Needs help telling my mom that I dont want to be apart of her religion

by LovelyEunie 35 Replies latest jw experiences

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  LovelyEunie

  @frigginconfused: 18 is too young to expect anyone that age to support themselves with ease.

  @Nugget: I did approach her in that way. We were talking about JW stuff and I just calmly told her that I know this is the life that you want from me and I'm thankful that you have my best interest at heart but, truly my head is just not in it (which was the nice way of me telling her I have no intention of following the JW lifestyle), in which then she told me that it was fine and that she understood where I was coming from, and she seemed like she did, and here I thought we had reached some type of understanding, that is until she completely took back everything she said to make sure I stay under her watchful eyes so things don't go like it did with my sister.

  @White Dove: I know it doesn't end, my sister's living proof, but I feel like since I'm probably going to be in their house until I'm 21 (if all else fails I want to be gone by 19 or 20) then I should at least get a choice while I'm trying to still be respectful to my mom. Because if I'm still being told that I have to be a JW at 20 then all respect is lost at that point.
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  NewChapter

  I know that minor children can go out in service with their parents. At what age does that end? At what point do you need to be approved as a publisher to continue working in service. I'd recommend you not get approved!
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  Joey Jo-Jo

  unzombiefying a JW is not that easy, they want to do the preaching and when you do the preaching to them their cult like brain shuts down and restarts once you are finish, I was amazed of the things I said to my parents that went into the left ear and came out the right, the trick is to let them stumble upon their own wording and reading of the bible, what black sheep wrote and skeeter1 wrote I would do....

  You could show her that Awake about freedom of religion august 2009 I think.
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  Witness My Fury

  Are you baptised? It makes a hell of a difference if you are. I didnt see it in any of your posts. If you are not baptised you are in a very good position indeed.

  Either way, just have that conversation with your mum and say you have doubts and it all seems a bit thin (the strength of the org being Gods sole chanel etc etc). That way you have set the ground work for a fade. No ministry. No meeting parts. Just go once a week for a few months. Then cut it down more. Or if you cant take it anymore then stop cold turkey but cause more family distress short term.
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  LovelyEunie

  So everyone I got caught on this site by my dad (thank god is wasn't my mother) yesterday and that enabled a converstation about how I actually felt about being a JW, and I literally poured my heart out to the point where I sounded completely angry but that was because I'd been holding in for the longest time. To my surprise everything went better than expected. He even told me that he didn't agree with everything JW's taught, which suprised me because he never said that to me or my mom ever before. I told him what my mom did when I tried to tell her first, and then he proceeded to tell me that she shouldn't have done that but since I came out with it that he would talk to my mother about it. I'm actually glad he caught me on this site, it worked out for me in the end lol

  @NewChapter: Technically I should've been approved when I was about 8 years old, but I have no clue what happened to that. Now I'm glad I never was approved!

  @Joey Jo-Jo: I'm thinking of showing my mom that scripture that says something about how didn't want us to be mindless drones following him and how he wanted to have independent thinking actually...That should work as well.

  @Witness My Fury: I'm not baptized nor do have the intention of getting baptized. Don't really want to go through that whole shunning thing.
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  Band on the Run

  I am glad for you. Perhaps Jesus led your dad to the computer screen. It reminds me of my own story. I faced horrific abuse from my JW father growing up. I was the oldest and the scapegoat. He despised me. One night when I was thirteen, he beat my brother and sister terribly. I was confused about my inate badness but I was very clear about my brother and sister. Her face was all messed up from the hard slaps. My bro, very he man type, cried. So I wrote to Seventeen, the teen fashion mag. They had an advice column. I sent the letter through a girlfriend.

  I looked for a reply in the mag but those letters are created by them, I now know. They sent me a private letter to my friend;s house. It said my situation was sad. I could get help through a local social welfare office. The letter had all the contact info. I ran to a public phone far from home. Every time it rang, I had visions of Jehovah striking me dead with lightning for not being obedient. I was very conflicted. The phone was hung up repeatedly. I crumpled the letter and hid it in my room. If my mother or father knew, I knew I would die. My mom was a famous espionage agent, snooping all the time as she supposedly cleaned. She found the letter and was shocked. When she told me, I thought my life on earth was over. Do you know that she announced that she found it, called the agency, saw the social worker and we would go together for counselling. Jesus delivers or Seventeen delivers!

  Best wishes on an exciting, productive and joyful life, free of the Witnesses. Maybe someday you will return. It will be your decision. Personally, I thought people telling you to move out at age eighteen were not realistic. Apartments and freedom require cash. Lots of it and in a consistent fashion. It was great that you reached out here. Keep up that spunk and you will have a good life.