Quandry - Congratulations on being married for almost 40 years! That's a wonderful accomplishment. I agree that if we can hang in there, it will be worth it in the end.
Nugget - It is definitely an adjustment after having a child! We have no time to talk with each other, but it's so important that we find the time to reconnect again. His parents live separate lives, and I don't want that to be us after our children leave the nest.
MrFreeze - Thank you very much for your kind words. I feel bad for my husband because he realizes that he is unable to communicate (not only with me, but with anyone). He is a very closed up individual. When we were dating, we could talk on the phone for hours, so I think counseling might help him to open up again. He's very repressed.
S8 - Thank you for your kind words as well. :) I'm happy that things worked out for you too. I've had doubts for 10 years, but it took my sister to leave for me to investigate them. The grip the society has on people is amazing! I'm reading a book for regular Christians on being a better wife, and so far my husband did notice a positive change from the book. We get along great if we don't talk about religion, so I'll put that on the shelf for now.
WTL - I think it's hard for witnesses to have things in common because we're supposed to spend all our time in theocratic activities. We feel guilty if we go on vacation and miss the meetings, or go to the park instead of on service. I'll try and find some fun things we can do together and as a family to build our relationship up again.
Chalam - Thank you for your suggestion. I've been reading the NIV Bible my friend gave me and found the message to be so different than the NWT. I hope I can get my husband to read it with me sometime. I noticed the Watchtower quoted from different Bible translations lately, and at our convention the speakers also quoted different Bible translations 3 times.
CHG - Thank you for sharing your experience. It's so hard to be married so young when you don't even know yourself yet.
TruthLover - Thank you for your helpful advice too. My husband does have low self-esteem, he's so smart and underestimates himself. I'm encouraging him to go back to school so he can get a job he'll enjoy more. I keep trying to reassure him that I love him and that our family comes first, I'll keep remembering to do that.
Scottiebear - I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time right now. I think being a Witness sometimes causes people to not develop very well socially. They can quickly dismiss things with "that's the world for you" anytime they feel uncomfortable with reality. Going away is something we really need. I'll start looking for a holiday soon.
LouBelle - "May you find your path and your truth." Thank you, this is what I really believe now, that everyone has their own path.
FinallyFree! - I really like your name, it's a wonderful feeling to be free. Thank you for your advice too. We've already invested a lot of time together, so hopefully he's willing to work on things too. I don't think he wants to lose anytime with our child, so he'll try and make it work.
Thank you again everyone for all the helpful advice and support. My husband and I have been through so much in the past couple years (car accident injuries and insurance problems, pregnancy, new baby, health problems, etc.), so I think getting away is a great idea. It's hard to take time out for your partner when you have a little one at home, but I hope if we did take some time, we could reconnect.
I find it funny that my husband thought I was so unhappy after we got married. I told him it was because he expected me to do things I didn't have to do at home, like going on service without question every Saturday morning, or rushing to get to all the meetings and being stressed out if we were a few minutes late. I felt it was more important to do my studies and prepare for FS, but he was all about the "perception." He didn't care if he was prepared as long as he was there.
I feel so much happier now that I realize this isn't the "truth." When we miss meetings, we have time to do our yardwork, talk to our neighbors, and go to the park and have fun.
He recently overheard me talking on the phone about telling my parents about my doubts and was really mad. He didn't bring it up with me, and I didn't bother either. Hopefully we'll be able to work this out sometime!
It would be hard for him to think he's losing me and our family. I keep reassuring him that I do love him and don't want to break up our family. He thought I was selfish for abandoning him and out child because I won't be in the new system. But I asked him why wouldn't I be there if I still choose to believe in God and the Bible and want to worship God with Spirit and Truth. Jesus is the way and the truth...not the WTBTS.
Thank you again everyone! We just had most of his family here visiting for the convention. They are spiritually strong, and quite a contrast to my husband. Sometimes I feel guilty that I've dragged him down, but I think if it was really important to him, he would be more spiritual?
