I really don't know how to just tell my mom that I dont want to do be a JW, I mean I really shouldn't have to tell her if she'd actually pay attention to my attitude everytime she goes on a religious rant, but she chooses to stay blind and keeps making me go to that place and sit through meetings that I don't agree with on most occasions...I think that she thinks that if she keeps making me go then I'll miraculously have a change of heart and want to stay in (Which will never happen). I don't want to be disrepectful about it but since she obviously doesn't care about my feelings towards it, then why should I care if I hurt her feelings in the process, you know? I just really don't know what to do, everytime I go to that place I feel fake because everthing they instruct us not to do, I've pretty much done it or will do it with no remorse, and I don't care either way. I just want my freedom to choose, and not be told this is what you're going to do because I'm doing. I mean she chose to do it, why can't I? I'm 18, an accountable age, why dont I get that choice? I swear I hate that place...
Needs help telling my mom that I dont want to be apart of her religion
by LovelyEunie 35 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
sabastious
What does your mother believe is going to happen to you if you are not a JW?
-Sab
-
leavingwt
I'm 18, an accountable age,
If you are financially dependent upon her, then you can expect her to impose her wishes upon on some of your actions.
There is no real upside (at this point) to revealing your true feelings to your mother. In fact, she could give you the boot if she knew how you really felt.
I would continue putting up with the BS until you are on your own and financially independent. You are mentally free and that's what's important.
I hope things improve for you.
-
looloo
have you always felt this way? or did something open your eyes to the hypocrisy in the cult and that makes it unbearable , try reading some books and leave them around the house about young women in other religions who left those religions , ie not without my sisters by christina jones (i think ) and escape by carrolynn jessop , good luck and well done for not being a robot xx
-
VIII
^^^^ What LTW said.
Oh, and go to college. Community college. I know, I know, they don't saction it. *They* don't have to. It is your life and your future. Pay your own way. Take out loans, work part-time, etc. Do what ever you have to.
And, a plus side, home work and class time are a perfect excuse to not go to the KH or out in FS. Another way to get out of going? The campus library. You need to research a paper and the book is at the library on campus.
Think about it.
It worked for me. Honest.
-
NewChapter
She will never give up hope as long as she is captive. You can move away, but she will always look for opportunities to witness to you. She will listen to years of stories from the platform about husbands that have come in to the "truth" after 50 years, children that return to the "truth" after leaving home, living a horribly worldly life, and coming to their senses, Parents who opposed their children but were so touched by their good behavior, decided to give the WT a chance.
She believes it is your only hope, and the only way to survive armageddon. She sees the world as a violent and scary place and is worried that you are in it. You can tell her straight out that you want nothing to do with the KH, but she will not believe you. She will continue looking for an opening.
It's just the way it is. As long as you are dependent on her, you may have to play the game. Does she give you any options? It is nearly impossible to set up boundaries if you are still under her authority. 18 is a tough time, you are legally an adult, but depending on your circumstances, you may still be under obligation to obey your parents.
-
LovelyEunie
@Sebastious: That I'm going to become apart of "The World", and we can't have that now, can we?
@looloo: I started feeling this way once I turned 14, I started thinking for myself and not hanging on every word I was told from my mom or JW's.
@VIII: Yeah I thought about doing that too once I started college next month. If it gets me out of having to go to that place then I'm all for it.
-
sabastious
@Sebastious: That I'm going to become apart of "The World", and we can't have that now, can we?
Will she fear for your life?
-Sab
-
LovelyEunie
@NewChapter: The only option I was given by her was basically I had to serve Jehovah in her house until it's time for me to move out. So since I'm financially ready to be on my own...I'm just stuck between a rock and a hard place since my opinons towards the religion don't matter to her, in her head I'm just going be wrong everytime unless I do things god's way.
Weird thing about it everyone, is that I kinda told her in a nice way that 'My head wasn't in it', and she told me okay I understand, but then when it came time for the KH I point blank looked her in the eyes and told her I didn't want to go, she told me that I don't get to make that decision while I'm living under her roof, and that unless I'm sick, I was going to with her and sit there like a good little JW kid (even though I'm far from being a child...). Now anyone see how messed up that was from what she originally told me???
-
diamondiiz
All above advises are good. If you're living at home the best thing for you is get your education done so you can be financially independent from your family. You can drop hints that may make your mom think twice about some aspects of the cult but until you're ready to leave the nest just play along. Collage may give you a lot of opportunity to miss meetings and if that excuse works, use it. At 18 you have your entire life ahead of you and if you can make the best of it now to prepare yourself for the good future sometimes sacrifice isn't all that bad. Patients sometimes pays off.