Yes, sorry - you are correct. Two other people authored The Finished Mystery.
Ray Franz covered these locomotive prophecies fairly good in his second book. Funny stuff.
What Are Your Favorite WT Quotes/Teachings? Most Ridiculous or Hilarious Ones.
by mentallyfree31 37 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Leolaia
When you look back over the 130 year history of WT, what is the most bizzare/ridiculous/hilarious/absurd teaching or quotes that you have found?
Definitely this one:
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Bonnie_Clyde
I just found one that I've never seen on this forum.
"Beyond doubt the old but awake 'faithful and discreet slave' stands today as a wonder watchman to the peoples of the nations." WT 7-15-60, page 438.
Is that anything like Wonder Woman?
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Terry
You have no idea how "important" it was that JESUS DID NOT HAVE A BEARD!
None of the publications had an illustration of Jesus where there was not a baby-butt clean-scrubbed face on him.
You'd work the bit of info at the door in your presentation when you flipped the Watchtower article open to show the householder.
They would blink sort of bewildered at the picture of old Jesus all handsome and beardless and not say a word of protest.
Hour talks would work in the tidbit of ...."..and JESUS DID NOT HAVE A BEARD...he was clean-shaven like Adam...."
It was Christendom and the world wide conspiracy of devilish false pagan worship that promoted the idea that Jesus had a beard!!
Then, one day, the Watchtower questions from readers changed all of that. The Jehovah's Witnesses with their crack research departmen working overtime with all of its famous scholars had made a startling discover!! That's right. Jesus PROBABLY DID have a beard. He was Jewish, you see, and not ROMAN.
Go figure.
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undercover
Not so much a single quote but the chapter in the "Revelation - It's Grand Climax at Hand" where it claims that the seven trumpet blasts of Revelation are fulfilled by a series of 7 resolutions at WT conventions during the 1920s.
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mindmelda
Oh, god, where to start?
Recommending quack cures in the Awake, believing that wearing sneakers and jeans would mark you as a homosexual, that masturbation leads to homosexuality, that each of the creative "days" in Genesis were 6,000 years long, that Noah's Ark could really hold all the species of animals on earth, even the basic ones, that Christians in the first century(and thus, the "true" Christians) did this and that just like the WTS does....
It's like a chronic diarrhea of superstitious, nonsensical and unsupportable beliefs I've heard over the years...the shit never ends!
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Bangalore
Is it any wonder that the WT is willing to sue websites for posting quotes from their literature. Their own quotes are in some instances their worst enemies.
Bangalore
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JWoods
My favorite complete nonsense was the 1970 notion that the human heart could "think thoughts" like the human brain.
It is, of course, no longer taught - but I don't think it was ever formally retracted.
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Heartbreaker
Danger of aluminum, miracle wheat.
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nancy drew
theres no end to the nonsense in the wtbs literature but what use to make me laugh was everyone piles into a car group to go in service and the first thing out of the drivers mouth is "anyone got any calls?" I love it we just wanted to cruise around count time chat and stop for coffee or another fun one is "I have a call but its out of the territory " great than you arrive and the person says "theres too many cars they must have company lets not stop today" it was all such a waste of time.