Why should I have to sign a letter saying I want to disassociate ?

by troubled mind 15 years ago 84 Replies latest 15 years ago watchtower beliefs

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  Heaven 15 years ago

  The only reason to force this disassociation agenda is to excercise control over someone and to instill fear into remaining members in my opinion . What do you say ?

  I agree. My response: Don't give it to them. By signing a letter, you are perpetuating their agenda. By refusing to sign it, you are removing their control over you.

  Here is the method I use with people who can't take "No" for an answer. State nicely but firmly your position.

  Elder: "Please sign a letter of disassociation."

  Heaven (states in a nice, pleasant tone): "Oh, no thank you."

  Elder: "We need you to sign the letter."

  Heaven (in a firm, business, matter-of-fact tone): "I believe I was clear. I am under no obligation to sign anything if I do not wish to. Shall I call my lawyer?"

  (In certain situations, I replace lawyer with police. It has never failed me yet. Bullies do not deal well with having the authorities involved.)

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  designs 15 years ago

  The BOEs can be very different on this, some let people drift into oblivion and others have to hound people to 'confess' there status.

  Best wishes.

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  Butterflyleia85 15 years ago

  Wow yeah that is so crazy. When I had to go through DFment I learned a whole bunch of stuff that I didn't know when I commetted to what I thought was God and in actualality to the Organization. A letter to stay in, a letter to appeal, a letter to for this and that... When and where... it goes on and on. From when I first stepped into a room with my three elder to now I have learned so so very much.

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  freydo 15 years ago

  I think for them it's closure. They don't have to do anything. You've done it for them. They have to periodically visit the df'd -which they obviously don't want to do. But I never heard of visiting one who da'd which basically accuses them of apostasy. They don't want to deal with that. For me it was a comfort to kick them out.

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  not a captive 15 years ago

  I felt that the process of leaving was stressful the way that birth is on a baby: the pressures and force applied on a baby presses out old fluid in the lungs and prepares them for breathing when it separates from the womb.

  Think of it as being born again!The wierd thing is, we are kind of in labor with ourselves.

  As for what way gives them the power or not? Hey--any way that you have a live baby in the end is good.

  My opinion.

  All the best--You are doing GREAT!

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  happy1975 15 years ago

  Troubled Mind,

  I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. My husband and I just went through something similar and I wouldn't wish the elders on my worst enemy. We were harassed for about three weeks (unannounced visits to our home, endless phone calls) we refused to write a DA letter (which in my opinion is just to make stuff easier for THEM, which I refuse to do) and then they DFd us. They DFd us about a month or so ago and we've rec'd no letter or anything.

  Good luck - hang in there.

  Happy

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  troubled mind 15 years ago

  OH MY GOD I'M AM SO F'N UPSET RIGHT NOW !!!!! I have been up since 4am because my husband had to go into work today so laid back down a half an hour ago to get a little more sleep and the phone rings ....It is 8am here so jump up to answer assuming it is family .

  NO , it's the first Elder the one that had been calling and coming by non stop . AT first I was a little groggy so I didn't immediately hang up on him . He apologized for calling and said the other Elder had told him I had said no further calls .......So in other words he knows my wishes and yet ignores them anyway WTF

  I told him he knows I have a history of depression and since we quit attending I had been very happy . I then told him since their sheperding visit it has stirred up all those bad feelings once again for me , and I need them to stop picking at inconsequencial petty reasons to mess with me . All I wanted was to live quietly and trouble free . He brought up the anti witness video on youtube they were so concerned with ......and then I lost my temper . I told him I thought we lived in a free country were we could read and watch whatever we wanted . I told him it wasn't like I made the video or was even promting it , and that I did not know my account was visible to others ,but now I do so it is now private so it should not stumble anyone else .

  He was like oh okay well that's good ....BUT what i would like to ask you is do you still want to be considered a Jehovah's Witness ???????

  Slam down goes the phone ..........my heart is racing I am so livid ........it is a good thing he didn't show up at door ,I think I would have punched him in thge nose .

  The video they are so concerned with dealt with a young man that committed suicide because of the fear of being df'd by the Elders . The parents felt the lack of concern by the Elders was the catalyst for their sons death ........kind of ironic don't you think !!!!

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  AllTimeJeff 15 years ago

  You can't control what JW's do or what they call things. They say anyone that leaves "disassociates" themself. I call that absolute bullshit. I resigned. They are certainly allowed to call it whatever they want. Of course, as we all know, they lie quite a bit, so it doesn't matter what they call anything.

  In your case, my thoughts for someone in your situation is pretty simple: Do what you want. If you told the elders all that you wanted, and THEY want a letter, THEY can go pound sand.

  Write a letter only if you want to and it serves some kind of purpose for you. In my case, it served a lot of purposes for me. I knew who would read it at Bethel.

  In your case, tell the elders very simply that you have done and said all you care to. If they insist in trying to talk you into it, repeat it ironically until they get the message.

  Do things your way, for your reasons, and don't worry about things, people, or cults that you have no control over.

  Btw, congrats on your freedom.

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  troubled mind 15 years ago

  i am so upsert right now I can't stop shaking .......I am seriously thinking about going and talking to the Police . This IS harrassment and it IS affecting my well being

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  not a captive 15 years ago

  Take a deep breath.

  You have the right. The spirit moves as it wants to......It really is your call.

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