loosing it!

by bez 25 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Chalam

  Hi bez,

  THanks Stephen.. i really am going to work on my fruits!!!! I really have turned into a bitter person and angry.. i will pray to feel less anxious and annoyed and hopfully this will help me. I am not naturally a hot head, but i feel myself turning into this bitter, grumpy cantancourous woman!

  Thats hopefully where my prayer will be answererd. Thanks Bez x

  Just remember, you can't do it yourself, the "flesh" always wins, you need the Holy Spirit Romans 7, Romans 8

  Have a look at the verses I just posted in this thread and see if they speak to you :)

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/199713/1/Phoned-the-PO

  Blessings,

  Stephen
• 

  TastingFreedom

  I think the transition out of the Witnesses brings a lot of instability initially on different levels such as the routine, emotions, adjusment with family (shunning), etc. It requires adjustment in the way you socialize, it brings insecurities because you feel uncertain about how to use the new acquired freedoms.

  You suddenly feel like a teenager with curiosities, willing to explore, and that may be a threat to the partner. You guys need to talk, and define limits, set rules, and support each other along the way. Be very careful with potential addictions, alcohol, drugs, etc.

  For us it was important to define a structure, to start attending community, school events, getting to know other parents my our kid's school, making new friends. You need to get involved with other activities, change your routine, take a break from the house, take turns. Go to the gym, etc. We started attending Unitarian Universalists meetings on Sunday as a family to find some sort of spiritual inspiration without doctrines, without commitment, just in an open and flexible basis.

  As a couple this is the time to get to know each other ,and to be completely honest, to unite and support each other and build real trust. You need to share the responsibilities and need to give each other some space. It's not easy with the stress and the strain with family, losing your religion, and losing many friends. You may even start questioning if you made the right decision, and second guessing yourself. The void is huge ,and you need to start filling in with new meaning. But it definitely gets better. It takes time, patience and commitment.

  My wife and I, along with our two kids have finally found the stability, and have settled down after the first few months of turmoil after leaving the cult. Best wishes and best of luck in your journey. You can make it!

  I suggest your read a recent post I made about the transition to becoming a free man, I hope it helps.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/199632/1/Documented-transition-from-being-an-elder-to-becoming-a-free-man
• 

  jamiebowers

  Everyone has marvelous suggestions, but may I make one more? How about just RELAXING? I realize that being a born in you've been on a tedious treadmill your whole life, but take some time just to relax. Read for fun, nap if you can, and to keep your husband's newfound inecurities in check by spicing up the old sex life. There isn't a man in this world who doesn't appreciate being appreciated in that way. Besides, it's kind of difficult for a guy to fight with his wife when she's dressed in wicked lingerie while holding a can of whipped cream, LOL!

  Most importantly realize that what you and your family are going through is normal. Make sure your husband knows it too. If being shunned was easy, the Watchtoer wouldn't use it.
• 

  thenoblelodge

  jamie -

  If being shunned was easy, the Watchtower wouldn't use it.

  Awesome quote, so very, very true.

  I can remember when I started to lurk on this site someone told an anxious newbie to just stop and BREATHE. I took that advice aswell, I just slowed down and got myself together. When we leave the W/T our thinking can be very shattered and it's like we can't focus on anything except the negative. Start thinking of the positive, make plans (we never did in the borg cos the big A was gonna be here any day....yada, yada).

  During the summer I went through a very dark time. My husband went to work in the morning and I would still be in my pyjammies when he got home. I just sat all day doing nothing, very often not even thinking, I literally did nothing. I would then sit all evening and not say a word...it was just awful. In the end I went for counselling (NLP) and I have gone from strength to strength.

  Don't let them rob you of any more of your life.

  for baby bez
• 

  jookbeard

  Jamie and TF

  fantastic posts and wonderful advice.
• 

  bez

  Thanks everyone so much for your advice, and i like the ideal of just relaxing and not stressing too much about it.

  If being shunned was easy, the Watchtoer wouldn't use it.

  Excellent quote JB!

  And thanks the nobleledge again. I have been similar to how you explained you were, just nothing allday, not even particularly thinking... but stil feeling somewhat lost. I am waiting for counselling and think it may help.

  I have just had my anti d's changed after another dr realising that the dodgy liver results were as a result of glandular fever that i had had when having my bloods checked and it had not been spotted, nothing to do with the previous anti-d's! Made me feel a little better about the fact i have been so knackered the last few weeks, and it is not all down to feeling depressed!

  So im sure once my new anti-d's kick in and i start with my counselling, i will soon pick up and move on. In the meantime I am still trying every day to feel a little bit more positive and am still praying, and have prayed recently to be clothed with love, to distinguish my negativity!

  Thanks again everyone , good to know i am not alone