by Open mind 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I did,but I am a rather laid back person,and so I figured let the man,"take the lead". But,of course, I would have never lasted married to a domineering Witness. I always wanted to marry someone that would view me as a partner in life,a friend,not someone to boss around.
But,now,I'm glad I didn't marry in the religion. It makes my situation a whole lot easier.
Dana Bug: "We're a team, not a hierarchy. I like it that way."
The words often attributed to Jesus, The Golden Rule, are IMO, probably the most valid advice for human relationships ever uttered.
Why would anyone, regardless of their gender, agree to be steam-rolled by another human based simply on the Argument from Authority?
If we both feel strongly about an issue, let's discuss the merits of all sides. And the first question I'll ask myself internally is: "How big of a deal is this to me?" If it's not that big of deal, let the other person have their way.
om
The prevailing headship clause as taught by the JWS, derived from the ancient religious teaching of the Israelites,
is similar to many of the very old religious cultured social beliefs in human history.
Woman were quite discerningly looked upon as second class subservient people as set in ancient civilizations and they
are still to this day in certain religious cultures. As far as the ancient Israelites, they weren't even allowed inside the temples of worship.
Another example, if you desired one woman but she thought otherwise, all a man had to do was rape her and make it known to her father,
pay the father a lump sum of money and she would instantly become his wife, even if she didn't agree with the arrangement herself.
So as far as seeing JW play the headship card, yes I saw allot of it particularly within my own family.
Its just another segment of why men love being a JWS, its bit more acknowledged power and control for themselves.
thetrueone: " Its just another segment of why men love being a JWS"
On the surface it may sound great, from a control-freak man's perspective, to be handed the mantle of authority over your family. But if anyone takes even a minute to look at how it plays out in real life, they realize it doesn't really work. Stories of JW wives that leave their oppressive JW husbands are a dime a dozen. The JW husband only has control as long as his wife continues to buy into it. In developed countries, truly "WT submissive" wives are very rare, IMO. JW husbands take note or suffer the consequences.
om
Stories of JW wives that leave their oppressive JW husbands are a dime a dozen.
Oh I agree Open Mind, but it is still a opertive working part of JW lifestyle.
Men are still the domineering gender in the congregations and this arrangement is strategically taught scripturally.
To what extent this domineering role playing occurs is assuringly going to be varied in every JW household though.
Even as a man I never agreed with the headship principle. It is a partnership, is it not? In a partnership, both parties should be equal.
I don't think my mother has ever really bought into the headship arrangement and she's been a jw since the 50's.
No.
JK
Just remembered another wrinkle in the Headship Principle which my wife and I haven't used, but I'll pass it along for general reference.
If Elders try to swoop down on a fading female JW with a bunch of questions trying to catch her off guard, she can pull out her can of "Headship Spray" and keep them at bay for at least a few days.
"I'm sorry, but out of respect for my Husband and the Headship Arrangement, I'm not really comfortable talking with you brothers without my Spiritual Head being present."
Anyone ever try that one?
om
I never bought into the " headship " thingie either. I always treated my ex-wife ( a JW ) as an equal in the 19 years we were together. One reason that she got pissed off at me- I wouldn't reach out for elders position and " take the lead ". She always kept telling me " You're my spiritual HEAD ! You need to do more in the congregation ! " I felt like telling her " Don't YOU have a head on your shoulders ? Use it. I respect your thoughts. " Anyway , things worked out fine in the end. Now I have a wife who feels comfortable being an equal partner with me. And vice versa
