What Are Your Favorite WT Quotes/Teachings? Most Ridiculous or Hilarious Ones.

by mentallyfree31 37 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  mentallyfree31

  When you look back over the 130 year history of WT, what is the most bizzare/ridiculous/hilarious/absurd teaching or quotes that you have found?

  One of the ones I find hilarious is during the Beth-Sarim affair, Rutherford announced that the world was laughing and mocking them because they don't believe the resurrection is going to come to pass when they said it was. Rutherford went on to say in effect "we will show them when people start coming back from the graves"..

  LOL

  Another would be a quote found in the book Apocalypse Delayed. The author says that Nathan Knorr kept the wrongness of homosexuality and masturbation before the Bethel family so much and so constantly, that one might wonder whether Nathan Knorr had homosexual leanings himself"

  (Note: this is merely the author's quote that I am repeating. I know very little about Knorr, as that was way before my time. I simply found this observation funny.)

  What are your favorite quotes that are totally absurd, ridiculous and/or hilarious?
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  Hadit

  So many to chose from. One that is ridiculous.

  Russell: "A truth presented by satan himself is just as true as a truth presented by God. Accept truth no matter where you find it, no matter what it contradicts" Zion's Watchtower, July, 1879, pp. 8-9.

  That explains a lot!
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  serenitynow!

  That Beth Sarim thing just threw me. I cannot believe JWs back then watched that play out and still stayed in. When I read about it in the news online, I was so embarrassed. I mean how could JWs not be like, "okay you are so retarded." Miracle Wheat too, insane.

  I always found it difficult to see how all prophecy could be linked to JW.
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  serenitynow!

  The fact that they didn't want you to watch things that are christian/bible oriented that they didn't author. I mean watching something like Veggietales. It incorporates bible principles into the stories, but if you ask a JW, they will be against watching it- and it's a much better show than alot of the dramas I've seen. Any kind of religious utterances discouraged, "god bless, have a blessed day." I mean I'm not religious, but when I was JW, I was like what's wrong with responding politely to a person who said that to you? Usually they would say something condescending, and ridicule the person later.
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  cult classic

  That all of the meetings, talks and litterature are provisions from Almighty God and are to be taken seriously.
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  mentallyfree31

  Cult Classic - HAHA! Funny stuff.

  LOL
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  5thGeneration

  I liked the one someone posted a while back that said women would become men after we reached perfection and we'd all serve together as brothers.
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  garyneal

  I liked the gold in The Finished Mystery:

  Thou wilt lengthen out leviathan (the locomotive) with a hook (automatic coupler) or with a snare (coupling-link) to drop down. Wilt thou not place a ring (piston) in his nostrils (cylinders) or pierce through his cheeks (piston-ends) with a staff (piston rod)? Will he make repeated supplications unto thee (to get off the track)? Or will he utter soft tones unto thee (when he screeches with the whistle)? ... Wilt thou play with him as with a bird (make him whistle at will)?

  The Finished Mystery, 1926 Edition, p 85

  
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  mentallyfree31

  That's a good one garyneal. I almost posted that, but I couldn't remember if it was Rutherford or Russell. I see now, it was rutherford.
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  garyneal

  I almost posted that, but I couldn't remember if it was Rutherford or Russell. I see now, it was rutherford.

  I believe Rutherford mearly cobbled together a bunch of writing from the Bible Students for this book. If I am correct, neither he nor Russell actually wrote the book.