I am most concerned about XH's friend, the registered sex offender. Is he allowed to be near children, according to the laws and the conditions of his sentence? That is a question you need to discuss with your attorney. Protecting your children comes first. Ask if it is possible to get a protective order keeping that "friend" away from your children.
Im trully beside myself..
by Searchn4answrs 33 Replies latest jw friends
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cyberjesus
Sorry to hear your dillema, welcome to the board.
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Searchn4answrs
Thank you all ,for insight and personal experiences. Jgnat ,your perspective,is thoroughly appreciated .
I have in the past ,brought up the sex offender character,in court. He was instructed,to keep the children away from this individual. His response to that ,was that as a minister of god,he constanly ;through the field ministry comes into contact with these types of downtrodden people. The judge said his religious rights were not going to be discussed in his court room ;And ordered him not to subject his children to dangerous situations. Fastfoward to today,the sex offender is still allowed around my children . As a matter of fact they go on outings and gatherings ,where he is present .
As far as taking it to the elders,I have tried that. I was told they would not consider any type of Legal matters . Further,I was asked if I still considered myself a witness.( Im ashamed,to say ..To that I said yes) I left . Attempted a phone call to the CO. That was a dead end. I figure as long as he's the active witness affiliated parent. In their eyes, thats all that matters.I dont expect any thing more from a very male-centric organization.
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GLTirebiter
I have in the past ,brought up the sex offender character,in court. He was instructed,to keep the children away from this individual. His response to that ,was that as a minister of god,he constanly ;through the field ministry comes into contact with these types of downtrodden people. The judge said his religious rights were not going to be discussed in his court room ;And ordered him not to subject his children to dangerous situations. Fastfoward to today,the sex offender is still allowed around my children . As a matter of fact they go on outings and gatherings ,where he is present.
Based on what you said, I repeat my previous advice: consult an attorney and see what can be done to keep him away from your son.
As far as taking it to the elders,I have tried that. I was told they would not consider any type of Legal matters. Further,I was asked if I still considered myself a witness.
They are putting you on the spot, having to choose between the organization or your son's safety. Your maternal instincts know what the right choice is. Listen to them, not to the elders!
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Searchn4answrs
At this point Im considering trying to go to the elders again.I dont understand how this so called man of god can be so cruel to the only people who will ever love him unconditionally. He's only had them for several days this year. And is now filing for joint custody. I seriously feel ,that since he knows he's intimidated my lawyer ,he's become even more delusional. He actually served me with papers ,petitionig to get the kids 1/2 time..Mind you yesterday was his scheduled pick up and he no showed! So I will be going to court to fight for custody. Im considering booting the lawyer and doing it on my own.
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Mad Sweeney
Don't do it on your own. Just get a competent lawyer who will fight for you and your kids.
Also, keep meticulous records of EVERY no show and violation of the current agreement the ex-husband makes.
Thanks for the update. Sorry your attorney sucks. There are around a million more you can choose from though, fortunately.
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Searchn4answrs
In your humble opinion ,is going to his elders even worth the aggravation??
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Georgiegirl
No, it's not worth the aggravation. For what? So they tell him to be a better father? He won't. And even if he did, and started being the father he SHOULD be, that just means your children will be further exposed to the toxicity that is the JW congregation - the belief system, the indoctrination, AND the registered sex offender. Hell no. Again, FOR WHAT????
Document everything (sounds like you are doing that - good for you). Consider a lawyer who is not just a student. Look into high powered expensive attorneys - because many of them do pro bono work. Get on the phone and start making calls. Handle this through the legal system.
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Searchn4answrs
Not sure if I should start another thread for this question...Is it common to have watchtower lawyers represent a parent in a custody case???
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NewChapter
I can't answer that for sure, but I think not. At least not in my area. Also, where I live in the US, it is extremely difficult to have visitation taken away from a parent. You may disagree with his religious beliefs, but he has a right to practice it. Now the sexual offender friend is interesting, you need to keep any contact well document. Still, if you can't prove the children are in danger, he will get to see them. Even if you do prove they are in danger, he will get to see them under supervision until he convinces the court he is no longer a danger. Then it's back to normal.
I know it's frustrating--we want the best for our kids. But a born-again christian might think it's unhealthy for the children to be with their catholic parent and viseversa. Also, just not showing up for visits is a frustration many parents deal with, but again, they end up just having to deal with it.
I may have missed some details, and I'm not a lawyer, but I've found myself needing to research these things for several reasons. However it may all be unique to the area I live in. Different court systems have different standards. My ex tried to bring up religion when going for custody. The judge cut him short and said that was not a consideration he would take up in his decision.
It's a really big deal to cut a parent's rights. Only the most extreme circumstances accomplishes it. You wouldn't want your children to experience the extreme circumstances. In one case of proven abuse,a parent I know was only able to limit visitation to supervised visitation. When the ex fullfilled all of the required classes and therapy, visitation was reinstitued.
NC