loosing it!

by bez 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • bez
    bez

    Loz - Yeah i live in North Yorkshire in the UK!!! When i do my training for my support teaching i have to get into a voluntary placement in a school. It is kinda impossible to do that at the mo with having my little girl at home with me :-( Cant afford to put her in nursery either. So when her free placement comes up next September, i plan on taking the opportunity to learn learn learn and live live live! lol! I cant believe you have lost all your contact with your kids.. that is so sad :(. My mother does not really have much to do with me anymore or my kids as she is still in. She is and always has been soooo unbalanced though, and I think she loves to milk the fact that we dont go anymore so she can use it as an excuse to say she cant have much association with us! Its so wrong! But i never had a strong relationship with my mother, and so i dont feel too much loss there, tho it does hurt sometimes. Everyone needs loving parents.. and its something i have never had. My dad was d'fd. He still continues to do as he pleases with his life, and has not much time for anyone but himself. But he does make more of an effort with his grandkids than he did with us while we were kids! I know in time things will become easier, and if anyone else in the cong/org comes to their senses, i would like to think i would always be here if they needed to talk.

    Watersprout - Thank you for your post.. i seem to have cried non stop the last couple of weeks! I felt like i was coping well to start with! My 8 year old daughter got all her friends she grew up with taken from her.. the parents said they could no longer play together. That was one of the hardest things.. but after all the encouragement on here to fill her time with new friends from school, and some after school clubs, she has really been doing well, and after only a month or so, stopped asking after her old friends! It was really hard one day as she asked me if she would never be able to see her friends (one who she grew up with from being born) again... I had to be honest and say i dont know but she has some great friends at school, she buried her head in the sofa and cried :( She is a really sensitive little girl and i thought that it was going to really effect her for such a long time. Im so glad she has been able to move on.. and she seems the happiest she has EVER been, which is good for me as i really worried about her at one time, thinking she did not seem happy enough for a little girl! (thought she was going to take after me, having been brough up in it, i feel i was miserable and had a very unhappy childhood... much to do with my unloving parents). That is good that now your little girl has started school she has excelled! Are you in the UK?

    I will continue to pray and will definatly ask to be clothed in love to perhaps get rid of some of the negativity i am feeling and bitterness... thank you again x

  • Little Imp
    Little Imp

    Bez, my heart goes out to you, things can and will only get better, it just takes time.

    Step one, how brilliant that your little girl has settled well at school, she will be able to do all the things my husband never did as a child like going round a friend's house for tea and vice versa. If she wants to join the brownies she can etc. etc.

    When I had problems with depression when my children were small I used to tidy cupboards out, that sort of thing. I just kept busy and with two children and a husband there is always plenty to do. They had all home baked bread, biscuits, squashes etc. I found it difficult to mix with others at the time but this gradually got better, I tried not to be too hard on myself.

    With your new career to look forward to a year won't seem long at all.

    Everyone on this site knows how brave you are being.

    LI x

  • watersprout
    watersprout

    Yes i am! I'm in the midlands, a few hours from you...

    Babysprout was crying for one of her old friends last night...How do you comfort a child in this sort of situation?? It's lovely for them to have a normal life though...Thats one thing out of this mess that we can rejoice about, that we will never take for granted what our children can partake in!

    Peace

  • jookbeard
    jookbeard

    The loss of a routine and the loss of a huge social network among them can leave a huge void to fill, I remember those dark lonely days; the phone never rang and you sit there alone thinking if you exist anymore. Only time can heal this process, it's easy to sit here and say it but honestly it gets better,hang in there. Make no mistake I made some wonderful friendships while in the Borg and thankfully some followed me out but life goes on.

  • bez
    bez

    It is good to know there are others from the UK on this site, when i read many posts i see many from the states etc and often wonder how many uk folk are on here. Watersprout.. thats sad about your child crying still over a lost friend... but like you say at leas they can have a 'normal' life. I often wonder if their dub friends will grow up and one day ask about our children ... what excuse will the parents giv... oh they were a bad associate cus they did birthdays!!!

    Little imp, i am similar, i am at a point right now where i dont really want to deal with people face to face... and its unusual for me as i am actually quite an outgoing person. I am constantly cleaning lol! Not done my kitchen cupboards for a bit tho so i think i might have to think about that.. and i actually feel like making bread this afternoon now!! lol I often make buns etc wi my little girl, but forgot about bread after we got rid of the bread maker!! I might go back to doing it the old fashioned way! Im gonna get my little girl into the brownies too as her school friend is also doing that so she wants to do it with her.

    I cant wait for that year to pass! Im sure a new prospec in life is just what i need .. roll on september 2011... (though i do love spending time with my little girl, i am longing for some adult conversation and looking forward to getting out of this hole.).

    Bezx

  • Chalam
    Chalam

    bez I will continue to pray and will definatly ask to be clothed in love to perhaps get rid of some of the negativity i am feeling and bitterness... thank you again

    Galatians 5:22-23 (New International Version)

    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

    John 3:5-8 (Contemporary English Version)

    5 Jesus answered:

    I tell you for certain that before you can get into God's kingdom, you must be born not only by water, but by the Spirit. 6 Humans give life to their children. Yet only God's Spirit can change you into a child of God. 7 Don't be surprised when I say that you must be born from above. 8 Only God's Spirit gives new life. The Spirit is like the wind that blows wherever it wants to. You can hear the wind, but you don't know where it comes from or where it is going.

    On a physical note, get out and about, join a club or two, start up some old hobbies or find some new ones :)

    Blessings,

    Stephen

  • bez
    bez

    THanks Stephen.. i really am going to work on my fruits!!!! I really have turned into a bitter person and angry.. i will pray to feel less anxious and annoyed and hopfully this will help me. I am not naturally a hot head, but i feel myself turning into this bitter, grumpy cantancourous woman!

    Thats hopefully where my prayer will be answererd. Thanks Bez x

  • MMXIV
    MMXIV

    Bez,

    I haven't been through what you have but can understand why the circumstances you're in would make you feel how you do.

    I had the luxury of being able to fade over a long period of time so I had new friends in place and a surrogate congregation that being my workplace. Still it was difficult.

    Leaving the community of the KH that you have been in for your whole life will remove so many of your securities. At a time when you are at home with not one but two kids (getting my serious respect right now) is when you need support, friends and as you say a purpose. If those things have been removed then of course you're going to be feeling low, even if you had no medical issues or dealing with the aftermath of a cult.

    In many ways it will be difficult for your husband too, although doing a job, being able to have at least work colleagues to spend much of the day with as part of a routine hopefully will make things better.

    These are the tough times in life. It does get better.

    best wishes

    MMXIV

  • watersprout
    watersprout

    Im gonna get my little girl into the brownies too

    Oh my goodness do it! Babysprout joined the brownies this year a couple of weeks before her 7th b'day... She absolutely loves it! A couple of weeks ago they all went camping in the Scout camp! She came back absolutely full of it....Had the best time ever! It's awesome aswel when they get their badges for all their hard work, makes you feel really proud!

    Can you tell i luuuvvvv the Brownies??? Lol...

    Peace

  • bez
    bez

    lol watersprout!!! Its definatley on the agenda!

    MMXIV thanks for your post! Yes, no wonder im blaaady depressed!!! I know time is a healer... i just wish it would hurry up. In the meantime, im happy to have found people via this site that make me feel 'normal'!

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