dump him. Until such time as he fully understands that Jesus did not select the Watchtower he is damaged goods and is not marriage material and is a danger to you and your child's mental health.
Chris
Black Sheep you are a good man!.......
The world needs more like you!
RUN FAST AND FAR!
Boil all the JW dross out and you have a guy who expects you to CHANGE to be good enough to marry. In other words, he does NOT like/love you for you. If he says he does, he will be lying first to himself than you. ACTIONS speak louder than words.
RUN
<3 Black Sheep......
