Guys, this is more for me than trying to fit in here. I still believe in the teachings of the witnesses. It is the little stuff that has pissed me off to no end. I married a worldly woman. I never get invited to the get togethers because of it but they tell me all the time that I am a member of their family...We are a small congregation so I should not be looked over. Been in the truth 16 years and people younger than me are always appointed. I am there and do service etc. This is crap! I am a pioneer too but I miss a month and tell the Elders and they come to tell me what is wrong with me etc. Not to mention all the other points I have already mentioned. I would love to read the book, however living in Mexico it is not at your local library. I also can't pay for things in dollars. I was hoping it would be free to read on the internet.
Just wanted to say I understand where your coming from. There's still some things that I agree with the WT on, but the handful of issues that I do disagree with them on are biggies. Then there's the little stuff as you and Ynot mentioned, such as facial hair, constant pressure to do more, amongst others. Those little things add up, and eventually you've got a straw on the camel's back scenario developing in your heart. I've seen enough brothers upset in times past because they feel slighted by not getting appointed. As someone appointed, let me tell you...you're missing out on absolutely nothing!!! It's thankless, its pointless, its stressful, and makes for a miserable existance. As JWs we do more than what's written in the scriptures. As an appointed man, you'll do even more. Endless meetings, and endless nonsense. We have meetings about meetings!!! This religion is like a Union with a bunch of Jimmy Hoffas at the branches and GB barking orders, while they do absolutely zilch! This religion's entire purpose anymore is to suck anything they can out of people, whether it be financial or physical resources. You ever see the movie, The Blob? Thats what this religion does to people in that it sucks people up and removes all traces of a normal existance, so that you no longer exist as an individual. Rather you're part of a toxic enviroment labeled a spiritual paradise. All of this done in the name of uniformity, which the WT labels falsely as unity. It's all B.S., as you've found out from the way you're treated and passed over in the congregation.
Let me ask you, are you still pioneering? You say you're in Mexico, so maybe spending 70 hours a month in field service there produces more results. As for us here in the U.S., I really have to question the intelligence of anyone still pioneering. Especially if they're not fudging their numbers. Are you planning on continuing to pioneer considering your recent change of heart? I'm not in the position to offer anyone advice, but as someone who's anonymous on this board, yet very visible as a so called good example in the congregation, its really difficult to maintain your demeanor and a positive disposition once you start down this road of apostacy. Parts of the book 1984 come to mind, because you start slipping up. I can't remember what poster on here told me that it would happen to me, and I ignorantly said it wouldn't happen to me. Sure enough, I've been slipping. People occasionally see it on my face that I'm not the same man I was several years ago. The book 1984 calls it a FaceCrime. Since you're not appointed, and you're married to an unbeliever, you've got a pretty good head start on other faders. Plus your congregation is treating you like crap.
On one hand while hanging around it is nice to arrogantly look around the audience at a meeting and chuckle to yourself, "wow, these people really can't see through the hype!" At the same time though, you're expected continue going along with the hype despite knowing better!! It will break you down eventually. It's wonderful to have a forum like this to express yourself, and read the thoughts of others going through the same. I hope you hang around Bane, and I hope your situation works out for the best. I hope you express yourself freely on this board, and I hope you find a measure of peace knowing what you know about this organization.