I'v got to tell something this! (page 2)

AMarie

Volataire:

I'll probably be unpopular for saying this, but, why don't you give it one last try, eh? I mean, I know there is alot of struggling in your marriage, but do you still love your wife? Yeah, we all go through tough times, but that's what being a husband/wife is about. Sticking together through the good AND bad times. Would it be worth it to loose a MARRIAGE over a little bit of lust for a piece of latin ass, which may not end up lasting anyhow?

I'm not in your shoes, so maybe my advice isn't the best, but if I were you, I would sit down with your wife and have a very serious, honest discussion about where things are going in your marriage, what you each plan to do in the future and if you guys can come to a compromise. On the other hand, if you/she aren't in love anymore or she tells you that it's over if you leave the "troof", leave her. The only compromise that you CAN'T make is that of your own values and what you find important. That's just my opinion.

I hope whatever choice you make brings you great happiness.

AMarie

teenyuck

Volataire-

You could be my father-if you had children. Same thing happened to my parents marriage. When my dad was DF'd it was effectivly over.

I agree with AMarie. Talk with her first. Lay it on the line. You owe her that honesty. As AMarie noted, if you agree you are not in love, call it quits. I, too, hope your future turns brighter, whatever direction it takes.

Let us know.

PS-Why the need to talk with the elders? If do you get divorced, the first time you admit you slept with someone (will your wife ask you to keep her updated?) or you get remarried, your wife becomes "scripturally" free to marry. The key is whether or not you feel you owe her this. My opinion is do not talk with them. That is a witch hunt waiting to happen.

Martini

Volataire,

Hey, who says you can't have the best of both world's?
Your probably going to need a good wife, one that will do all those menial tasks..you know! Now if you can get away with a little mistress on the side , well hey thats a package deal you cannot beat!

It is said:
"Men want one thing from every woman,women want everything from one man."...and that's just the way it goes.

Martini
do-it

voltaire

Amarie,

I feel so disenchanted/disillusioned with my wife. If she would have admitted to me that there is some room for doubt, I would have felt so much better. She really seems to believe that every last word is true. It drives me crazy. I had to reason with her a long time about why she should explain my situation to doctors should I need a blood transfusion. And in the end, even tho' she gave in ( reluctantly) I don't believe her. At least I should say I don't really trust her on that point. I really don't feel much of anything for her anymore, I've reached the point where I feel that only one of us can be happy, never both at the same time.

Martini,

Naughty, naughty. Actually, I really want to have a family. Latins love kids and families. It's a nice match.

Puffsrule,

Why talk to the elders? I could be evasive, but I feel an overpowering urge to be candid, to lay it all on the line. Also, I think it will be the final opportunity for my wife to show where she stands. I'll be able to leave with a clean conscience.

Prisca

voltaire,

You probably won't like what I'm going to say, but I'll say it anyway.

When you married your wife, you were both JWs, correct? So when she married you, she was expecting she was marrying a man who would be her spiritual head and serve Jehovah with her forever. And on your wedding day, you had promised to be beside her forever, "til death do us part" so to speak?

And now you have left the JWs, but your wife has decided to stay.

In that case, you owe her a really big explanation for why you left, and how you want to live a happy life. If she gets upset with you, I really can't blame her. She has lost the man she married. And now this man who promised to be forever with her, has decided he wants a bit of Latin action.

I'm glad you don't have any kids yet. They dont need screwed up parents and screwed up lives.

AMarie

Voltaire:

Even though it isn't "scripturally" right to leave your wife for another woman, do what you feel is best for you, I guess.

My father and mother were happily married until my mother became a JW. Shortly after, they divorced, which always made me angry. I felt like my dad walked out on my mother at the first sign of trouble and that if he really loved her, he would have stuck by her and let her follow her heart.

It wasn't until after I left the JW religion that I understood my father's point of view. If I were him, I wouldn't have stayed with a woman who was always pushing the bible on him and putting his children in danger by not allowing them to accept blood. So I guess I understand where you are coming from.

It sounds to me like you've already made up your mind. Be decisive and take action. Don't beat around the bush with your wife if you really don't love her anymore. I really hope it all works out very well for you.

AMarie

TweetieBird

Be honest with your wife. It's much better to hurt her with the truth than with a lie. She will probably be relieved, now she can find a witness that believes it's the truth.

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"

indireneed

This is a tough situation, and one in which I have a few parallels with my life. My wife and I married, and then she became a JW, probably because of many random, very significant reasons.

Anyway, the question is, is it worth giving up your wife for another woman. In reality, the important thing to remember is that every relationship, and I mean every relationship, will have troubles. Big troubles, little troubles, medium troubles. There will always be a catch, as well as good points.

So, it's not an easy decision. I love my wife - I don't love her JW tendencies now, but I love her. Will she change? Maybe, maybe not. Will I change? Yup. Should we break up? Maybe, maybe not.

In truth, you have to look at your life from more than one angle. Right now, it seems foolish to live with your wife while you've got the cutie on your arm. But what about when you find that your lives are completely different - The Latin and US societies are as different as Protestants and JWs. There will be problems. There will be compromises.

Don't give up your wife because you want to screw around. Give up your wife because you have to. Look at what you want, what you have to gain, and what you have to lose.

If it's over, end it. If there is a chance, don't count a bird in the bush as given unless you know everything everthing.

Adonai438

I'll have to come back with the actual scripture refences later but wanted to drop you this note:
I don't know how you are on God & the Bible right now but scripturally speaking,
You don't have the scriptural ground to divorce her but she has the scriptural ground to divorce you. When you two married you both thought you were getting JW spouse. Now that you have changed and are not JW she has the right to a divorce because you are no longer what she married. She however- is still what you married- you knew what you were getting into so-to-speak & she has not been unfaithful to you(right?) So if she will have you I say try but if she won't you are scripturally off the hook.
Just a technical note

Yerusalyim

Vol,

Dude, ya gotta be a man about it. Tell the wife and tell her why and give her a chance to get away from the borg too. But DON'T draw the situation out. ACT QUICKLY. If your Jimmy is Jumping to be with the Latina girl (and I can understand that) make sure your basis are covered with your wife. DON'T do the deed until ya get at least a seperation.

YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

I'v got to tell something this!

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