A little background on me, I have never been a JW. My spouse was born and raised in the Cult, disfellowshipped as a young adult and is now completely shunned by family still trapped inside. Before I met my spouse I knew very little about the JW’s. Seeing the way my spouse was treated made me want to learn as much as I could about the religion. The more I researched the more shocked I became. The average person knows very little about what really goes on inside the Jehovah’s Witnesses. So keep speaking out about your experiences, the public needs to be warned about these extremist groups.
I’m currently in a precarious situation. I’m talking to a relative of my spouse and giving the relative the impression that I’m a interested “study”. Yes it’s slightly dishonest, I have no real intention of joining their doomsday cult. But their recruitment tactics are also slightly dishonest, they are not forthcoming with “wordly” people about some of the more extreme beliefs. I also know that this is the only way I can talk to him about his religion without him getting defensive and basically shutting down mentally. The reason why I’ve begun the study is that I actually feel for my spouses relatives. If the situation were reversed and I was the one who had been raised in a high control doomsday group, I would want someone to try and gently show me that there is real freedom beyond the imaginary walls the cult has created and dubbed as “spiritual protection”. I don’t want to reveal too much personal info on this forum, the in-laws have no idea that I’m a scary “apostate” who thinks their religion is a dangerous cult. If they knew that, the opportunity to have an open discussion would be gone. I know they would quickly retreat back to the perceived safety of the group, with a juicy story to tell about the demonz using someone to tempt them from the “Truth”. Basically what I’m doing with my in-law is playing stupid, so that I can get him to explain some of the more illogical beliefs to me. I’m hoping that as he explains things out loud to someone who knows the right questions to ask he’ll begin to slowly realize that a lot of the things he’s been taught and forced to accept without question are not actually based on logic or reason.
I realize that a few paragraphs will not be able to explain exactly how I feel and what my motivation is, but perhaps I would say I’m slightly idealistic. As I told my spouse, I know that there are all kinds of injustices going on around the world, but this happens to be the biggest injustice that I see going on in my immediate environment right now. I see my in-laws being abused emotionally with the use of fear and guilt. I see them being indoctrinated with phobias so that they won’t escape from the group. I see their critical thinking skills being discouraged. Worst of all I see another generation of impressionable young children being indoctrinated into a very dangerous group that uses emotional blackmail to keep them from peacefully walking away. I think if someone has the capability to help those around them then they have a requirement to at least attempt to help. Because I now do know so much about what goes on in their religion and due to the fact that I also still have the label of “potential recruit” on me I think I’m in a unique position to help, even if only slightly. I know to not expect dramatic results, but if I can introduce just the tiniest bit of logic into their crazy world view then I can walk away saying I did all I realistically could.
I’ve read “Combating Cult Mind Control” although I can’t seem to find it right now. I remember it said attempt to talk to the persons pre-cult identity. What if they were born into the cult, how would you approach it then? I’ve been careful to avoid issues over doctrine. It feels like I’m walking through a minefield when I talk to him about the religion, I don’t want to make a wrong move. Any kind of advice would be useful. I know I only have a short window of time, if I keep bringing up difficult questions I’m sure I’ll eventually be dropped or he will suspect I’ve been reading “apostate” material. Keep in mind that I’m talking to a young man in his twenties. If you were in my shoes and you truly cared about the person’s well being how would you approach it? Looking back at when you were still in the religion, what could a “study” or friend have brought up that might have momentarily stopped you in your tracks and caused you to actually think, instead of just parroting back the preprogrammed answer that’s been provided by the Watchtower?