The way they talk to the R&F is the whole point. They don't want to encourage independence, self-esteem or maturity. If they encouraged any of that then they would have no members. They want to keep you down and feeling inadequate to take care of yourself and your own life.
They stunt the natural progression of life by keeping people in a dependent childlike state. This causes all sorts of cognitive dissonance, mental and emotional distress and physical illness both chronic and acute.
What they do is evil. It's a power trip of great proportions.