I was never DF'ed, I wasn't abused, I never lost a loved one to the ban on blood

by OnTheWayOut 75 Replies latest jw friends

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  OnTheWayOut

  I am also sure that if I waited long enough, someone would call this thread irony. I am not "complaining" about others' comments toward me being attacks and telling people to get over it when I attack them. Attack all you want. I just wanted to hear from others on how they feel about the subject of being accused of carrying their bitterness.

  I get the irony of asking people to get over themselves while admitting that I (and many others) are not getting over our past.

  It just seemed that this needed to be said. I can see from the initial comments that many agree.

  Cantleave, good point- "...not bitter, just disappointed."

  Ziddina, thanks. Despite your completely different circumstances, it seems you have a "good" attitude about your "bad" attitude.

  AK-Jeff, yes. It is something that just gets to us sometimes and other times it isn't in our minds. I am sure that as time goes on, it will effect me less and less.

  BrotherDan, I came out by doctrine. But I get the "lack of love" thing too. It's like JW's are the world's biggest hypocrites.

  Sherah, thanks. That's my situation, but even those that don't have family inside might hold on to feelings for their own reasons.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Lozhasleft, hugs back.

  Just n, great minds think alike. (self-agrandizing pat on the back)

  believingxjw, again- great minds think alike. (putting on a bigger hat for my bigger head)
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  leavingwt

  I hear you. I was treated quite well, by the JW's, overall. I left because I discovered it wasn't true.

  However, make no mistake, we were all abused in one way or another. For many, the abuse continues, after their exit.
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  tec

  I always thought you were a conscientious poster, OTWO, and you have always been kind to me. Recent things seem to have escalated beyond what I thought about you. But I did always think you were somewhat bitter based on this comment (and I'm paraphrasing, so forgive me):

  If God couldn't bother to intercede when I needed him to and tell me not to get involved with a dangerous mind-control cult, then I don't need him.

  Am I mixing you up with someone else? Or perhaps I didn't misunderstand that you said this, but misunderstood what you meant by this? I'm not trying to call you out or anything, but I did form somewhat of an understanding about you (as much as I can here anyway), based on what must have felt like a betrayal from God.

  Tammy
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  VampireDCLXV

  I wasn't burned like so many of the others here but I'm dealing with the aftermath of just being a born-in. It was congregational apathy, rumors and whispers behind my back, the depression and paranoia it all created in my mind that drove me out. Not just in my home congo but a few others I've visited. No DF here, but I'm sure that If I fessed up to ANYTHING at all, even the smallest thing, I would have been rail-roaded, simply because I'm 'different'. Learning about the factual errors in the doctrine dogma and organizational corruption were just the cherries on top.

  V665
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  OnTheWayOut

  LWT, yes we were all abused somehow. That's part of what I am saying. You all are such smart people.

  tec, that's pretty close. But the "betrayal from God" part is behind me now that I realize that Yahweh of the Bible doesn't exist.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Had to step away. Adding to my last thought, tec- I may still use that argument. I may have some bitterness lingering. I recognize that the God of the Bible isn't there to prevent me from getting into a dangerous mind-control-cult, but others don't, so I may still use the argument. I can't explain it better than that- I am not as bitter as I was, but I have some of it.

  Vampire, I carry that same load- I must keep quiet to avoid railroading. I just avoid the JW's altogether.
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  tec

  Adding to my last thought, tec- I may still use that argument. I may have some bitterness lingering. I recognize that the God of the Bible isn't there to prevent me from getting into a dangerous mind-control-cult, but others don't, so I may still use the argument. I can't explain it better than that- I am not as bitter as I was, but I have some of it.

  I was pretty sure that was you; thanks for confirming. I realize it might not matter to where you are now, but there was a thread a while back that I kept trying to bump for you. The one that said Jesus did warn us - about the JW's and any other group that put themselves in his seat, and said 'there is the Christ' or the 'end is near'... etc. NOT to listen to them. I had hoped that maybe that would take care of some of the bitterness that you might have lingering (and of course, to be honest, I had hoped it might make you reconsider your stance or at least think about the starting point of why you stopped believing).

  I'm not a born-in, and I didn't listen anymore than you did - but He did warn us, and we didn't listen. We even kept a record of it in black and white. Funny that the very bible that JW's and other end of days cults take so literally to prove that they alone have the truth, actually says not to believe those same people.

  Understand that I do hope for strength and peace for you, OTWO, regardless of your faith.

  Tammy
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  OnTheWayOut

  tec, it may be right there in black-and-white, but just as the WTS will argue that it doesn't apply to them, I could apply that same "There is the Christ" thinking to AGuest and those that hear the voice of the Lord, then they will argue endlessly why it doesn't apply to them. (That's not the point of this thread, so I am not applying it and I don't need to hear the arguments.)

  Bitterness is not why I stopped believing in the God of the Bible. I was fully bitter and fully believing in Him. It was a proper examination of the Bible after a proper examination of the Watchtower that got me there. I could state the path of that education, but that's not the point of this thread either. But a warning in print that there would be many fakes out there is self-fulfilling like the JW's warning a new recruit that others will oppose their studying with JW's. Of course they will and of course there would be fakes out there. They are all fakes. That is not bitterness when I say that.

  I don't go around trying to bust up the faith of people in my daily life. But JWN is a place where these discussions/debates are appropriate. It's the internet and some feelings will get hurt. Thanks for caring, though.
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  Lady Lee

  It is a myth that everyone who comes out of the JWs was seriously damaged by them. Many people are born with a resilience that helps them get through anything with few serious scars. IN spite of the Watchtower Society their parents were able to instill in them enough life skills and sense of self so that when they left there isn't some huge trauma to deal with.

  I know that whenever I have stopped and listened to my gut feeling or intuition about what is happening in my life and then take action on it I am doing what is right for me. It is only when I ignore that intuition that I get into trouble.

  Even as a kid I knew that if I harbored hatred in my heart and mind I would only be hurting myself. The people who hurt me would never know how I felt. It wouldn't bother them at all even if they did know. So what was the point?

  Some of us just know this or can tune into it and use it. Whether we have experienced a lot of abuse or non isn't necessarily relative to the degree of trauma we experience later on. And while previous abuse can place us at higher risk for further abusive situations it still doesn't mean we can't survive it relatively intact.

  For those who need it, therapy and help is available and should be used. Certainly thoughts of suicide require more than a few pills and a time out until a person no longer is at immediate risk of committing suicide. Sadly too few professionals understand that