Things That Matter and Things That Don't

by AllTimeJeff 35 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Crisis of Conscience

  Excellent thread Jeff! Thank you!

  I think the area that many of us, who are in the struggle (including me), go wrong in is finding that balance - what matters and what doesn't.

  Especially if we are people pleasers, it can be very difficult to distinguish when we are thinking about OUR happiness, and not that of others. Thinking about yourself and your needs is not ALWAYS being selfish. And not focusing on the things that don't matter and that could affect your life negatively is definitely not selfish.

  The WTS would have you think the above to be a loose and permissive attitude. The funny thing is, at least on my behalf, once you put aside the silly thought that you CONTINUALLY have to put the interests of others, the interests of the kingdom (TM), etc., ahead of yours, then there is room to find true happiness, true contentment.

  Yes, I said TRUE. Though still a regular attendee of "the meetings" (TM), the cutback I have made on my "spiritual activities" (TM) has actually brought me peace I have never felt before. I no longer find myself trying to please the world in worthless endeavors, mainly the organization. And I am doing more of the things that I want to do and that make me happy.

  Thanks again for the food for thought, Jeff.

  CoC
• 

  Quando

  This is Great Jeff!

  Your posts over the years have always opened my eyes to seeing the real truth.

  THANKS!
• 

  AllTimeJeff

  There are catch phrases that the Governing Body uses to trip up their flock. Like "independent thinking." It is absolutely amazing to be out for 4 years now and to just shake my head when I realized as an elder I was telling people to blindly follow a bunch of delusional men. To give any critical thought would be prideful, satanic, and wrong. After all, when Satan engaged in independent thinking, that's when the whole mess at the Garden of Eden began.

  You remember that mess don't you? That the world became alienated from god because an inexperienced woman with a rocking body was tricked into eating a piece of fruit from a forbidden tree by a talking snake Satan used, then used her allure to get her husband to eat from it too. Since that time, we are all screwed.....

  Anyway, regardless of where you stand on using your brain, it's important to realize that everytime we do something for ourselves, it isn't selfish. I am constantly reminded of something else I learned, you can't really love others until you love yourself.

  What a profound thought. But it is so true. If you don't love yourself, at best, you will be a co dependent follower of others, or a cynical, not so nice to be around grump.

  If you love yourself, and have proper self esteem, you are then in possession of yourself, and can love others. That matters a lot!
• 

  leavingwt

  I particularly enjoyed this section, and it's worth repeating. . .

  IT MATTERS:
  That you want to be happy.

  DOESN'T MATTER:
  If your happiness comes from the approval of others or other things out of your control, even if its close friends or family or other circumstances. If you can't/won't be happy until people you can't control like you or approve of you, then schedule unahappiness in your calander for oh, the next several years until you decide they don't matter. Like my mom told me before she died "Be happy." It really is a decision to make. It's not as easy as that, but it is a decision to make, and we all can do it and at least start down that road.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I'm fully with you the "life-saving work" thing. Since my awakening, I fully looked at how it's just busy-work. Back in the day, it was even more fully emphasized because it made the printing conglomorate into a bigger entity. Nowadays, it's just a reason for the members to purchase the literature and to keep them in a tired frenzy for the religion.

  While it essentially doesn't matter how you got out of the cult, it matters in small ways how you got out because it effects relationships and self-esteem issues. But I get your point.

  As far as being right or wrong, I have learned that there are many "rights." So what's right for you is fine and dandy for you, don't sweat that it ain't right for/according to someone else.

  I made it to the end, thanks for posting.
• 

  cantleave

  Nice one Jeff.

  What matters to me is - Family .
• 

  Alligator Wisdom

  Better than great Jeff.

  I'm saving this one. You have a wonderful ability to put into words the feelings that I often have difficulty deciphering.

  Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)
• 

  leavingwt

  bttt
• 

  streets76

  ATJ, great and insightful reference to Moby Dick.
• 

  ziddina

  Ha, Ha!!! GREAT post, All Time Jeff!!!

  And I REALLY like the "Moby Dick" reference you threw in!!

  "Read Moby Dick and see if its worth a life dedicated to revenge. Did you figuratively lose a limb? ..."

  Reading your entire first post wasn't difficult - it was a breath of fresh air!

  Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I think they're spot-on!

  Zid

  [edited...]

  (sorry - just HAD to throw this in!! Zid )

  

  "Peter and Moby Dick stare each other down for the last bowl of cereal...."