Struggling

by EmptyInside 44 Replies latest jw friends

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  5thGeneration

  Thx Y!
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  EmptyInside

  5thG- I sent you a pm.
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  What-A-Coincidence

  Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

  ~Steve Jobs

  You should not permit your present situation to influence your thinking or your decision making that regardless of your present situation you should proceed immediately to set a goal to achieve something so big, so exhilarating that it excites you and scares you at the same time.

  ~ Bob Proctor

  Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

  ~ Charles Swindoll
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  5thGeneration

  The only option is for you to continue the status quo and hope that no JW discovers your hidden apostate leanings. If that sound like a better way to live for the next 20-30 years, then have at it.

  Yeah, I see what you're saying too.
• 

  yknot

  I encourage 'civil disobedience'

  """ Wow it is 104 today Bro. Aux Pio, lets all go get something to drink, we can do these doors another day.....Ya I know we have another 45min but we can leave a tract in the bathrooms (for flipper ) and napkin dispenser.""""""

  """"" Ya, you should go back to college, oh yes online of course we wouldn't to stumble anyone--- you can leave some tracts around school when you do actually have to step on campus and claim to have spent those 5 hours out in FS!""""

  """" Well yes Brother Barely 19, it is true this newest generation teaching is the 6th, yes many others have remarked about the 'Emperor's New Clothing', you are not alone in your thinking but of course to speak about it publically would be apostasy so we just have to 'wait on Jehovah' or for somebody on the GB too die""""

  """" What is that Sister 18, masturbation wrong....... oh honey don't worry about that you are a girl and masturbation is strictly a boy thing.....remember Onan""""

  """ Yes Timmy the Bible does say their is one mediator, but the WTS says the mediator is for the anointed only......yes yes I agree there is no evidence to draw such a conclusion but until you are an adult and living on your own you will have obey your parents who agree with the WTS... maybe the interpretation will change.....but of course if it does then why would we need the FDS?.....why don't you think about that for a week and write me a nice essay!"""
• 

  EmptyInside

  I like how you think Yknot. But, I know the time is fast approaching when this fader is going to completely fade out.

  I've given up so much for this religion already. But, all these changes are easier said then done.

  Sometimes, I feel I have it all figured out, and then, other times I feel lost.

  Maybe I just need a vacation. That would be a nice start anyway. And I won't tell anyone when I'm coming back, so they won't expect me at the meetings for awhile.
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  AudeSapere

  I won't tell anyone when I'm coming back, so they won't expect me at the meetings for awhile.

  There you go!

  Along those lines, is there another congregation near you or one that meets in your same hall? Switch it up a bit and attend a couple of meetings at those places. Mix it up a bit. Miss a couple of meetings. Make more rounds. Take another vacation. Miss more meetings.

  Noone will be able to keep track of you. When asked where you were, you can honestly say "My schedule has changed up a bit so I've been attending some meetings at Xyz and Abc cong."

  -Aude.
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  jamiebowers

  Maybe I just need a vacation. That would be a nice start anyway. And I won't tell anyone when I'm coming back, so they won't expect me at the meetings for awhile.

  I was thinking maybe you might consider just relocating all together. You're young and single and getting away from the nosey people you've mentioned in your posts will do you good. Just think, your personal life can be just that, personal! Seriously, there are a few exjws on this board who own companies that may need your skill set. If you don't know who they are, pm me for a few suggestions. I don't know if they're hiring right now, but it wouldn't hurt to put a few irons in the fire.
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  I quit!

  I have to agree with Moshe fading equals lying. Telling a lie is one thing but living a lie will eat away at you. If you decide to live a lie indefinately then don't be surprised when you are depressed and have health problems. I realize that some people feel they have to do it for a while but if you decide to live your life that way indefinately then be prepared to accept the consquences of your decision. Why seek about the approval of those who only love the image they have of you rather that who you really are? To keep their approval you'll spend the rest of your life performing for them.
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  jwfacts

  I went through the same thing and eventually went out of my way to be d/f. My family never forgave me for not just fading, but they will never understand the pressure caused by fading and the feeling of living a double life.

  I saw a documentary on a small cult the other day and it was very interesting to see one of the ladies going through a very traumatic struggle on trying to leave. She kept saying that it was the Devil that was influencing her against the cult leader and he had warned her that the Devil would deceive her if she ever tried to leave. It as a dramatic example of how insidious cults can be on a persons thinking ability. The WTS is not such an out there cult as some of these small communes, but it does highlight how people can be manipulated. If you watch the affect of religious thinking on other groups it will help you understand what you are going through, and that it is just normal.