Get a job. Move out. SUpport yourself. Be an adult.
Needs help telling my mom that I dont want to be apart of her religion
by LovelyEunie 35 Replies latest jw experiences
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VIII
My mom still witnesses to me and still sends me the WT and Awakes. I throw them in the trash. I sometimes put the phone on mute and unmute it when I figure she is done witnessing. I was not DFd so perhaps she is counting her time.
As for college, all I can say is "IT WORKS!". Seriously, when you say you have to go to the library because you have to research something and no, you can't use online research, you really need to get up and go. As for FS, use school as an excuse. If you have to meet with the geek club to do it, try. Anything to not to have to go pound on doors will make it worth it. A big plus will be the friends you'll make.
I've learned that once I paid my bills, my mom was happy I could. It is a lot easier to preach to me when I'm paying my own way.
Good luck!!
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LostGeneration
my opinons towards the religion don't matter to her
This will never change. They consider the religion to be a literal fountain of youth and while mind controlled she won't understand why you will not partake. That is why it ends up being an either/or situation. You will either have to keep going while living there or you will have to move out. Otherwise you will have to be "sick" quite a bit or like a previous poster suggested have something else in the way to take up your time like college or work.
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nugget
It is hard not only to tell them but also to get them to listen to what you say. The way I approached the topic with my mum was to tell her first that I loved her and appreciated all the effort she had put into bringing me up. I told her that I was having doubts about the religion and whilst I respected her right to believe what she wanted to believe I could not share those beliefs with her.
This may not be easy for her to hear but you would rather tell her now before you make the irrevockable step of baptism. If you agree to disagree now she can still maintain contact with you. The society encourages younger ones to get baptised leading to much grief later when they decide not to follow this religion. 18 is still young to make your own way in the world so what ever happens use the time you have to build friendships and support outside the org. Also do what you can to be in a position to be financially independent of your mum so you will be able to support yourself.
In the meantime see if you can work on a compromise such as you will attend memorial and special talks but not the weekly grind and you will not embarrass her by your actions whilst still living at home.
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wannabefree
You mentioned in your introductory post that your father was not a Witness. Perhaps I missed it, but is your dad still in your life? Can he help you out with this situation?
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NewChapter
I'm just stuck between a rock and a hard place since my opinons towards the religion don't matter to her, in her head I'm just going be wrong everytime unless I do things god's way.
Exactly! Accept this, and you can move on. What you say will NEVER matter unless you agree with her, or she wakes up. And I mean that in spiritual matters only, in other areas of life, I'm sure she is much more reasonable. Of course it doesn't make sense that you would sit at the hall and not really be there. That doesn't matter to her. What matters to her is she is following her god's direction as dictated by the governing body. She is trusting her god to do the rest.
VII's post is great. you can see that the witnessing never stops, but there are some great ideas for limiting the punishment. I wish ya the best. I hate to think of you moving out if you are not ready---so make lots of mature decisions and ask for guidance as you make plans for your future! Go to college!
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White Dove
Moving out on one's own at age 18 is very expensive. I can't imagine the stress and worry of making all the bills at that age.
Most 18 year olds can only get teenage jobs that don't pay a living wage. College and working full time don't mix.
College is a great place to start and can make you miss meeings:)
However, you might still need to stay with your mom until graduation.
I say might, because I don't know your income circumstances.
I just hate it when someone tells a teenager to suddenly become independent.
That is just myopic.
It is so good that you saw the religion for what it really is early in your life and didn't become like a lot of us here, stuck in for years after becoming an adult, until we saw the truth of the troof.
PS I am 42, live 1,200 miles from my parents, and my family still gets all fanatical about it with me, fearing mine and my kids' deaths at Armageddon.
It never ends, no matter how old you are.
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Mad Sweeney
I second New Chapter's question. What about dad? Is he in the picture? Could you live with him while attending college? If he's still at the same home with your mom, his word should be the last word, not hers. Can you get him to help you?
Good luck!
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White Dove
Good point, Mad Sweeney!
In the JW religion, the father has the last say.
You might be able to use that, if he is in the picture.
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Heaven
LE... as long as you live in your parent's house, you have to live by their rules. Time to get out.
Do you have your driver's license? If not go get it.
In my teen years I knew I wasn't interested in this religion. I put my plan together. I moved out and away at age 19, having worked a lot of my teen years to save for College. I rented a room; later on some students and I moved into a house we rented together. I worked through College at a part-time job.
Got a summer job at the company I now work for during College and then got hired full time.
It can be done but you have to take what you can get if you want to get away from the controlling nature of this religion and get your own life.
Around the age of 45 I had to tell my Father straight that I wasn't going to be a JW. You'd think he would have figured that out by that point.