How many women does it take to screw in a lightbul

by Tatiana 25 Replies latest social humour

• 

  teejay

  Good evening, Focus!

  How many of the same kind of joke has to be told before it's no longer a joke? I don't know - do you? Probably just a few.

  "A few" doesn't mean 287 variations of the same 'joke.'

  By your link you implied there was overkill in my response...

  Liked that link, huh!? A clever touch, I thought.

  "Implied"? I see you take a hint well. Good. Yes, what you posted could certainly be described as, well... uh... "overkill," but you knew that already, yes?

  Well - barring any near duplicates that crept in - I would say that most of the jokes in the list I posted are not of the same "kind" as any other from the list. They'd each qualify for a place in the Ark, in jW-speak.

  They weren't all the same? I'll have to take your word for it since I didn't read more than three of them. Besides, I thought the ark told of two of each (seven of some) not 287. I'll double check. Genesis, that is. Lot shorter.

  Hint: Because the jokes start with much the same question does not at all mean they are of the same "kind".

  (see above)

  The essence (the bit that makes one laugh - do you laugh?) of most of those jokes is different.

  No, the essence in each of the 287 is the same. Do I laugh? Only when something's funny. Even then, the funniest joke (or premise) isn't much funny after hearing it 800 times.

  Sure, almost all target some class or group of people. But so do most jokes. That is human nature.

  They were all about light bulbs, I thought. Go figure.

  I hope you can understand things better now, teejay.

  I do. You were most helpful. Most enlightening. Thank you.

  Peace,
  tj
• 

  Focus

  teejay wrote:

  They weren't all the same? I'll have to take your word for it since I didn't read more than three of them.

  I am sorry that you have proven yourself to be somewhat lacking in both caution and sense.

  You concluded they were all the same without reading more than three of them.

  Brilliant Work!!! A well-honed JW trait, that - knowing the contents of books and articles without actually reading them.

  "I don't need to read such "spiritual pornography". I just know it is wrong!"

  Liked that link, huh!? A clever touch, I thought.

  No, what gave you either of those ideas? I neither liked it or disliked it, nor was it clever. I see you cut out my retort:
  ( http://groups.google.com/groups?as_q=don%27t%20suffer%20fools%20gladly Class)

  They were all about light bulbs, I thought. Go figure.

  I do not need to go figure. Your reasoning powers, which yield the "answer"; that as all the jokes are about light bulbs, they must pretty much be all the same kind/essence of joke, is illuminating enough to preclude any need for figuring.....

  I do not need a camp-follower, by the way... there is no vacancy, and never will be. Sorry to disappoint. But here's a crumb:
  How many teejays does it take to change two light bulbs?

  --
  Focus
  (Enlightened Class)
• 

  teejay

  Hello again, Focus,

  I must tell you, this is quite fun. Are you having as much fun as I am? I hope so. Now... where were we?

  I am sorry that you have proven yourself to be somewhat lacking in both caution and sense.

  Again, I'll just have to take your word for that. Not upset or anything are you?

  Brilliant Work!!! A well-honed JW trait, that - knowing the contents of books and articles without actually reading them.

  Here you seem to be making a wild and wholly unfounded assumption. The reason I didn't read your 'jokes' is because I didn't *want* to read them. I doubt anyone else has, either. I mean... after three I kinda sorta figured where you were going with the other 284, k? Beyond that, I'm fairly certain that I didn't miss anything of consequence. Could you give us a brief synopsis? Thanks.

  No, what gave you either of those ideas? I neither liked it or disliked it, nor was it clever.

  You didn't like it? What gave me the idea? Must've been when you imitated it. You did imitate, yes? "Imitation is the sincerest..." and all that. Come on!! Admit it, man!! It's okay. G' head... you liked it. I know you did. Gotcha!

  I do not need to go figure. Your reasoning powers, which yield the "answer"; that as all the jokes are about light bulbs, they must pretty much be all the same kind/essence of joke, is illuminating enough to preclude any need for figuring.....

  Right.

  I do not need a camp-follower, by the way... there is no vacancy, and never will be.

  What makes you think I was 'up' for the position? No matter... I'm sure it's a worthwhile position. No vacancy? A pity. Are you sure there's no room for one more "camp-follower" (whatever THAT is)? Not ONE?!! Oh, well... such is life. You take life's ups and downs and struggle on. That's *my* goal. *DO* let me know when there's an opening, won't you? I'll ask around.

  Peace,
  tj
• 

  Beans

  Sounds like your a W I F E
  Washing
  Ironing
  Fucking
  Etc:

  If you stick to these simple principals then nothing can go wrong and that bulb will get changed by the right family member!
• 

  Tatiana

  Hi Beans.....actually, I don't like the way "wife" is spelled. The "f**king" should be at the top!!!

  This is an actual, word-for-word extract from a Home Economics
  textbook, printed in the early 60s.
  
  
  The Good Wives Guide (ahhh, only in a perfect world!)
  
  Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a
  delicious meal ready on time for his return home from work.
  This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about
  him and are concerned about his needs.
  
  Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good
  meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the
  warm welcome needed. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you
  will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your
  make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.
  
  He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and
  a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a
  lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
  
  Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of
  the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up
  schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and the run a dust cloth over the
  tables.
  
  Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has
  reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too.
  After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense
  personal satisfaction.
  
  Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

  Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

  Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but
  the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first,
  remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

  Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you.
  Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his
  very real need to be at home and relax.
  
  Your goal:
  
  Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
  
  Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's
  late home for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this
  as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
  
  Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or
  have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm
  drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his
  shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house
  and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and
  truthfulness.

  April
  I was angry with my friend; I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe; I told it not, my wrath did grow. (William Blake, A Poison Tree)
  http://www.network54.com/Forum/171905
• 

  Faraon

  How many Jehova's Witnesses are needed to screw a light bulb
  Answer: it cannot be determined in case it is young. Pedophilia perpetrators are not brought to light.

  How many Jehova's Witnesses are needed to change a light bulb
  Answer: Only one, but bulb must be changed frequently due to burnout caused by constant on-off switching, and changes in brightness.

  Answer: Number cannot be determined, but job will be done as it has the backing of the UN, as one of its organizations.

  JRP
  Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
  Nietzsche