The WT Headship Principle (tm): Did you ever REALLY buy it?

by Open mind 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  life is to short

  I did. I could kick myself now but that was why I always sat in the backseat in field service and let the men sit in the front. Did I like it heck no, but it was what the Bible said I was told and the brothers just expected it when we went to get in my car for service the men went to front it was how it was. Wearing a napkin on my head if I had to conduct for field service also seemed so stupid to me.

  In my marrigae I tried to stay equal, I think it worked OK expect for the religion then I was second, thrid, fourth, or fifth depending on who needed my husband at the time I was never first when it came to the religion.

  LITS
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  TheJigsUp

  I look at it this way, generally somebody has to take the lead.

  whether it be a sport, or an army, there generally needs to be descisive organised desicion maker, sometimes its the man, and sometimes its the woman.

  i think the part that is totally glossed over is the part where a man should treat his wife as himself. and thats the part where it all gets messed up.

  and thats when the domineering begins.

  also i might add, and importantly, if forinstance the manager of a team says the team should do this, or the team should do that. and the team disaggree, then the desicion is likely doomed to failure. There also has got to be a general consensus in the desicions being made.

  which brings us full circle back to partnership.

  oh f*** i dont know, i'll ask my wife then i'll get back to you.
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  Awen

  I never bought into it. I always saw it as a team effort. Having different reproductive organs does not make one person smarter or more capable than another. I've met plenty of Brothers who were dumb as bricks and their wives were constantly having to explain things to them or make excuses for their husband's stupidity, yet still be in submission to them.

  I've read too much Jewish and Christian history to see how this "principle" is just ripe for abuse and many times it has been. I think it's archaic and barbaric and has no place in a religion built upon love.
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  aquagirl

  Naw,I was 16 when I left,and saw my mom and sister be doormats.Actually wondered if I might be gay,cause the idea of a man being my "head' was sooo repulsive to me.When I got out into the real world,I found lots of men that were only to happy to let a stronger partner take the lead.Thats better for everyone I think.Consistant good decision making seals it.Not if one has a penis or not.
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  TheJigsUp

  good desicion makin AND a penis can seal it too

  *insert beavis and butthead laugh here*

  sorry couldnt resist
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  aquagirl

  I laughed too!!!! thanks!
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  TheJigsUp

  :)
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  Scully

  The Headship Principle™ was one of the most difficult teachings for me to swallow.

  I just could not accept the idea that being born without a penis made me an inferior human being. I hated the way some of the men in my home congregation used it to throw their weight around and treat their respective wives poorly. It bothered me when a husband and father would purchase expensive fishing equipment or electronics, while the wife and children came to the Kingdom Hall™ in hand-me-downs and second-hand store clothes and shoes. It bothered me when men exploited that scripture to behave like animals in their homes and expect the wife to clean up after them.

  One of the final straws for me was the realization that I didn't want my daughters to be brought up in a belief system that expected them to swallow that bull$h!t.
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  Awen

  I recall this sister I knew named Laurie who ended up marrying a new brother by the name of Walt. I liked Laurie and was unaware that she was looking for a husband. Had I known this I would have put more effort into my friendship with her as I thought she was such a compassionate and knowledgeable person. Along comes Walt, they click and they get married. I hung out with them both and was happy that they were happy. One day I was at their house and Walt was speaking to me about some spiritual matter when Laurie interjected into the conversation with her opinion. Walt immediately said "hey cna't you see that men are speaking here? Mind your tongue and wait until you're acknowledged."

  I was shocked. My first reaction was the wallop Walt in the jaw, but it wasn't my place. Instead I picked up on Laurie's comment and asked her to explain it more as I was just a dumb guy and didn't quite get what she said. So she told me her opinion and I thanked her and praised her for being such a good student of the Bible. I then told Walt how much I envied him for having such a capable wife and that he was so blessed.

  Walt paused a moment and then apologized to his wife for snapping at her. Laurie smiled at him and then at me. Later she thanked me for standing up for her.
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  NewChapter

  OPEN MIND:I'm sorry, but out of respect for my Husband and the Headship Arrangement, I'm not really comfortable talking

  with you brothers without my Spiritual Head being present." Anyone ever try that one?

  YES! It was great. Some elder's wives had the habit of picking apart a sister's comments and trying to make them personal. It really discouraged this person, cuz anytime she answered, it seemed like they were taking issue. THEN, there elder husbands would want to talk to her and "counsel" her to stop their wives from bitching. Last time they pulled it, she pulled the headship card, and postponed the "counsel" for 3 weeks. By then it had lost steam. And just to keep the record straight, her comments were NEVER veiled insults at these biddies. She was always so shocked that they would read them that way, and it often made her cry.

  I gave lip service to the headship principal, but I actually held it in derision. I remember sisters saying they couldn't go out after dark without their husbands, or they couldn't walk in the park alone, and I'd give the glassy eyed smile and say, "Oh, better not then", but inside I held them in contempt. I couldn't STAND when a grown woman acted like such a child. I knew, if anything happened to their heads, they wouldn't know how to act. Disgusting. Some of my savvier friends and I would, on occasion, used it to get out of situations. Then we'd just giggle.