by losthobbit 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
when doctrine and fundamentalism clashed
with my maternal instincts, i pretty much had
determined that any god that would have me
sacrifice THE most fundamental bond on the
planet would not have me as an adherent
never looked back
never been more alive
Hi losthobbit and welcome (again)!
As I became a teenager, many things did not sit well with me. It is during these years that you really start formulating your own opinions and viewpoints and look to your future as an adult. Kids sure have a way of smelling BS when they hear it!
Many doctrines did not sit well with me, including the blood policy and the subjugation of women. I did not know about the blood policy prior to my teen years, neither did I know about subjugation of women. The red "Your Youth" book did not endear the religion to me in any way.
My Mom tried to guilt / scare me into doing the Field Serve-Us with the threat that I risk my eternal life. I asked her to show me the specific scriptures that stated one must be a Jehovah's Witness and do the door-to-door work handing out the publications in order to guarantee eternal salvation. She was unable to do this. Since she really never did the door-to-door work, it was never brought up again.
OMG! I haven't seen any mags in months but I think you're right. They are alluding to Twilight. ROFLMAO
For me there have been numerous things that slowly began to errode my confidence in this organization. But, believe it or not, I read the Twilight books in the spring of 2009 and they plunged me into such a pit of despair and hopelessness. I thought my life was over and I had nothing left to look forward to but the same humdrum existence. I mentioned this to my therapist (yes I had a therapist trying to undo all the emotional damage caused by the WBTS but I still didn't see it as their fault) and she said if I felt I had lost my zeal for life, perhaps it was my faith that was lacking. I looked at her like she had two heads that shared a forked tongue. My thoughts: "Well, you just don't understand. I have no choice." So I left her office figuring on never going back. But she planted a seed that finally germinated.
AND I OWE IT ALL TO TWILIGHT!!
It really is a multi-part question for most people. There is an accumulation of issues that finally becomes too great to accept anymore. There are a small handful of those issues that one finds most significant. And finally, there is a "last straw" that opens one's mind, allowing him or her to really consider the issues that have been stewing on the back burner all that time.
For me, the last straw to break the mental grip the organization had on me was a meeting a couple elders had with me, counseling me about questioning decisions of the body. In that meeting I was told by this pair of men that to question them was to challenge Jesus Christ himself and that thinking I knew better than the spirit-appointed body of elders indicated my character had the flaw of pride.
The worst thing about their view was that it was the organization's view; they didn't just make it up. They showed BorgLit and twisted scriptures to support their viewpoint.
So even though the thing I had criticized was my professional area of expertise and nobody on the body had any experience in this particular field, I was portrayed as wrong for questioning.
It still took me a few years to get physically out but from that day on I was able to look at "apostate" books and websites guilt-free. My mind was freed; the Watchtower's way was NOT God's way.
But looking back, that final straw was just a culmination of a lot of little things, and the beginning of a subsequent education about "the truth" that informed my decision to finally leave and never go back for any reason.
Over the years (I was born in) I learned to evaluate the B.S I was forced to listen to, I rejected what was patently nonsense, and that which I knew to be in error.
In the end a good 90% proved to be in the error camp.
The final straw was the Governing Body usurping the place of Jesus Christ and demanding loyalty and blind submission to them , which amounts to demanding worship of them, which is something they now shrilly shout for on every occasion.
If they had any kind of belief or faith in Jesus or the Bible ,they would not dare to do thus.
A very good question. I was brought up in the organisation from about 4 so it was my terms of reference. Even though brought up in the religion I always had doubts, global floods, 6,000 years for creative days, destruction of everyone who was not a JW at the big A, vilification of homosexuals, disfellowshipping for minor offenses. At the back of my mind I knew I could not discuss these doubts with anyone but felt I was permitted to hold them. I always thought that the GB were imperfect they made mistakes, god would put it right and they were sincere, godly people so they would do what the spirit led them to do. I believed the core doctrines and genuinely believed that they were right the rest was just decoration and I was prepared to wait on Jehovah.
It was when I had children and started to think about the very profound affect the religion was having on them that I was open to having my belief system challenged. My husband woke up first and was very relentless and questioning. I did have to reign him back because too much information made me defensive and annoyed and I wasn't always listening. But when we took it step by step I was horrified. I remember sitting in the car with him after having read coc and steve hassan just saying "shit" endlessly. It was the realisation that it was politics, money and publicity that ruled what was doctrine. That the GB were prepared to lie to the rank and file, that they recklessly misquoted scientists and used occultists to support doctrines. That there was no humilty in the organisation and that those in power could manipulate congregations and people.
Reading personal stories disgusted me on a level I could not describe, to see how much injustice and cruelty is done in the name of god I could not be a part of it. This religion asks so much of it's followers but gives so little as a mother I had to get out for the sake of my children.
I always felt that there were triggers that if not met would cause me to leave. I was born in and knew about the generation thing. No matter how they spent it the generation teaching put a finite cap on the BORG. In time as the 90's rolled around (close to 80 yrs since 1914) people were expecting something (namely the BIG A and destruction of billions;-) When they started to 'adjust' the generation teaching its like the writing was on the wally just a matter of decyphering it. Just as mene mene tickle tinkle had to be interpretated by daniel I believe the generation change had to have an effect on those in who witness the BS snowjob that was going on.
What really pushed me over the edge (other than the betrayal of my best 'friend') was the 12/15/04 (maybe 03) WT where they spoke of noah's day. They made the usual comparison to our time than they said how just as noah got the word from god and than preached/built the ark for 120 yrs today some 90 yrs have past since 1914?!?
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could not believe that after teaching that a generation was 70-80 yrs and changing that they would have the audacity to give themselves an extra 30 fugging years for the big A to come SMDH! I went to people like can you believe this and not only where they clueless to the nuanced change they said it didn't matter.
If an organization is going to speak on things and try to corelate prophsies with their teaching system damn'it stand by those teachings.
Hobbitt:
For most of us who left, it wasn'tljust one thing... it was a series of things over time until we reached the tipping point.
If you're going to research ex-dubs, it will help you to understand "cognitive dissonance." If you're not familiar with the concept, look it up. It explains everything.
I started actually "thinking" for the first time in my life. That is opposed to what witnesses do, which is to relinquish all responsibility for thought and decisions to the religion. I began to whiteboard what I actually knew was real and reanylized all of the big questions that religion attempts to answer. What is the nature of man, where did we come from, where are we going, the nature of God and the universe. The more I used logic the more I realized how ludicrous the Witness teachings were.
Hello Losthobbit,
Great post and comments!
"Truth stands by itself, it doesn't need constant reaffirmation. Anything that collapses by itself once you stop feeding it, is not worth having in the first place. Truth is something you feel inside, that is personal to each one of us, and that grows day by day as you live life." - Way to go Millions! I'm keeping a copy of this, hope you don't mind. It's a classic.
Punkofnice, I'd place that fingered 'washtowel' door to door in a New York minute!
clarity
