My Life has been a total wreck (page 4)

anewme

Bloominglotus, like the others said, you would do well to take a breath and relax a bit. We compound our problems by acting too quickly sometimes. Stay online here. Talk it all out here. Get feedback. We have all been through hell too like you are going through.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.....and laughter and joy and happiness are in your future again. Just take it slow and easy and day by day try to understand what you have been through.

Be strong! And for the sake of your beautiful children stay calm and relaxed. The people on this board can really help you.

My advice would be to focus on all that is beautiful in your life, your husband and children, and any true friends who stick with you in your hour of need. This time of distress will pass and a new happy life will emerge for you!

We are all thinking of you and wishing you well Bloominglotus,

Anewme

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Welcome!

First, your life isn't a total wreck. So stop exaggerating... I've told you a million times not to exaggerate!

Depression is rampant among JWs, so you can look at it almost as a sign of normalcy. As much as they try to portray it as a "worldly problem", I've known several JWs that have committed suicide. Don't you become one of them! If you need help and counselling, don't hesitate to get it. I did.

Unfortunately, your mom is indoctrinated by a cult. Underneath it all, she loves you. It's all the cult crap that's messing up her thinking.

And don't let the JWs tell you that your life "has been a total wreck" because you "left Jehovah". Their judgmentalism is Cult101 tactics.

Good Luck!

cantleave

Welcome to the Board and the first steps to true freedom.

Ding

Welcome to the forum.

bloominglotus

thank you everyone for your kind words of encouragement and advice.... they have been very helpful... I definitely plan on reading those books to get more insight.You just dont know how good it feels to talk to ones who've been thru this ordeal. I literally have no friends, but my husband of course lol....but u know what I mean. It's very hard for me to make new friends...i dont know why...but yea...

The past few days my mom has been calling. At first, we would have our casual convo but then of course she would bring up about my newfound knowledge. I would repeatedly tell her I would rather not talk about it at the moment because right now I am still trying to come at peace with myself and get a better understanding of some things. She would be very persistent but eventually she gave up due to my assertiveness. A few minutes later my sister calls me to tell me that my mom was crying and she suggested that I not bring up anything else about that subject. I told my sister that honestly I wasnt the one who brought it up,she was.

Now to give a little background about our family, almost 10 yrs ago my dad had a stroke while giving a talk. It left my dad disabled with my mom taking care of my dad. I know she deals with depression as well; She has been reg.pioneering for a couple yrs. now and in the convos we would have together she would tell me how devoting full time in the ministry has kept her busy and helped ease her mind. She still pretty much stay to herself within the cong though and has even expressed to me how some of the brothers and sisters treat her-in hurtful ways. She does a lot of letter witnessing. Lately she's been relating to me experiences of people writing letters back and I can see how this has uplifted her spirit. I guess its therapeutic for her and her life pretty much revolves around the organization. She may be afraid of losing everything that's pretty much kept her somewhat sane...i dont know..

Now I just got off the phone with my mom and she was really trying to reason with me as to JW being the true religion. I told her upfront i didnt want to talk about it at the moment. I asked her if her love for me is just based around this religion and she said no and that she truly love me and thats why she wants me to see I am headed down the wrong path. It's sort of a blur...our whole conversation...I kinda remember her trying to prove to me that Isaiah 43: 10 applies to them as for the name they were given. I was sort of ignoring her because I really didnt want to hang up in her face. Then she asked where I was getting this info. from. I said my own independent research,libraries, certain sites. Then she went rambling about the danger of viewing info that says anything negative about org. I said well if u want to remain in ignorance thats fine,mom. If someone says something contrary to what u believe in and if u feel in your heart that what you believe in is the truth than u shouldnt worry about the contrary if its supposedly the "truth" right? I told her one should not have fear of the unknown. Then at that point she said she wanted to see this info. Then the phone went out. Her battery died. So I know she will be calling back so what should I tell her?

JimmyPage

I dont want to inadvertantly be worshipping another god while celebrating certain Holidays either. Any advice?

Now that your Watchtower blinders are off, try reading the Bible again. If you're like me you'll realize that there are a lot of tall tales in that book.

jamiebowers

Then she went rambling about the danger of viewing info that says anything negative about org. I said well if u want to remain in ignorance thats fine,mom. If someone says something contrary to what u believe in and if u feel in your heart that what you believe in is the truth than u shouldnt worry about the contrary if its supposedly the "truth" right? I told her one should not have fear of the unknown. Then at that point she said she wanted to see this info. Then the phone went out. Her battery died. So I know she will be calling back so what should I tell her?

Don't show her anything. Just tell her that there is a world of information on the internet that she can verify with reference materials at the public library. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she isn't setting you up for a jc for apostasy.

Bangalore

Welcome.

Bangalore

goodship

Your story bought tears and many memories while reading it, as my story is simlar to yours, without the abortion, i am considered "mental, mad" by my Jw mother and many of the local congregations, because i "spoke" out, not only about the history of the JW but about the "secreat socity and masons". I rember one day watching the door to door service happening in my street and watching sister after sister and brother after brother walk by my house. I said to my JW mom why did they not come in, and i likened it to angels coming to save gods chosen and passing a true beliver, i was still in the belif of Jehovah. My mother did tell me that the elders told her that "the demons had me' and to leave me alone, this floored me as it was now more then ever that i needed "them". I rember going to the kingdom hall and there were two elders there and i walked in and said about the demon thing and they both looked stunned to see me and that i actually spoke and then i told them about the mason thing and they said to me what do you want us to do, i said pray for me and took both their hands, i rember that the two elders didnt hold hands during prayer and i found that odd. I must of been a sight i think back now LOL.

Bloominglotus, i belive that the true God has lead us out of captivity of "babalon the great" and that Jesus is god incarnate in the flesh, i am the truth way and life. but you do your research. I do belive that there is a almighty god but its not "jehovah". I am not a church goer but i do pray and ask for help and faith to lead me. I belive in the "helper" and ask the helper for help. When i realized that the truth was not the truth, i belive i became a target of that god that governed JW and all that went with it. I do not beive that it is aposate that you are searching for the true God, that deserves your truth, and service.

goodship

Your story bought tears and many memories while reading it, as my story is simlar to yours, without the abortion, i am considered "mental, mad" by my Jw mother and many of the local congregations, because i "spoke" out, not only about the history of the JW but about the "secreat socity and masons". I rember one day watching the door to door service happening in my street and watching sister after sister and brother after brother walk by my house. I said to my JW mom why did they not come in, and i likened it to angels coming to save gods chosen and passing a true beliver, i was still in the belif of Jehovah. My mother did tell me that the elders told her that "the demons had me' and to leave me alone, this floored me as it was now more then ever that i needed "them". I rember going to the kingdom hall and there were two elders there and i walked in and said about the demon thing and they both looked stunned to see me and that i actually spoke and then i told them about the mason thing and they said to me what do you want us to do, i said pray for me and took both their hands, i rember that the two elders didnt hold hands during prayer and i found that odd. I must of been a sight i think back now LOL.

Bloominglotus, i belive that the true God has lead us out of captivity of "babalon the great" and that Jesus is god incarnate in the flesh, i am the truth way and life. but you do your research. I do belive that there is a almighty god but its not "jehovah". I am not a church goer but i do pray and ask for help and faith to lead me. I belive in the "helper" and ask the helper for help. When i realized that the truth was not the truth, i belive i became a target of that god that governed JW and all that went with it. I do not beive that it is aposate that you are searching for the true God, that deserves your truth, and service.

My Life has been a total wreck

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