My wife wants to plan an anniversary party but we have different social circles...

by garyneal 32 Replies latest jw friends

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  Reality79

  The JWs are the real ones with the complex. Take my wife's dad's side of the family for instance. They attended our wedding at the KH with no problems, had us over for parties etc all the while knowing we were witnesses and not once was it ever an issue for any of them at all. They were just regular, normal people who simply wanted to have a good time. It was US in our brainwashed, Fear everything that isn't a Witness-state that felt uneasy.

  In fact, I felt a lot more uncomfortable being at a social event with "the friends" than I did "wordly" people. A LOT MORE. It's just witnesses who feel that if an outsider so much as smiles at them or shows any human kindness, that it's just Satan using that person to draw them away! *sighs* Honestly....
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Two words.

  Two parties.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  JW's will throw you a potluck party. They are swell like that.

  You can throw the one for your non jw buddies. Make it a B.O.B.
• 

  Black Sheep

  You are her excuse.

  You are a partnership. It's not just her anniversary.

  What is she frightened of anyway? Someone might ask a question about her religion that she doesn't have a truthful, or sane, answer for? Is that possible for a member of the one true religion that was selected by Jesus in 1919 to be J. E Hoover's sole channel for all of mankind in the 21st century?

  Tell her she is just going to have to grow a pair and get on with enjoying your marriage.

  Enjoy your day

  Chris
• 

  Black Sheep

  .... we declined because we are afraid of being judged by the JW relatives.

  Does it really matter if someone with a psychological disorder thinks you don't live up to their expectations?

  They are the ones that need to 'get over it'. Not us.
• 

  Nice_Dream

  "Does it really matter if someone with a psychological disorder thinks you don't live up to their expectations? They are the ones that need to 'get over it'. Not us."

  Totally true Black Sheep. It's hard getting over that paranoia of being "found out." My husband is petrified of being disowned by his family, definitely not a healthy way to live!
• 

  boyzone

  I arranged a 50th wedding anniversary party for my JW parents. It was filled with members of the congregation and all our worldly relatives (mum's got a big family)

  I must admit I was worried about mixing the two species together but it actually went fine. The JW's tended to stick together and so did the relatives, mainly because they were strangers to each other. I hired a singer who sung a mixture of old and modern, and there was a bar and a buffet. I didn't worry about opening with prayer or any of that tripe and kingdom songs were way off the menu! There was no smoking in the building anyway so that wasn't an issue.

  In the end everybody got up and danced and it was a great evening.

  So in all honesty I wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure the music isn't too raunchy or it might upset some, otherwise I'm sure the JW's will enjoy being "normal" and just chill.
• 

  teel

  Me and my ex-wife had extensive non-JW families, who were invited to our wedding, along with many JW friends. The relatives were all there (fully knowing we're JWs) - but only two JW families came, both were regarded as spiritual weaklings. JWs are highly judgemental, and won't mix with non-JWs.
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  nugget

  Be aware that the organisation has become more hard line recently and the emphasis on keeping seperate from the world has got stronger. They have become more judgemental and awkward in social settings. They also frown on large gatherings and large parties with worldly people may not be considered appropriate. Your wife is displaying anxiety projecting witness attitudes onto your other friends because it is shameful to admit that her religion is the one that is wrong.

  On the plus side you have mentioned in earlier posts how much your wife loved oraganising parties and social events before becoming a witness and I suspect she wants an opportunity to enjoy that social side again. The important thing is that both of you enjoy the party as it is a celebration of your marriage. This is a real challenge I would suggest that the people who are invited know you both and are not your friends exclusively or hers exclusively. That way you will both be happy and relaxed. If it means that the party is smaller then originally envisaged it may not be a bad thing.
• 

  wannabefree

  I know someone who experienced the wrath of such a mixed party recently. Elder body met, a readjusting session to place, priveleges were taken away.

  All it takes is one friend from the hall who isn't sure about attending such a mixed party asking an elder what to do. Some JW's need elder approval on everything.

  The elders, if strictly following Watchtower guidelines, would counsel your wife about the party yoking believers with unbelievers, putting true Christians in a compromising situation by socializing with worldly people, hurting the conscience of her Christian friends, some of whom might not feel strong enough to decline the invitation so as to not hurt your wife's feelings and therefore compromise their Christian principles, possibly even causing division ... your wife's concern is real