Watching them FADE in an other way (page 3)

Hadit

That is so sad - I feel for both of you. It's very hard to see our parents change in front of our eyes. I wish you both continued strength.

cantleave

Sorry about your father Darth, it is tragedy to see someone you love be inflicted with such despicable condition.

serenitynow!

I recommend turmeric capsules.

Really? How do they benefit dementia? I know that topically turmeric is good for the skin. If it can help with dementia I'll go get me some right now!

"To the Memorial. Do you remember why we go to the Memorial grandma?" She thought for a moment and then said "Um....to remember those that died in the War?" I nearly burst out laughing but I thought 'okay, that's the last time we're doing this!"

Mary people with dementia can just make you die laughing! They just get to a point where they may say anything. I took my grandma to a restaurant and a big woman with an enormous behind walked past our table. My grandma pointed at her and blurted out, "look at her butt!" and just busted out laughing till tears were running down her cheeks. It was hilarious but I was like "OMG, I hope this lady does not try to slap grandma!" You gotta try to find the humor in it.

Darth plaugeis

Thank you all again for the support. I haven't had time to sit and....... well have a good cry yet.

One of my job duties was Maintaining Cemeteries, so I have buried thousands of people I knew... friends, relatives, children and Old friends. Dad would be at many of the Funerals directing traffic then hang out with us while the graveside service was being held. We would comment on many we knew and what the families had to go Thur and how sad it was for them. We would always joke and say....... that'll be us one day, you never know what life will throw at you. The saddest Funerals were always when children or Old Friends past away. Many of the Old Friends passed having this condition and we would comment how quick their minds went. I think of these times and it might sound sick...... but we openly talked about tragic things in family life and saw the right and wrong way to treat those with this condition.

I am very thankful he is more like a child, than be Violent and yelling hitting spitting throwing things. He is very Polite to all the nurses and Dr's and patients. And still tries to make jokes.

I am glad we did have time to WORK Together and see MANY Tragedies because we had the time to talk about what could happen.... and this was one of them.

Thank You again everyone.... your responses have reached me deeply. Thanks again

Mary

serenity now asked: Really? How do they [tumeric capsules] benefit dementia? I know that topically turmeric is good for the skin. If it can help with dementia I'll go get me some right now!

There are actually a number of supplements that can help. Here is an article outlining many supplements that have been studied for Alzheimers

no more kool aid

How sad for you Dad and his family. I have worked with many demented/ alzheimer's patients in my career. I was taking care of an demented patient the other day and she thought her son was her dad and that I was her mom while I was proving her care (which was a bit painful) she held he son's hand and said " daddy why do you let mama hurt me" she was sobbing softly. Then when I was done we got her all comfortable covered her with a warm blanket and tried to distract her from the fact that she's in the hospital had an IV etc. Then she wanted me to sit with her as she rubbed my arm and called me mama. It occurred to me in that moment she forgot what just happened and really couldn't anticipate the future, but for those few minutes she was comforted and smiling. My point is, to live in the moment with your dad, maybe he liked petting a dog, talking about cases he worked on or eating a hot fudge sundae. Maybe he can still enjoy these few glimpses of his former self even if just for a moment. I am so sorry for your loss. NMKA

Morbidzbaby

I work on the Alzheimer's & Dementia unit at my nursing home. I know all too well the heartbreak of watching them slowly spiral downward. Alzheimer's isn't just a disease of the memory... They revert to being babies again. And it IS so sad. Fortunately, there are medications to help, but they don't always work. Almost all of my residents are on Trazodone along with a host of other meds.

I'm so sorry you have to witness this, dear Darth. As his son, you can help your dad in so many ways. Visit with him often, even though it's painful for you. I have one resident (incidently, she is/was a JW and I remember her from when I was a teen) who hadn't seen her son in 20 years and when he came to visit a few months ago, she knew who he was. She sees me all the time, but just recently she looked me in the eyes and said "I remember you...not from yesterday or anything, but I feel like I knew you a long time ago...your face...it's so familiar to me." I almost cried...I've been working there almost a year and she FINALLY realized she knew me before. I explained who I was and who she had studied with (she doesn't even remember anything about the cult except the people because she converted very late in life). It clicked, and for 5 minutes, she knew me. It was a small victory.

There are certain ways to react to those with Alzheimer's and dementia. Sometimes, you have to lie. I had one man, 100 years old, get out of bed in the middle of the night to "check on the potatoes". This man DOES NOT WALK...yet he got out of bed and was kneeling at his bedside lol. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I have to go downstairs and check on the potatoes!"...so I fibbed and told him I already checked on them, they were fine, and he should go back to bed. Sometimes they can be SO funny.

Another woman always looks at my fingernails (I get them done) and tells me whether she likes the color I picked or not. Mostly, not lol. So a few weeks ago she told me to do them in pink...so I did! When I came back, I showed her that I had gotten a french manicure but had the tips done in pink with silver glitter. She looked at them, wrinkled her nose and said "I don't like that". I said "You told me to do them in pink and I did!" and she replied "Well, I don't like the two-tone thing..."... Less than a minute later, she looked at my hands, her eyes lit up and she said "OH! Let me see your fingernails!"...and when I did, she looked at them and said "Oh, that's SO PRETTY! I like that!!" lol!! Can't wait to see what she says when I show her them this weekend! lol

While this disease is very difficult to deal with, especially when it's ravaging someone you love, try to focus on their lucid moments. And even if they are few and far between, remember...your dad is STILL in there!! You'll see him every once in awhile when you least expect it... He still loves you, even if he can't properly express it.

This poem is hanging up in our nurse's bathroom...I read it every time I am in there because it serves as a reminder to me when I start getting discouraged with my job and I'm tired from (some days are really really trying!). Please take the time to read it... you may need tissues, but I think it will help you a lot. http://www.zarcrom.com/users/yeartorem/ADpoetry/patientsprayer.html

If you want to vent, need a listening ear from someone with experience, please feel free.

darth frosty

Something else we have in common Lord Plaugeis, My mother just died this past January after having dementia for 5 years. It is hard to see someone who was such a strong force in your life reduced to a mere shell of themselves.

Stay strong my friend.

Darth plaugeis

One thing I know he still has is...... Hates CHURCHES!.. I probably had something to do with that since He NEVER LIKED Jw's or any church. We became Jw's ... he stayed home and laughed everytime we came home from a meeting. HaTED IT THEN..... I get IT NOW! Funny Guy he Knew!

They brought him to a service Sunday and he relizes what it is and say" OH NO". Nurse I can go to my room right? Yes ..... Thank God he told me he said.

DeathSentry

Was he one of those racist abusive cops or one who really worked with and respected the community?

Watching them FADE in an other way

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