How long will I be an exJW vs a fomer JW? (page 4)

cult classic

Just because we post here doesn't mean we haven't or aren't moving forward in life. I'd bet many here are attending college or have gotten their degrees. Don't most posters have family, careers and interests that keep their lives full? Whether or not you do has nothing to do with being stuck.

There will always be those who have extensive experience with the witnesses breaking free who will be willing to help others. And not everyone who does posts here.

If you feel being regular on this or any other board means you're stuck by all means move on. Being stuck is an uncomfortable feeling. But just because some continue to participate doesn't mean they are stuck in life.

By the way, repetitive conversations are a part of most social structures. And if you need to come here to express anger that is welcome too isn't it? Now we have to put a cap on how long we're on the board?.....really?

I hope those who can will stick around to assist those who are exiting. Your help is invaluable. Besides how long does it take to respond to a few threads and be of assistance to others?

I don't get it.

cult classic

"And I wonder just how much my words will continue to help?"

Come on Jeff, your words help. Of the threads and comments I've read, most are helpful. Don't stop posting because you don't think it's needed. If you need a break, take one. Most posters here are very helpful.

And for the others mentioning they might fade away from the board............come on.

What's with you guys?

Who cares what we call it - exJW / former JW / used to be JW ................it doesn't matter.

We're Out ! Praise the Lord!

Paralipomenon

I had a very similar conversation with my sister once. We were in for about 20 years as well. At the point that we are at now, being an ex witness isn't embarassing, it doesn't bring up anger or hurt. It is just our past. Our upbringing as witnesses is just a series of inside jokes based on our childhood.

We prefer to keep the memories alive. Looking back now, I wasn't misserable for 20 years, I was just deluded.

Keep the happy memories and use the bad ones as a learning experience.

AllTimeJeff

So y'all are saying that just because I come here doesn't mean that I am living in the past? ;)

The big difference is, I can do occasional JW subjects, but what matters to me more then just debating belief systems or JW dogma (which can be debated to an exhausting point of tedium) is moving on. If someone moves on, to me, thats a victory, Christian or not, Republican or Democrat. Or a Farkelite.

The thread Lady Lee started was good for me. I like to socialize a bit. And yeah, I am almost at a point where I can completely leave most anything associated with my old JW past.

What I didn't anticipate when I was in my "posting prime" was how repetitve the subjects can get. That's one thing. Another thing is, it does remind me of my past when I post here. That sometimes doesn't help me personally.

Or maybe it does and I just don't know it yet.

Well, one things for sure, it is an organic process.

Scarred for life

I do not read every thread. I look mainly for the ones that are about getting past the anger and hurt and horror of being raised as a JW. As far as JW dogma, I just really don't care that much. I'm not interested very much in their current doctrine. All that stuff is way in my past and I don't have anyone in my life that is a current JW and I haven't for many years. It's the emotional issues that I come here for.

Maybe you're looking for a boost to your social life. I hope you are able to do that . I'm sure you can. Good luck!!!!!

cult classic

Agreed scarredforlife. And yep jeff that's what we're sayin'. Dealing with the fallout from leaving the religion is not living in the past. That is what's going on now. Coming here really helps everyone to keep moving forward and not get sucked back into the borg......... Frequenting this board may not be necessary but it is definitely helpful.

freeflyingfaerie

...On reading AllTimeJeff's posts: it was fun while it lasted! Im a new one here, but spotted out your posts as being super great.

But i was thinking about that too, our identity and how the former JW aspect of our lives doesnt define us, but has affected our psyche. (some of you have probably been over this 1,000 times already and it may drive you a bit crazy to talk about it yet again, but im personally not done discussing it) This site is therapeutic for me, but i totally get it that people move on from frequenting here. Happy trails...

cyberjesus

The moment we dont see you here it means that you have finally have moved on. It would be a great loss for us and for the people who are just leaving since we all benefit from the posts of former bethelites, elders, cos or missionaries.

But it will be a great victory for you and your mental. health. Whenever you are ready to leave us you must know that many here are thankful to you and many others who have given their time to share their experiences.

Thanks once again

Aussie Oz

Thats a real good question Jeff.

I just spent 5 days with my father, he lost his family to the JW in 1972. I had things i wanted to know about that time in his life and while talking about my new journey from being on here, his biggest concern was pretty much: "How long will this last for you son? By all means you may need to understand the influences of the past as a JW but it is over. Don't let this turn into an obsession that will consume more of your life."

For the better part of 12 years i just plain ignored the JWs and armageddon. It was not until i found this forum and all the other information on the internet that i started to delve into the past. You see, until 5 months ago i was still convinced they had the 'truth' and would have been happy to see my children baptized into what i considered the best way of life for them.

The first 3 months were pretty heavy and i had to explain to my wife that this was how it would be for a little while before it would tame down. And it has to a fair degree. I feel i have read most of all i need to know about the watchtower. I still need to research some stuff for my own satisfaction but the doubt is all gone.

My main reason now for continuing as an 'exjw' status is to know what my kids are being taught and try to free them. Along the way if i can help others who want to leave or stop others from joining that will be rewarding too.

When my kids are safe, i will then feel it is time to transistion to 'i was once a witness' status.

So until then... i may be around a while!

cheers oz

ps jeff: if you leave here, please pop in from time to time! I also enjoy your insight and background... i would NEVER have imagined that Giliead could produce an apostate!

Quillsky

Of all the walkaways I know in real life, I am the only one who reads and posts on ex-JW forums. They generally think it's a bit obsessive of me. Some imply that it's distasteful.

When I compare them with me, or my previous ex-JW self pre-forums to my current self, this is the big difference...... Because the issues are SO much more clearly defined for me now, and because I have immersed myself in them for a few years, I am much more vocal, outspoken, passionate, sometimes so much so that it seems to scare people.

I'm not so sure that's a good thing.

How long will I be an exJW vs a fomer JW?

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