Was it encouraging or defeating when you heard counsel to do more ?

by troubled mind 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Small things from our recent Elder visit keep popping up in my mind . One thing we discussed was how much pressure we felt in the congregation to keep doing more , more ,more .......I said that it caused us to never feel we were ever good enough ! If you are not meeting the national average you were treated like a slacker . That began to weigh us down , even though in my heart I felt I was doing what I could it was not going to be enough .

    The accompaning Elder reply was that the constant reminders were to encourage .....He said " Didn't you encourage your children to do better in school ? Get better grades ?"

    I said "Yes .....but I never brow beat them until they wanted to give up ! "

    He went on to say " Well some in the hall have circumstances that only allow them to get five hours in a month ,but others have the time they just need to put in more effort .Their circumstances could allow them to do more if just pushed a bit ."

    I said " But who made you the judge on whether or not someone has the circumstances or Not ??? You don't know what may be going on in someones life. Shouldn't it be up to them to freely do or give the time they see fit to do ?"

    They just put on the stupid smile and shake their heads like I just don't understand .....arghhhh

    Honestly when you have not been around it for a while you just don't realize how braindead they really are .

    I will post a few more topics we discussed as they come back to me ...

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    Defeating, as I was already loaded down with working and trying to take care of my semi-invalid mother.

    This reminder makes me want to go on a butt-kicking spree!

    Sylvia

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I know what you mean Sylvia . A good butt kicking may not help them ,but it would sure give me alot of pleasure !

    At the end of our jw entrapment I was taking care of my very ill Mother running to hospitals 30miles away ,working part time , taking care of my own three kids (all going through teenage hell at the time ) and still doing my own household things . All I wanted on a weekend was to collapse and decompress ......but NO we had to get up early go in service ,get up early go to the meeting on Sunday and listen to encouragement about how blessed we would feel if we pioneered ! ......

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    I remember this elder giving a part two years ago and he kept saying can't you just put in 15 more minutes, just 15 more minutes. What is 15 minutes? 15 more minutes will not break you. So you get home at 1:00 instead of 12:30 what is 15 minutes of time giving it to Jehovah.

    I just wanted to scream. It is not just the 15 more minutes then it is 30 more minutes then it is 45 more minutes which happened, then we got home at 1:30 or 2:00 and when you work all week and only have Saturday to do any work on your own home is a lot of time.

    Then I started to think about those who I was working with in field service, I do not know about others but my husband was an elder and we had a lot of mentally ill JW's in most of the halls we were in. NONE of the elders would work with them, the other elders avoided them at all costs. It was really bad but my husband would feel sorry for them and we always had in our car group at least one or two extremely mentally ill friends. It was so hard going to a door with them because they were not clean and smelled. They could not talk well and the house holder would just look at us like why are you here. I had to let them talk at the doors because they would get upset otherwise.

    Then making RV's with them was so hard or having to sit in the car while my husband was on a long call. I swear I just wanted to blow out my brains sometimes tying to converse with them. This one brother heard voices in his head and he always worked with us when he went out. I remember one time my husband left me with him for over a half hour in the car. I thought I would go crazy.

    Then we went out the 15 more minutes that we were guilted into doing. I had so much to do at home and shopping on and on. I just came home and sat staring at the wall, after the mornings of the mentally ill.

    So no it was not encouraging to be told to do more.

    LITS

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    It used to annoy me to hear this because I felt this talk always came from somebody who wasn't really part of the workforce and was clueless. When I heard this shit, it went in one ear and out the other.

    They were either retired and long forgot what it was like to work OR it came from somebody on the fringes of the workforce.

  • mindmelda
    mindmelda

    I never once remember being asked if the elders could come over and "encourage" me without it making my stomach tighten except once. And that was a just what I call a "tea and sympathy" call after our daughter died.

    We just ate cake and coffee and chatted about the weather and such.

    Usually, it was what my husband called "elders gettin their righteous on with you". Means "getting chewed out like you're 8 years old, for being naughty".

    He finally would tell them "no thanks" when they asked to come for the obligatory sheparding call, which we only got when the CO was in town.

  • notverylikely
    notverylikely

    It was like water off a ducks back

  • LittleSister
    LittleSister

    I never felt encouraged, but what could you expect from a bunch of poorly educated window cleaners whose only religious understanding comes from reading badly researched articles full of twisted scriptures and cult propaganda.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I know people who were motivated by it due to guilt. I know no one who was ever encouraged by it. But to the borg, it's all the same thing. If you do more as a result, you were defacto encouraged. Encouragement = motivated to do more.

    My personal experience is that I had NO IDEA I was so weighed down until I physically quit participating in their ridiculous works of meetings and preaching. The weight off my shoulders has been tremendous. So much so that I actually dread the thought of ever going back.

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    you know an additional 15 min would not be enough it would be 15min more the next time and I especially hated when they would pull the never refuse an assignment from Jehovah and relate some ridiculous experience of some fictictous witness who left everything for some horrible theocratic whatever and they found great joy "gag". I started just saying no and people looked shocked that I didn't want to do what they asked me and I gave no excuse just a no and I realized it was over and I was thru with them.

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