I'm so sorry!
Another marriage lost at the hands of the JWs
by marriedtojw 44 Replies latest members private
-
-
jamiebowers
Something else I want to tell you. Instead of thinking about how much pain your wife is causing you now, think about what you want from the next relationship you will have. I can't imagine leaving my dear husband in an empty house. Although I'm certain he would survive without me, it hurts me to think of him not having me to cook his meals, ask how his day was, fold his clothes how he likes, and other "wifely" duties. He told me just recently that the whole shitty world melts away as soon as he hits our driveway. He can't wait to get home and hear me say my standard, "How was your day? Supper will be ready in a few hours"...etc. Everyone deserves to have their home be their sanctuary. Think about what type of woman will make that for you.
-
marriedtojw
it hurts me to think of him not having me to cook his meals, ask how his day was, fold his clothes how he likes, and other "wifely" duties.
That would have been nice.. my days were more like coming home to an empty house every night.. eventually at night some time her and the kids would come home, I was lucky if she came to bed or just slept on the couch... i usually had to cook for myself or get fast food on the way home.. but mostly I didn't eat dinner because I felt bad getting food by myself when she wasn't home.. she would wash my clothes but I usually had to find them in a pile somewhere in the living room or in the bedroom pull them out and iron them for work...She usually took the kids with her parents to places that she should have been going with me... the house was never clean... i could go on.. but when I brought up that I work my ass off to provide for her... she would say "you have to do that, so stop throwing it in my face"
fool me once shame on you.. fool me twice shame on me...
-
marriedtojw
New revelation in the case... I happened to go to the same gas station has her father this morning.. and confronted him about the baby.. it turns out she had the baby and never told me.... I missed the birth of my son, don't know his name, how much he weighs anything. On top of that he started making claims that I hit and pushed my wife which never happened... and she even told the counselor in our marriage counseling sessions that I never put hands on her.... but he maintains that she's wouldn't lie to him so it must be true....
I'm going crazy.. I have an appointment with a lawyer today and am trying to get a meeting with an elder at one of the local kingdom halls when they get in....
-
Libelle
OH, I"m so very sorry... Everyone else here has good advice. I"m just here as a fellow UBM offering my support. Take care of yourself, while you're at it.
-
jamiebowers
it turns out she had the baby and never told me.... I missed the birth of my son, don't know his name, how much he weighs anything. On top of that he started making claims that I hit and pushed my wife which never happened... and she even told the counselor in our marriage counseling sessions that I never put hands on her.... but he maintains that she's wouldn't lie to him so it must be true....
GAWD, that's just awful. Make sure you have that marriage counselor on speed dial, because it looks your future exwife is playing hardball.
-
GLTirebiter
Get this documented! Order a copy of the birth certificate from the county courthouse (or where ever they keep the records where you live). Definitely tell your lawyer about what happened in the counseling session, and give him the counselor's name and number. Stand up and defend yourself, without stooping to her level--no matter how much she provokes you.
I think she may be trying to make you lose control. Don't fall for that, walk away from intimidation, no matter how hard it is.
-
etna
marriedto jw,
I feel for you terribly, there is alot of good advice given to you here. Listen to flipper about not bagging your ex(even if she deserves it).
My 2nd wife left me 4 years ago, and I had no idea at the time why. She had an A V O against me after a while(without proof and my first wife and I are good friends and she was shocked at the avo), she can get it very easily. I refuse to talk to her ever again and we have 2 children 10years old and 8 years old. They are in another state (thats why she needed the avo). I have constantly been on the phone and see the boys at least 10 times a year, but it was a real shitfight. We had to have mediation before court, but she didn't want to have it so I was allowed to get parenting orders from the court so I had access to the boys (she used excuses like they are with their friends etc). Once you have court orders she has to abide by them or she will be in trouble. As everyone has said, write evrything down, keep a diary or journal, it will not only help for you to remember things but it will help you from storing it in your head and going crazy.
Good luck and I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Etna
-
garyneal
Married,
I went through some similar crap from my 'baby's mama' back when it all went down with her. She use to try to say all kinds of crap about me and falsely accuse me of things I did not do. It was hard to deal with and unfortunately women seem to have the upper hand over men when it comes to kids but don't lose heart. Your wife's father may believe his daughter but the judge will not, especially if your marriage counselor can validate your position.
Your wife will learn real fast how stupid and ignorant she will look to the judge just as my baby's mama did. The child support agency would not work too much in favor of her due to her insistance on not wanting to get a job (they looked down on that). My baby's mama tried to make it impossible for me to take our son to church or any house of worship on my weekends with him, the mediator shot that down. Eventually, she GREW UP and realized that all these games she was playing was not helping her and was making her look like an idiot to everyone including her new husband, our son, the people IN MY FAMILY who actually took her side on things, her mom and dad, etc..
The same will happen with your wife. She will not be able to keep up this charade forever and will eventually look like a real fool to everyone. Her family will see it, though they will never admit it. Frankly, I predict that this chick will never become a baptized Jehovah's Witness because she looks like the type who just wants to do things her way regardless of what others think.
Your kids will see too the difference between you and her. My son sees the difference. Sometimes, he would tell me how his mom is quick to anger over seemingly simple and silly stuff. When my wife and I was returning him home from our trip to Atlanta, he got so concerned over how his mom would react over him losing a stylus for his Nintendo DS. A freaking stylus. I kept asking him if he was overreacting but he kept insisting that his mom would get real mad at him for it. Fortunately, we found it for him by the time he got home but that really made me realize how crazy that woman was (and apparently still is).
I wish you all the best, you have my number, feel free to call me if you need any encouragement.
-
daringhart13
Wow....is this her idea of a quiet and mild spirit? winning you over without a word?
Just more proof of the Prov. 31 JW sister in action.........
Sorry man..... however, this is your chance to run.