Things That Matter and Things That Don't

by AllTimeJeff 35 Replies latest jw friends

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  FlyingHighNow

  I love the song Blow Away. Brings back way good memories.
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  AllTimeJeff

  I am fascinated by how my views of JW's have changed through the years, and their affects on me. That is what motivated me to write this.

  There is no doubt that when anyone first leaves, its going to be an adjustment. In addition, there is a lot of residual problems associated with living and thinking as a JW, and it causes many problems at work, in relationships, and how one views themselves.

  What matters when you first leave is simply to leave, and get your head right. That isn't an automatic guarantee. The GB likes to seize on as examples those who have problems if they are disfellowshipped or leave on their own, never admitting that they caused the problems in the first place.

  There is no substitute for what time will teach you, but hopefully, some perspective while you go through these adjustments can help a ton.
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  lifelong humanist

  AllTimeJeff

  I always read and enjoy your posts. when I look in on the forum. For me, your insightful take on things 'JW related' are well reasoned and politely, yet strongly put. One day I hope my JW wife will read comments like yours and accept the fundamental truth that they contain - that really 'matters' to me!

  I'm glad that you've been able to post again after an absence of some time.

  Off to Italy tomorrow for 8 days holiday and house hunting.

  lifelong humanist
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  Married to the Mob

  AllTimeJeff

  This is a brilliant post. Its human nature that sometimes we get lost in things that don't really matter, everyone is different but it is important to stay focused on the issues that really matter

  My observation is that because people have repressed so many true emotions, when they first come out it does take them a long time to lose the anger and reset what is really normaility and what really is important.

  Everyone is different and there is no set time for how long this takes.........
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  BluesBrother

  it obscures what is important and causes you to focus on what doesn't matter

  So very true......thinking back to the early days of my marriage, when we were still getting to know each other, we really needed weekend mornings to be together , but what did I do? ....I "had" to lead the group in Field Service, be seen as an example in The Ministry, and all for what? an hour or so at Not at Home doorbells - when the people in the flats above were no doubt ignoring me and doing to their wives what I should have been at home doing to mine!

  It is not so funny when your relationship suffers because you prefer to put on a brave face to the congregation...The concept of "The Truth" causes one to ignore what is really important because you really believe that the other is important - "To save yourself and those who listen to you", the rest can wait until the New World....except it never comes..

  Of course if we really viewed it as lifesaving to the householder we would have put more effort into it but I guess the important thing was to be having a part in it. Then we could report our time, be one of "Gods people " and look forward to Paradise........
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  GLTirebiter

  BTTT -- because it's worth another read, and the doctor is IN tonight!

  Jeff, thanks for saying this so well!