Hello, All. I am new to this but, for years, I was already out. Don't know where to start. As I have read the many posting, I'm not alone in my feelings. I was brought up as a JW. I started going to school (elementary) in 1975. My brother proceeded me in 1974. I have 3 other siblings who are younger than us. Well, Mom said she studued as a teenager after her sister, 10 years her senior, was brutally murdered in the 1960's. She wanted feverishly to be reunited with her. Dad was devout Catholic. He eventually succumebed to the rhetoric and they were baptized in 1978. Upon my Dad's death in 2010, he told me he never really believed in it. But, it held the family together and kept us humble. No....the religion kept my parents in line. Paleeez!!!! We feared more than God himself. Jehovah might kill you at armageddon, but, my parents would kill you NOW!!!! Tehy were strict!
Well, time went on and I have graduated elementary (1980), graduted mid school (1984) graduated high school (1988) AND, of course, NO COLLEGE!!!! I was a part-time pioneer. College was a no-no!!! One of the reasons I'm so $#%&^ angry. I could've graduated rom one of the more prestigious schools imn the country with the great abilities I had to offer! I was smart as a whip! Could remember EVERYTHING!!! I had so much potential. My Dad saw it in all of us! But, the religion makes you a robot. That have computed that same idiot message for years....the world is ending soon! It's right around the corner! Be on the watch!!!
You tell me if it was time to leave?
Married 20 years and about to be divorced. Why? Husband and I got married TOO YOUNG! Of course, this is part of the JWS doing! He was Servant then, promoted to Elder. Then, 5 years later, the kids were born. They need to preach that a husband TAKES CARE OF HIS YOUNG FAMILY BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MAKE ELDER! This was foremost in the eyes of his family. APPEARANCES FIRST!!! Meaning all in the family had to achieve a higher-ground of pioneering and all the boys had to follow in the steps of Elder. Of course, later on in life to the demise of their marriages and families. My husband put 'family' on the back-burner. Thye kids would suffer because we would have them out in severe hot and cold temps for door-to-door work. I would be so tired after work and would have to go knocking on doors for at least 2 hours 3 days a week. Oh, not counting weekends!!! Weekends were HELL!!!! We would argue about my not getting out of bed on time for field service or the 9:30 AM meeting. I mean, literal screaming matches. I was belittled like a child everytime! Oh wait! This was the life of a witness. KEEP BUSY 7 DAYS A WEEK TO NOT BE TAKEN IN BY SATAN'S VICES. I was a &%^%$ slave...to him and this religion. Once, I told him, begged him, "I'm tired. I work 5 days a week, I'm up at 6am get off work at 6pm. I'm running to get the kids from the sitter (as not to be charged a late fee). Going BACK to the hall for the 7:30PM meeting (ooooh..I had HELL to pay if I was late to the meeting!). I get the kids home to eat, bathe, screw my husband, be up in the middle of the night with the kids (he never helped), start all over againthe same routine the next day. Saturday morning, I'm like the Evil Dead. Wake up at 7:30am, get kids ready....and the kids are tired and fussy from our schedules (oh!, husband at restaurant having breakfast and sipping wonderful hot cup of coffee and reading the paper), stay out in field 4 hours and sometimes longer (because I had to make up my time from taking SOOOOO many breaks with the kids!). Get home to rest. Oh, snap!!! Can't do that! Gotta have the Family Study for 1 hour!!! Dare not dose off or the kids be moody. Screw husband again (get treated like a scorned child later for not having my WATCHTOWER perfectly lines and written out in the margins literature). Sunday morning: Up at 6am (because husband says I'm slow so I can't sleep in) get kids ready (oh, husband out again having breakfast, hot coffee and reading newspaper). It's 8:55am. One of the kids messes up clothes or has to 'potty' at last minute. Husband outside FURIOUSLY blowing horn for us to come outside to the car to drive 18 miles to the hall (oh, husband didn't want to transfer halls because his parents and friends go there. He is an Elder there and the other Elders at this congregation have made him believe should he leave this hall, he won't be used to his FULL potential anywhere else..) UNBELIEVABLE!!!! I'm fussed at all the way there, in tears, about being on time. We have to cross 3 expressways to get to the hall...in SNOW! The whole meeting, I have no help from him with the kids. We argue about me sitting in Mother's Room for 80% of meeting (yes, I was napping). While he is in office at the hall 'doing accounts' he also plays with other friend's kids or standing in the hallway chatting with his friends while I am mercifully tagged by 2 toddlers. We go out in Field Service after meeting for 2 hours. The kids and I are famished!!!!! But, I'm scolded about getting up on time and eating breakfast. And this was the role....weekend, weekout. He told me, 'so what. This is what you're supposed to do." I sat on the floor and cried.
This went on FOR YEARS!!!! Fianlly, one day I wike up! I'm not going out in Field Service today. I'm tired. Bump the APPEARANCES GAME!!!! Jehovah blessed me with good looks, I must say. But, now I was starting to look 'haggard', as do alot of sisters do as their husbands look nice and spiffy in their beautiful suits, polished leather shoes, monogramed cuffs and cuff-linked shirts. Oh, you're a great family then.
I stopped going and doing the JW APPEARANCE and DANCE I had done for soooooooooo long! Now, I look great, feel great and now need to remove my kids from this non-sense so that they can lead full and productive lives.
And the husband....no-longer an Elder. Let him tell it...he stepped down to help his family. And is also begging me stay in a marriage after he has belittled me to EVERYONE JEHOVAH'S WITNESS thru the years! He had the 'polished life as an Elder. Hung out with other Elders and Servants, stayed out late and stayed drunk all the time, continually accused of being with other women and I, the dutiful Christian wife, got treated like the scum of the earth!!!!!!
SCREW HIM AND THIS RELIGION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!