To the Household of God, Israel, and those who go with... may you have peace.
As some of you have witnessed lately, I have been involved in a bit of "pushing" with others. Some of you were uncomfortable and I totally understand that, but as I stated, I was doing what I was directed and heard (well, 95% of the time - to say otherwise would be untrue). I have worried, however, over the past few days or so that, well, maybe I wasn't hearing what I was - maybe the "others" were right. I cannot tell you the prayers... and tears... that I have undergone during this time. Each time, however, our Lord would come and encourage me... and refresh me. It was the only way I could continue. But I did not know how to relate that to YOU... other than to ask YOU to ask him. Which some did.
Apparently, however, some didn't... due, unfortunately, to a lack of faith. I do not say that to inflame - I say it because it is the truth. But take heart: our Lord has directed me to some words that might help YOU "see" what it is he said to ME during this time. It doesn't matter which Bible version YOU use to verify this, but I am going to share what is in the NWT, because it really does sound closest to what he often said to me during this time, indeed over the years:
"... keep on remembering the former days in which, after you were enlightened, you endured a great contest under sufferings, sometimes while you were being exposed as in a theater both to reproaches and tribulations, and sometimes while you became sharers with those who were having such an experience. For you both expressed sympathy for those in prison* and joyfully took the plundering of your belongings, knowing you yourselves have a better and an abiding possession. Do NOT, therefore, throw away your freeness of speech, which has a great reward to be paid it. For you have need of endurance, in order that, after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise. For yet 'a very little while,' and 'he who is coming will arrive and will not delay.' 'But my righteous one will live by reason of faith,' and, 'if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.' Now we are not the sort that shrink back to destruction, but the sort that have faith... to the preserving alive of the soul." Hebrews 10:32-39
I realize that some are concerned that I may [have] stumbled some. My understanding from our Lord is that that is not the case - rather, others have stumbled some of you. So that rather than continuing running in the course HE set before you... you have began to shrink back. Please know that while I love you... I cannot shrink back with you. I cannot deny him... hide him... show shame for or about him... or remain silent when others disparage or ridicule him... for any price. Including my own pride or need for acceptance/approval by others. I am not different than you in such need... except when it comes to our Lord. Then... I have no pride... and no other "need"... than to do his will, as he directs me.
But I do not take offense when I am so accused - yes, my flesh grows quite weak as it has to bear such things... but my spirit does NOT! Why? Because as Paul (?) wrote to the Philippians:
"It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that [we are] put here for the defense of the good news. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for [us]. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice." Philipians 1:15-18
Indeed, we should ALL rejoice, should we not? Some have even recently professed a "conversion"...though the truth of that is suspect. But so what? So long as our Lord IS preached... then we should raise both our heads... and our hearts!!
So, I ask you... in all sincerity and humility... please... do not join with those who try to "chain" me... who take issue with my boldness and freeness of speech. It is the GIFT given me... for this assignment. If my assignment is not your assignment, so be it. Be about your work... and may the Holy Spirit be with you! But let me be about mine. Let me carry the load that was given ME... while you carry that given YOU. And please, do not accuse me... even in your hearts... of stumbling others... or yourselves... for I am not. Indeed, if Christ is truly WITH you... you cannot BE stumbled. By me or by anyone. For his power won't allow it. And if you are "stumbled," you must truly consider asking our Lord... and perhaps yourself... just why that is.
Again, I bid you the GREATEST of love and peace, and I AM...
Your servant, as I am servant to ALL those of the Household of God, Israel, and those who go with... and your fellow slave of Christ,
SA