You have learned a very important tenet of friendship, it isn't conditional and real friendship never is. Wanted to ask why China, sounds like that would have been very interesting, and how did it happen that you were able to go to China (communist or otherwise) and study? Glad you have seen the nontruth for the truth that it isn't.
My Story: Short Version
by In 20 Replies latest jw experiences
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Lozhasleft
Welcome to the board, its a good place to be and I hope it brings you support and friendship.
Loz x
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Gayle
wow,, I say you seem to be pretty strong..going on to college, foreign country, going on to your Masters. You've figured out a lot and still pretty young. You have accomplished a lot.
If you can avoid getting df'd that may be better for now for awhile because of family. Of course, if you are talking to your family about your researching about the facts about JWs, would they report on you? Maybe if you could tell them you're too busy studying, and therefore just can't make it to meetings, etc. Do you live near family?
Well, thank you for sharing your life experience so far. I have a feeling you are going to be just very fine in your future. Best wishes!!
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bohm
WELCOME!
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MMXIV
Welcome IN,
Your journey, while unique to you, is something that has similarities to many of us here. Distance has afforded you the time to do research and be away from the influence of people and the mind control at meetings.
Ultimately you now want to leave and cause minimum pain to your parents. I was faced with this some years back and decided to tell my parents that I didn't want to go to any more meetings. That is all I said. I held back on what I truly believed. I do however have regular contact with them with no real issues. That is the result I wanted so I went about trying to get to that result (although it took a fair bit of planning and managing them).
I found this site 5 years after I left and it would have me good advice in how to leave. More importantly it confirmed to me many of the suspicians I had which has helped me to understand why I led the life I did for 3 decades.
I am going to send you a PM. If you haven't viewed one before - click on the envelope on the top right of the screen. That gets you to your inbox. Then click on the message title. You will first get an error message (quirk of the system). Click Back and then click on the message title for a second time and you should be able to read it fine.
mmxiv
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looloo
welcome and good for you , i liked your last comment about your 20s because i spent most of mine miserable because of the cult !
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In
I don't know how to do that fun little highlighting quotes thing in a box, so you'll have to tolerate my old fashioned tech:
CyberJesus: "The communication between family members is severely truncated and with "friends" completely stops. " -------- Ain't too worried, didn't have any "friends". Like, real friends. People who give a d*mn. Family... well, I don't think it'll last too long.
@ssn587: My minor was Chinese. I studied in China for the language. The first trip a brother in the cong wrote me a letter telling he feared Satan would eat me if I went to China. I went and guess what? Satan didn't eat me! ... The second time I went back for a full school year. I kept it secret until two days before the plane took off... and announced it during a summer barbeque. People didn't have time to recover from the shock to say anything to me. Yeah... I know how to keep secrets. Bloody big ones too. Oh, as for how I went - scholarships, grants, and loans. I paid tuition to my university and "switched" places with a Chinese student.
@Gayle: wrote a letter telling them I'm out. I also told them in the letter I would not discuss anything about the Society. It only leads to fights. If they want to leave, they can do their own research. I won't have myself accused of adverse influence.
And, y'all shouldn't say parents. My father is gone. It's just parent.
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cantleave
Welcome
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Hortensia
good for you! I just love hearing stories about people like you who escape that stupid org.
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
Welcome!
As far as making friends, I learned as a child that JW "friends" were very superficial despite the fact that Watchtower Corp. claimed they were my "true", bestest friends. I was often disappointed. I've come to have a much more realistic expectation with "worldly" people that building friendships takes time, and keep my expectations realistic that bonds don't happen by sitting in the same building.
I found few JW friends that would measure up to the high standards claimed by Watchtower. However, I've rarely been disappointed when I have modest expectations from non-JWs. I'm often impressed by how helpful other students are, while my JW friends are too busy preaching to be of much help.