What Are Your Favorite WT Quotes/Teachings? Most Ridiculous or Hilarious Ones. (page 3)

White Dove

Smurf and garage sale demunz have got to be the most ridiculous and laughable.

Does anyone remember when the Revelation book had a page with pictures of jets and tanks and war. It said that this was a literal sign of the times. Then the next time we studied it they told us to ignore that page that the teaching had changed. Nu-Lite. I remember putting a big X on that page. I guess Jehober got it wrong the first time.

Believing that the demonz will come and get you if you listen to certain music or watch certain movie. Hmmmm, maybe that's what "The Ring" is about. Demonz come out of the TV and get you after a week. At least they have the courtesy to call a week ahead of time.

jam

I might be mistaking, it was related too the flood,it had never rain before the flood. Anyone heard of

that??

teel

Yes Jam, I think that's still the official position, that before the flood most of the water was just floating around in the atmosphere, so the moisture was enough for plants, there were no rains. It was one of the reasons why the people in Noah's time didn't accept that a flood is coming, because they never saw water falling from the sky.

Edit: I was wrong, I found an article in w98 1/15 that says we don't know if there was rain before. I remember for sure I heard a public talk after '98 saying there was no rain. The speaker probably wasn't up to date with new light - no wonder, it changes more often than my underpants (and they stink worse too).

Desilusionnee

Teel most of them still teach and say in FS that there were no rains before the flood. We showed an elder the w98 1/15 that says we don't know if there was rain before and he came back with AN OLDER WT (70s) quoting that there definitly were no rains before the flood. I'm afraid you cannot help those people.

Desi

serenitynow!

I know I was taught there was no rain prior to the flood.

Heaven

The most ridiculous to me: That they, and they alone have 'The Truth' and that God is directing them. (of course, this is me paraphrasing)

LongHairGal

5th generation,

I remember reading a post a while ago that said they taught something about women turning into men at some point. Of course, I never read it in actual print because I never got hold of much older literature. Their past printed word is a major liability and embarrassment to the religion. I am not surprised they want to confiscate and burn their old books and have stripped their kingdom hall libraries of these rare old gems. Ha

Terry,

I remember the nonsense about Jesus supposedly not having a beard and about how militant they got over this.

Nancy Drew,

I loved those waste of time calls. I would breathe a sigh of relief if I didn't have to talk to anybody at the doors. Just goes to show how much I hated the preaching work and never really felt I should be doing it.

Hecklerboy

That if a woman didn't scream while being raped that she comitted fornication.

reslight2

Russell: "A truth presented by satan himself is just as true as a truth presented by God. Accept truth no matter where you find it, no matter what it contradicts" Zion's Watchtower, July, 1879, pp. 8-9.

Nothing wrong with this, not unless you want to believe that a truth spoken by Satan must be a lie simply because he spoke, so that you will end up not believing the truth but will believe that the truth is a lie.

http://ctrussell.wordpress.com/2008/04/17/a-truth-presented-by-satan/

What Are Your Favorite WT Quotes/Teachings? Most Ridiculous or Hilarious Ones.

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