Today, I had the misfortune of needing to use the toilet at my gym. As I entered, I immediately noticed an unusually foul stench, similar to the smell of decaying flesh. I then overheard sounds that gave the impression that a man was giving birth in one of the stalls. I fled the restroom without using it, as I knew then that "Armageddon [was] just around the corner," and in this case, I did not want to experience the "Great Tribulation" that was likely to occur when this gentleman discharged a large loaf of "the Truth" in the porcelain vehicle that would transport this "fine spiritual food" to its final resting place, the city sewer, where all of the "Truth" espoused by the Jehovah's Witnesses belongs.
Witnesses are saying "END IS RIGHT NOW!"
by free2beme 104 Replies latest jw friends
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Heaven
You guys are too funny!
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straightshooter
JWs look for the bad in the world to prove that Armageddon is soooo close. They look for the bad in everything to show why people have to have the Kingdom blessing they hold out. But sadly they miss the good that also occurs in peoples lives and in the world.
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d
I imagine with the union protests in Wisconsin are getting serious and their are reports that it is spreading.I imagine the witness are going to be too happy when they this.
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Mary
*sits and waits for The End to start.....any second now.........* (looks at Visa bill and weeps)......Come oooooonnnnnn lucky seven----I mean, Armageddon!
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d
Gas prices are going up as the Unrest in Libya continues.Armageddon must be near.The Witness say this amongst themselves
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Mary
I am now accepting donations for my Visa bill the Worldwide Witnessing Work. Cash only and no receipts will be given. You'll get it back 10-fold if you giveth to me now.
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Finally-Free
(looks at Visa bill and weeps)......Come oooooonnnnnn lucky seven----I mean, Armageddon!
Only a VISA bill? You're doing better than me...
W
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jgnat
I've fantasized about setting up a bet with a Witness to put this sort of foolishness to rest. But a lifetime of living in the moment can't be shut down with a little humiliation. I've been reading the consequences of constantly living in the moment in The Time Paradox by Philip Zimbardo. People living in the present don't plan ahead and have poor impulse control. You'll be better off just by anticipating a future to work for.
So...can you see any flaws in this bet? Ask the fearmonger, on the outside, how long they think the world could last. Ten years? Fine. Mark the day on your calendars. Plan to go for a beer on the day. In the meantime, the optimist puts an American Buffalo under his mattress. For the same duration, the fearmonger is to make monthly installments in a mutual fund, ten years to maturation, to a value of $1,000. The futurist makes the fearmonger a beneficiary of the dollar, and the fearmonger similarly for the mutual fund. If they make it to beer day, the fearmonger hands over his earnings.
The only flaw I see in this bet is that the fearmonger will continue to look for "signs" he is right for the next ten years. That's a whole lot of pessimism building up.