Dearest trex2strike... may you have peace!
A lot of "good" advice here, maybe. Once kind poster wrote:
the only true picture you get of Christ is in the NT
I would like to offer, however, that Christ himself really is the best "picture" you get of him... and of the Most Holy One of Israel, JAH of Armies (JaHVeH).
You said you read the OT (5 times) and the NT (once). May I ask, did you happen to read John 5:39, 40? Perhaps not (or, if you did, perhaps you didn't get the sense of it) so I will quote it for you. Also, since you appear to [rightly] have issues with the WTBTS, I will use a couple/few other versions, vs. the NWT:
"You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life." NKJV
"You search the Scriptures because you believe they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me! Yet you refuse to come to me so that I can give you this eternal life." NLT
"You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life." NIV
I think you get the drift...
However, the TRUTH, dear one, is that we cannot "come" to Christ... unless the Father... the One whom you say you DO believe in... first draws us TO him (Christ). After which we do not choose Christ; Christ... chooses us.
Dear Sylvia's quote probably gave the best advice: ASK. But perhaps you don't know what to ask FOR, so I will give you another quote, that perhaps you also overlooked (or maybe not, but just need a brief reminder?):
"And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and [Jesus] Christ whom You have sent." NKJV
"And this is the way to have eternal life--to know you, the only true God, and [Jesus] Christ, the one you sent to earth." NLT
"Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and [Jesus Christ], whom you have sent." NIV
"And this is eternal life, that they know thee the only true God, and [Jesus Christ] whom thou hast sent." RSV
Again, I think you get the drift.
My point? You cannot know God... if you don't know Christ... and so you kind of have it backwards. Ask, however, to know CHRIST... and you won't only believe in the True God (JaHVeH, which is the name of the Most Holy One of Israel and means "JAH, who causes armies [of angels] to become/breathes into existence armies of angels")... but will KNOW Him, as well!
I bid you peace... and ears to hear... when the Spirit and the Bride say to YOU:
"Come! Take 'life's water'... the holy spirit of God, which spirit is poured out from the innermost parts of the Holy One of Israel and Holy Spirit, JAHESHUA MISCHAJAH, who is the Son and Christ of the MOST Holy One of Israel, JAH... of Armies... FREE!"
A slave of Christ,
SA