by minimus 31 Replies latest jw friends
Whether you are a male or female, the Organization was always making you try to reach out for extra privileges whether it be Pioneering for a month, year or a lifetime, going to Bethel, or becoming a "Servant" in the Hall.
Did you feel compelled to "reach out" or did you want to do more for "Jehovah God"?
GUILTY!!!!!!!!!
Since I was raised to "reach out" it was quite natural for me. But as years went by, I NEVER joined the Servant body and Pioneered. Screw that!
Humble JW: "I don't want to sit at Jesus' right hand or his left hand. I just want to handle the microphone..."
Reaching Out is what got me into the jam that I'm in currently. My reasons for doing this were respect from family (never happened), prestige (never happened) and the feeling that achieving these "goals" is what would bring genuine happiness. Instead, all it did was allow me to see what was behind the curtain and realized that I don't want to get myself any deeper into it.
It's strange, minimus, because sometimes I wonder if I hadn't Reached Out, I may not have seen the stuff that goes on in the background and ruined my faith. The happiest time I remember (at least dillusional happiness) was when I was reaching out. Everything I did was praised. Then I got the "backstage pass" and I came to my senses.
So in a way, I should be grateful(?)
Guilty as charged. Even came close to CO, what a mistake that would have been. stuck in
I don't know that I can say that I "reached out" so much as I was "dragged in"...
All I ever did was what was expected of any dub. Joined the Ministry School and always gave my assigned talks. Maintained a 10 hour average in service. I was surprised when they recommended me for MS at an early age.
But I never made elder. I actually got deleted as an MS and then later reappointed in another congregation. But I never did any more than I had to do. I was bugged about 'reaching out' and 'doing more'. But I did what they asked and nothing more. I was liked well enough but I was not an ass-kisser so while I was relied on to do my chores, I was never recommended as elder as I think it was worried that I wouldn't hold to their good ole boy code.
I would love to see COs undermine the Org. I wonder if some of the sharper ones ever do that on purpose?
Yeah, I reached out. Turned out to be both the biggest blessing and mistake of my life. If I wasn't an elder I probably would not have seen the problems and contradictions that made me wake up to the lie.
That said, I still wasted a good portion of my life that I will never get back.
SIAM
SIAM, at least you know for sure! So many feel guilty still!
