How was dating as Jehovah Witness? (page 3)

designs

Some of the prettiest cuties on the planet, ahh my sweet little Surfer girl from the late 60s.

WTWizard

Here are the rules, for them to enforce as they see damn well fit:

First, the person you are dating has to be a witless. And not someone new, either. You have to drag that one into the cancer, and they must be baptized. Beyond that, you must wait for a time after--that time is intentionally vague, so the hounders can keep dragging it out, and claiming that the one that takes your prospective mate out from under you is not as "righteous" as you. Meaning they are not being held to as "high" a standard as you are. The hounders decide what constitutes "long enough".

Once you are cleared, every move has to go through the hounders. All dates must be supervised, as if you were looking at 13 year olds dating. In the world, even many 13 year olds are subject to more liberal rules than the witlesses are--and these witlesses are past the age when they should be able to date without supervision. They are ever-paranoid about that dreaded "fornication". The result is that, if the marriage turns out incompatible, the couple will not know until it's too late--and then they cannot get out of it.

Not to mention the opportunities are not there. The boasting sessions are as sterile as it gets. You go to an a$$embly, they will do all they can to prevent you from finding anyone. Some a$$emblies have rules where certain congregations are assigned to sit in designated sections, usually in the section where they have assignments to clean. They do all they can to prevent you from mixing. This is going on more and more in recent years. And, there are fewer and fewer assignments allowing people the opportunity to mix enough to find a potential mate.

And they wonder why I no longer support any of their activities.

GrandmaJones

I think it is much more strict now than it used to be. It's ridiculous to think that kid's can't "hook up" just because they are supervised or in "groups". If you want to have sex, then you'll have it. Parents really can't do anything about it. You need to just cross your fingers and hope they make good decisions.

clearpoison

Despite the heavy petting and guilt feelings it was quite nice experience. There was still certain amount of sadness and fear that the other party would find the things we were doing in absense of chaperons, well something that should stop us for dating. Fortunatelly she did not follow the rules either.

Considering the length of dating I would say that it was very much shorter than worldly norms. In retrospect very much because we feared doing the ultimate wrong, not just unclean thing, sooner or later. It was kind of close (many times), but we managed.

For the discussion part, I would say that lack of chaperons really gave us possibility to talk about lot's of stuff and be prepared. Long distance service drives made it possible along sitting in cafées and bars, without getting too much attention from others to our doings.

As whole we very much broke all dating "rules" while dating, unnoticed though.

Lady Lee

Dating?!!!? JWs date? My mother married me off to the first person that came along that was my age, was baptized (1 week befroe the wedding) and that was willing to marry a practical stranger.

After we were engaged she allowed us to go to a movie together with one of my brothers as a chaperone. But we were only engaged for 5 weeks so there wasn't a lot of time for dating in there

jookbeard

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Joey Jo-Jo

This is the reaction I got when I recently told a girl (who had a thing for me) at the cong - I dont believe in sex only after marriege - lol

moshe

Couldn't they sign up for ballroom dance classes? - it's in public, they're not alone either.

Scott77

MY sister wants to get married soon. Well since there are no suitable brothers in our hall my family has been visiting other congregations in the area hoping she'll find some single brother and they'll fall in love during the 10 minutes before and after the meeting. Turns out there's rarely a single brother there at all. But hypothetically if she finds someone what are they supposed to do? Well she can start going to his hall, and they can get to know each other in 15 minute time periods before and after each meeting. The can both answer questions and get to know each other by the the way they reword the watchtower answers. If it gets more serious they can start going out in field service together. And when they are right on the verge of getting married they can start sitting beside each other at the meetings.Then get married and be alone with each other for the first time ever. Realize they know NOTHING about each other and be miserable for the rest of their lives.

Lore

Hi Lore ,

Unless there has been recent new changes, I think you missed some steps that would be followed. These includes reading jointly marriage book with an elder, meeting an elder of both a br and a sr in each congregation as well as undercover spying to make sure a br or a sr is not involved in worldly activities. Believe me, a lot of stuff goes around in the background. I hate them all. This is nothing but a cult, a man made cult.

Scott77

"...you must wait for a time after--that time is intentionally vague, so the hounders can keep dragging it out, and claiming that the one that takes your prospective mate out from under you is not as "righteous" as you. Meaning they are not being held to as "high" a standard as you are. The hounders decide what constitutes "long enough"...You go to an a$$embly, they will do all they can to prevent you from finding anyone."

WTWizard

That is obsolutely correct. I recall seeing some JWs who were assigned to prevent me from finding a mate during assembly times. It was a sickening experiences. Anyway, has anyone realisedthat its not allowed for 'lower castle' JW to marry an 'upper class castle' pioneer sister?

Scott77

How was dating as Jehovah Witness?

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