sd-7 Where Are You?

by zoiks 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • sd-7
    sd-7
    So she's a stay at home mom?

    Yes.

    Actually, that's not bad advice, baltar447, I'm just not into the whole threat stuff. But that is a pretty good idea.

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    This is from the onion sportsdome (a show mocking sportscenter as well as the onion mocks news outlets.) I found this both hilarious as well as sadly familar. Start watching at the 4:40 spot.

    http://www.zshare.net/video/8631726782678ea1/

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    I agree with baltar I believe wing commander gave similar advice, Forgive me if I'm mistaken.

  • zoiks
    zoiks

    Thanks for checking in and filling us in as well.

    Next time maybe I'll use a less attention-grabbing PM.

    I have no advice for you that has not already been given...glad to see that this sector still does [not] exist.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Dude, Baltar's right. Enough with the passive-aggressive crap and man up. It isn't a threat if you actually have the balls to make good on it.

    YOU are HEAD of the house. SHE depends on YOU for EVERYthing. And you let her push you around. Stop it. Take charge. Either get her to hold up her end of the marriage bargain or get the heck OUT.

  • nugget
    nugget

    SD-7 it is not all your fault and you and your wife created this situation so she needs to take some blame too. If you have a 3hr commute every day and she is a stay at home mum then she needs to stop asking you to run to the store after work it is not fair and she needs to appreciate it. If you are falling asleep at the wheel and exhausting yourself you are not thinking properly and it cannot go on.

    When I was first Df'd I felt I was dealing with things well but rarely slept the whole night I would wake in the early hours just with thoughts buzzing away. I was tired all the time and people outside the family began to notice I was not coping as well as normal. This weekend I visited my mum for the first time since being Df'd and following this visit I have slept soundly for the first time in months. I realised the unresolved business with my mum was not helping me and it was only confronting my fear of rejection that I could heal.

    You have to be honest with her in an ideal world she should make sure that she has planned her shopping and if she runs out of something go without until the next time she can shop. If she struggles to do the grocery shop then she needs to learn to shop on line and get it delivered in this day and age struggling with bags is unnecessary.

    During the week she needs to keep house, clean the counters and accept that you have worked and driven and are tired that home is where you go to relax not start second job. At the weekend you are more than happy to help but there is a limit to what you do without killing yourself.

    If she wants to go to the meetings could she not get a lift from someone else? I suggest that something comes up at work a couple of times meaning she has to make alternative arrngements then suggest that these arrangements stick as they work for you both. you are not a taxi.

    The hardest word to use is the no word. We are more comfortable using yes but often we shouldn't. You need to start saying no to her. you need to ask her to let you rest. I have two children and a husband, I work part time and manage the home and look after 2 children one of whom is autistic and very demanding. husbands job is to stack the dishwasher after dinner and make cups of tea that is it anything else is a bonus. Not everything gets done as we speak I have a world record pile of ironing and when I tackle it he will help out a little more to clear my time to focus on it. Life is give and take

    It seems that she thinks that when you come home she goes off duty but if she has no work outside the home she is being unrealistic and sad to say selfish. she may not even be aware of it as this is the way it has been and both of you have not questioned it until now. You need to talk, tell her how you feel, tell her how exhausted you are and ask for her help.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Well, dear heart, you now have a second opinion from a wife and mother that completely agrees with me...Told ya I'm always right, LOL!

    Only you can change things, but it has to be done in your own time. See you on email tomorrow.

  • poopsiecakes
    poopsiecakes

    Some great advice here, darlin (I do loves me some Nugget). Hang in there and stand on up!

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