Avoiding the Meeting

by brotherdan 70 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  serenitynow!

  "bumpin uglies"

  I've heard that before, I think on some cable tv show or something.
• 

  garyneal

  I sympathize with you, truthseeker. I too had HORRIBLE social anxiety at the meetings. I felt like people were looking at me and judging me the entire time.

  Too bad I cannot go to the meetings with you, BrotherDan. They can instead look at me and judge me, especially if I bring my daughter who likes to play in the area outside the meeting room.
• 

  garyneal

  Poor BrotherDan, he brought that heathenous, WORLDLY man to the meetings with him. He must be embarrassed.

  I wonder if that is what they think of my wife.
• 

  jam

  The problem you have is getting around Heb.10;25 (not neglect to meet togather). A

  red flag goes up when you miss those meetings. Maybe you can tell her, the more I go to the meetings

  the futher I get from Jehovah. I need some time to get closer to Jehovah some personnel study.

  I have A problem understanding the generation changes, for example. How can I teach when I

  do not understand what Iam teaching, the meetings are not doing it for me. I love Jehovah and

  Iam sure if I ask him he will help me to understand, and help me too appreciate the meetings.

  But for now it.s between me and Jehovah.
• 

  AGuest

  Okay, again, I must ask that someone enlighten me (may you all have peace!)... and please forgive my... ummmm... appearance of being a bit obtuse, but I really don't GET it. I have read posts that give me the impression that you, dear brotherdan, are a man of faith, indeed, perhaps one that claims a union with Christ on some level (I am not totally positive, so please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). At a minimum, one who has some understanding of earthling man's potential relationship with God and/or Christ (again, correct me if I'm wrong).

  If that is not true, then please, forgive me, and disregard this entire response. If it IS true, however, then explain to me, please, if you will:

  1. How such one can have greater love for wife, father, mother, son, daughter... ANYONE... than for the Christ? Again, I am not speaking of those who do NOT claim to have such a relationship or such love...

  2. Christ is recorded to have said he came to put, NOT peace... but a sword... between a man... and those he "loves"...

  3. "THEY" will stand up to YOU... for THEIR "faith". Are we not supposed to do the same? Indeed, are we not supposed to do GREATER?

  4. What profit a man if he gains the whole world... indeed, gains his wife... but loses his soul?

  5. Who will save your wife from "them"... if not YOU?

  I'm sorry. I am NOT trying to make anyone feel bad or spiritually inferior, or anything of that nature. I am just truly confused. I TRULY do not understand this "fear" of losing... spouse, child, parent, friends, what have you... WITH a claim of belonging to, following, listening to, being led by, etc., Christ. How can it BE? How CAN you have it both ways? Where do folks GET this... falsity... from... in light of what is even written (if you don't actually have it on your heart)?

  Is it not all REFUSE... outside of gaining the Christ? What, to you, then, is INTEGRITY???

  Again, I am not trying to find fault. People here chide me all the time for what I profess, including what I hear and see... and by means of whom. And many wonder, "why her, not me?" But dears ones, if I can't say anything else that is true, anything else about myself and/or my life, I CAN say... my LOYALTY... is NOT divided... between God and Christ... and those others who I may love. There is NO competition. NO question. They can give me such ones back, even if such loved ones die. I can ask forgiveness... for myself and such loved ones. But those loved ones... can't give ME... or themselves life.

  And no, this is NOT like the WTBTS' teaching that I choose "Jehovah" over family. Not at all. The Most Holy One of Israel, JAH of Armies, would not ASK you to choose. It is THEY... who ask you to do so. All you are simply doing is telling them the TRUTH... that you can no longer serve the "god" THEY serve. You still love them, yes, and would do ANYTHING for them... except that. Because that is the one thing you CANNOT do.

  Think of it: what would have happened if Adham had said to Eve, "I am really sorry you ate from that tree. And I DO truly love you. TRULY. BUT... I can't eat from it with you. I won't."

  I am just confused: if you KNOW your loved one is following a false prophet, is it really love to go along WITH them... for the "sake"... of "peace"? Tell me, please, where is the love in THAT?

  Okay, come on... hit me with it, all those who wish to take offense. I meant none and please do not assume that I "don't understand" what it's like. Because I do. I absolutely do. I also understand that our Lord said that if anyone wanted to be HIS disciple, that such one is to pick up their TORTURE pole... and follow after HIM. He NEVER promised us a rose garden in this life - indeed, he all but guaranteed us that we would lose those we love... that our enemies would be members of our OWN households. Do we not BELIEVE him in that? Then how can we believe him in any other matter?

  Folks say they want to hear and see. I say... nahhhh... not really. Not if it comes with some "torture." And I'm not advocating suffering, not at all. I just don't get how some of us are willing to do almost anything... even lie... not only TO those we, but ON those we love... to avoid it.

  Just my $0.02 cents... for whatever it's worth.

  Again, I do bid you all peace, truly.

  A slave of Christ,

  SA
• 

  tec

  Shelby, I understand what you're saying - completely, and I don't think you were offensive in your post at all. I also agree with you. I know I couldn't live that kind of a lie for very long, regardless of the consequences - it would eat me up inside. Until one day, even leaving and losing family would be easier than staying and living and even supporting (if only on the surface) a lie.

  But I also understand someone staying in to try and help their spouse or child get out also - who is just as brainwashed as they once were - perhaps even BECAUSE they once were - and guilt is a strong motivator. But if staying is done out of love, then that's a lot different than if it's done out of cowardice. I think that can only be a matter between the person and Christ.

  The advice I would give myself would be to do the right thing and live in truth- without worrying about the countless variables and/or losses- because those freeze people from doing the right thing to begin with.

  I'm also a hypocrite because I lied to my husband today. Over a silly thing - and all because I didn't want him to get mad at me OVER that silly little thing. But I hate lying, and its going to bother me until I tell him what I did. So I don't exactly have any right to be giving advice tonight.

  Tammy
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  no one

  You don't have to fake explosive diarrhea. You can create it anytime you want. When you come home after work on a meeting night, drink several glasses of heavily salted water. Works in 1 to 3 hours depending on your digestive system and lasts for several hours. She'll be unable to say you're faking it.
• 

  no one

  Warning!!! Do NOT load yourself up on salt water at work if you have a long commute or if there is a risk of being stuck in traffic. Otherwise you'll miss the meeting cuz you're scrubbing the drivers seat in you car.

  Once this kicks in, you don't dare sneeze, cough, or fart without being firmly planted on the loo.
• 

  Black Sheep

  Here's another option,

  Don't avoid it.

  Once you let the cat out of the bag that you are a rabid Apostate, your chances of having sensible conversations with them ends.

  If you want a chance of getting them out, it is easier to nudge them towards the door from the inside than to rip them out from the outside.

  You want them to tell you they are in a cult. It just doesn't work the other way around.

  Use the time you have 'in good standing' to do your homework on how cults work, and educate yourself on how to extract them.
• 

  new light

  I do not agree with living a lie, but I do understand wanting to stay married, so...

  You will lose face and probably appear physically weak, but this will get you out of meetings.

  Rub some pepper into your face or smoke a ton of reefer before you enter the KH. I guess you could just rub your eyes a lot in the bathroom. The point is to look like you are severely allergic to something in the building and cannot physically tolerate being inside.

  This should have you attending by phone line if your congo is so equipped, even better if it is not, which means you never have to go to that particular KH again and you remain a JW in "good standing".

  Maybe attend your last few meetings with a dust mask on to appear to be giving it a massive effort, but, in the end, your imperfect body wins and you long for the new system when you will not have these horrible allergies.

  I have seen this work with a sister who almost never went to a meeting, yet was well respected and viewed as a saint for the slightest effort.