by garyneal 32 Replies latest jw friends
BLONDIE wrote: We had family parties all the time with jws and non-jws. They went fine... As your friends, they will honor you and the event.
DITTO.
I see no problem with the mix of friends unless you traditionally behave differently when with your worldly friends and don't want "stories" of your escapades with them to surface with all the JWs there, i.e., "Gary and his wife were both really liquored up and doing body shots on the bar with other couples at the company Christmas Party".
2 Parties!
Maybe it's a regional thing, but in 20 years the only anniversary party I heard of among the JWs was for our congregation PO. It was in his home. The highlight, for me anyway, was when several sound cars with anti-JW signs and banners drove by the house. They were obviously "apostates". A few of us went out to the porch to watch them.
Personally, I think most JWs would decline an invitation to an anniversary party if one of the spouses was an "unbeliever", especially if there are a lot of "worldly" people invited.
It could be a wake up call for your wife if most of her JW friends don't show up. It would hurt like hell though.
W
You all have certainly given me a lot to think about. I guess my wife is not yet sure whether or not she is going to plan one.
Personally, I don't exactly know what to expect at these types of parties anyhow. But I guess if it is similar to a wedding party then I guess we should be free to invite whoever we want to come. It would seem best to invite only people who know us both very well, but that would be a short list since we both barely have time for social calls outside our work, spending time with family, and her school. I only go to church once a week on Sundays and do little else with the church outside that time. My wife goes to the hall on Sundays regurlarly, Wednesdays a little less regurlarly, and goes out in service even less regurlarly. We realized that our 'religious' activities would be limited given the circumstances.
She tries real hard, however, to make friends at the hall and laments the fact that there aren't as many get togethers at her hall as it is at her mom's hall and their neighboring halls. Of course, her mom is a full on witness and regular pioneer (if not special pioneer) who logs at least 70 hours a month. Plus her mom 'married in the truth' by managing to get her husband to study and get baptized back when they were getting to know each other. In other words, mommy-in-law is much stronger in DA TROOF than wifey.
Wifey loves to organize parties would prefer to participate in more witness-y activities if possible. She hated the fact that one of the witnesses organized a slumber party for the young girls in DA TROOF but did not invite our oldest daughter. Of course, my wife said that our child was probably not included due to the fact that she goes to church more with me than to the hall with her. Ah, I see, so in an indirect way, that's my fault.
Even if my daughter did go, she sees nothing wrong with breaking out in song and singing "Jingle Bells," "Happy Birthday," etc.. Forbidden songs amongst those in DA TROOF. Apparently my wife sees nothing wrong with birthday parties either judging by her actions. Lately, my wife has been saying how she really wants to test some ideas for our daughter's 5th birthday party, but she can't. "Well, give those ideas to me," I said, and she did.
Two parties may be the way to go depending on how big the parties will be. If fairly small, then I could suggest one for the witnesses at a shelter in the local nature park (perhaps one next to her hall) and make it a pot luck (per FHN's suggestion). We could make another one at a different park and invite everyone else (family, mutual friends, some people from the church). If big and somewhat formal, I would insist we do just one party. Ideally, since it is for us both we should both invite who we want and let the chips fall where they may. I might just consider suggesting that anyway even if it is small.
As for the people at the church, I don't know too many of them well. However, they did organize a baby shower for my wife and I all by themselves (with little input from me). Considering that my wife only set foot in that church once (after the baby was born) and did not know anybody at the time of the shower, that was huge. Makes me wonder if the witnesses would've done the same thing had I'd been the unbelieving wife rather than the unbelieving husband.
At any rate, I'll ask her later if she has thought about it anymore.
Have two parties.
I know a jw that had two funerals for his jw wife. One for the jw side (his) and one for the nonjw side (hers). Wow
Two parties. JW's will not want to attend one with "worldly" people.
I am of the same thought as FHN..Two parties..out of respect for each other and your views..
It does go both ways.
Unless you think it is possible to comfortably have a mixture of your closest friends only.
Otherwise..two parties is my vote.
Snoozy
I thought the whole point of parties was to mix. Otherwise, all you are doing is shoving food in your mouth or practicing dance steps. I am very worldly. My friends love to hear about JW doctrine b/c no one wants to ask a JW. The party will be more interesting for the Witnesses. The Ws are the ones judging. Isolation can stop for a few hours. Two parties dilutes your celebration.
Besides, your wife married you! What is having some non-JW friends over for a part of one night compared to marrying a non-believer! Does anyone know why they don't extend a divorce rule to couples where the spouse is not a JW.
Trouble with the elders may not make a nice anniversary party. Sad. And anniversaries are different from birthdays. Birthday of Christ - Satan. Birthday of legal relationship - A OK.
After I said all this, she finally revealed the real truth about her concerns.
Great, a sliver of honesty. Go ahead and let her invite all the JWs to her JW only party. Then you send out the invitations to the "worldly" friends and explain to them, "mums the word"- invite a few homeless apostate people, too- that's what Jesus would want you to do.
