I... well, I need to face this fear that someone will read my story and know who I am and harrass me. There are enough distinctive things about my story that who I am is pretty easy to identify, if you know me.
So, here goes.
I was raised as a Witness. My Dad was abusive. My mother was horribly depressed. I was a nerdy kid who never really connected with other Witness kids. Being friends with "worldly" people meant Jehovah would hate me, so....
I was baptized at age 14.
My parents separated a year later because my father was getting progressively worse. They divorced a couple years later. I haven't seen my Dad in almost ten years, since the day he was arrested. He was never disfellowshipped. He was never reproved. Nothing. And I started asking a lot of questions.
I went to college and got my four year degree. I studied abroad in communist China, with no religion and no meetings for over a year. It was bliss. That's when I really began to think clearly. Then I was reading the scripture by itself, without someone speaking in my ear and drowning out the other thoughts. I began to feel happy again.
Now I'm working on a master's degree. And I'm leaving the organization. Over the last two years, I have done so much research, often independent of "apostate" literature, and found so many things. The tipping point for me was all the false prophecy.
My family, until now, was the only one whose kids hadn't been disfellowshipped. Now, of course, I'll soon be (don't know when), and for apostasy of all things. I didn't leave for a long time because I didn't want to put my family through more pain, especially with that messy divorce so recent and some of its wounds barely scabbed over. But doing something for other people when you really hate it is hard. It's hard to do it for years on end. I'd say I've been "in" against my personal will for at least five years now.
It's got to end. I have always said my 20s would belong to me.
Now they do.
....
And that's the short of it. There's a lot of detail I'm just not putting out here.
I had practice making friends in China, and I'm slowly acclimating here. I've spent most of my life alone; you know, surrounded by superficial friends. I'm very cautious as a result. So far in my life it's the people I've trusted most who have betrayed me or hurt me or left me.
That's hard to overcome. It's a journey. I still believe in God; with his help and strength, things will keep getting better.
I'm happier every day.