by troubled mind 22 Replies latest jw friends
They make a mockery of the scripture 'God loves a cheerful giver' dont they?...I had M.E. an abusive husband 2 daughters going through divorces 2 teenage sons and a baby girl ...and I mostly aux pioneered...and still when they gave these talks I felt like I should be doing more....it took the joy away for sure....and often the elder giving them was only out for an obligatory hour once a week himself....
Loz x
It was that the 'more' was a lot of more waste. When you see the total lack of productivity in the field, where you can talk to a very small number of people in 2 hours, then 'more' was a bother because it was a total waste.
Reflecting on this......
I just seemed to absorb it all as status quo.....
I can only recall a handful of times the Nazi PO or ExStepdad tried to belittle me with the concept....... I dismissed them as they dismissed me.
They make a mockery of the scripture 'God loves a cheerful giver' dont they?...
Yes! If we were never to be made to feel compelled to give, why were they telling us how much to give in the preaching? I always struggled with the incongruence of that. I remember telling my ex at the last that I might still go door-to-door, but I would never ever turn in another report to them.
I did a lot and still got the talking to about doing more.
One thing that hurt the most was when I was helping a family who had a member dying at home. This family was deaf - all of them - two sisters and their husbands who lived next door to each other. At the same time there was a elder dying at home. He got all the visits and support. My family got nothing so I asked an elder if something could be arranged. They arranged for 2 visits both from elder's wives who came once each. So I spent a lot of time there. I would be up all night with her and then go home in the morning to get the kids off to school and then I would sleep. This went on for about 2 weeks when I got a talking to about not going out in service and missing a couple of meetings (I stayed with her while the family could get to a meeting.
According to the elders my first priority should have been the service and my time with this family was not worth spending time on. My elder/husband wasn't pleased either since I was gone by bedtime and he wasn't getting his "due".
I dug my heels in and told them I would not stop helping this family. The woman only lived a couple of more weeks and I was there when she died with her sister and I holding her hands as she took her last breaths. Then I had to call the paramedics, the elders, and my husband. I was there to do the translating for it all.
I do not regret helping this family even though it was so hard to watch her waste away and die. But I would take that over service any day.
For the elders or anyone else to say it didn't count was beyond my ability to understand. It was just wrong. If Christ was there I think I know who he would be angry with. I didn't do this for praise or glory. I did it because it was the right thing to do. And I would do it again in a heartbeat.
By this time I was pretty disillusioned with the WTS and JWs and was shortly after this that I made my great escape.
I said " But who made you the judge on whether or not someone has the circumstances or Not ??? You don't know what may be going on in someones life. Shouldn't it be up to them to freely do or give the time they see fit to do ?"
Well done!
Not to sound crude, but it was like getting kicked in the nuts 3 times a week!
Ladies, I dont even know how to relate the misery of that pain to you......
I used to find it very discouraging and defeating to be told constantly to “do more”.
I was a single sister with no parents, little family in the Borg, and working fulltime in order to support myself. I also had health problems which I didn’t address properly because I felt the new system would be here “any day now”.
So I was doing the best I could do, not to mention that I was trying to please my employer in an increasingly more competitive workforce, yet I would then come to the meetings to be told that I wasn’t doing enough!
Eventually I came to the conclusion that the WTS or the elders weren’t paying my bills, so I was the one who would decide if I was doing enough spiritually. Which also got me thinking what spirituality really meant, and the rest was history!
Was it encouraging or defeating when you heard counsel to do more?
This was one area where it had absolutely no effect on me whatsoever. I usually got about 10 or 12 hours in each month, but if I didn't, I didn't care. Whenever they'd whine from the platform or ASSemblies about 'doing more, more, more', I'd just sit there and think "oh f**k off and go get a real job".
When one of my girlfriends and her hubby were trying to do the Fade years ago, they got a 'shepherding visit' from one of the local gestapo about their low low hours on their Field Serve-Us Reports. I had told her beforehand to ask him where in the bible did the first century Christians have to get a certain number of hours in each month and report it? She did and I guess the elder got a glazed look in his eye and he spluttered: 'well.......well, um......Just come out in Service!!" That was his answer.
They could say that all they wanted. No matter what you put in, they want more. I remember when I first started, I was getting 20 hours a month and up (the record was 32), and they wanted me to put in even more so I could pio-sneer. They were not satisfied with around 23 or 24--even though it was pushing up the average (yet I never once got told to slow down because I was pushing up the average).
There is a point at which everyone should strive to reach. When the marginal cost begins to exceed the marginal benefit, you have reached the optimum level for yourself. That will be different for each person--if they are not getting benefits exceeding what it is costing them from doing the next minute of field circus, they should quit. Otherwise, they are going to end up not so welll off--and notice I didn't say that someone else should benefit more than it costs you--you should benefit more than it costs you. And, if you are not receiving any benefits, this point could well be reached right at zero hours a month.
If they would strive to improve the benefits of going out more, they wouldn't have to hound. If people are going to stand to gain more from putting in that extra hour than they stand to lose, they would be losing out if they didn't. However, if they stand to gain nothing and waste that hour, they are losing out on nothing except a wasted hour and should not do it.
WTW, you forget the carrot that is being held out in front of all JWs. That is the benefit they consider is worth any effort they put into the witnessing work.
