by Pams girl 38 Replies latest jw friends
welcome, you can be sad for what you lost..... or be happy for what you didnt.
You are not a JW and that is sooooooo good for you and your family. Dont worry they cant shunn you, because you never got baptized, at least not by the official rules, and you can call them on that. "Hey why arent you talkning to me?" lets see what biblical reason they use.. it will be pathetic.
Lots of good advice already. Keep the dirt you have on those people to yourself. You would be perceived as a troublemaker if you revealed it because that is what you would in fact be, and to what end? You would be disbelieved by most of the people whose eyes you want to open and you would be perceived and spoken about behind your back as a liar. No, take the high road, girl, and recognise that you have some work to do emptying all that stuff you've allowed to fill the gaps in your intellect over the past six years. Don't underestimate how difficult residual Watchtower programming is to exorcise. It all sounded like sweet, joyous truth to you at one time, after all.
It is a very good thing your husband is not in. Your escape will be far less painful than it is for many. But by all means trash all the WTBTS literature you have in your house, sever ties and run, do not walk, away from the Watchtower.
Hello and welcome,
You were a perfect candidate to get sucked into wts cult, I think most of us who got sucked in where either young and naive or were going through hard times in our lives when witnesses got us to study. Luckily for you, you were never baptized which means they won't really shun you in the true meaning of jw shunning. You were never a witness but always a study and you got to know people at the kh but they were never your friends and neither were you to them as you were always looked on as an associate. Until you get baptize they won't view you as a "true friend." So when they slowly abandon you, they will claim that it's all your doing and not theirs. Until you get baptized you will be part of the world.
There are a lot of problems within jws but most are hidden and when these problems come to light by means of an outsider, the elders may defend their own as if you're making stuff up. Going to meeting for 7 years, you surely heard that jws are to defend one another when others speak badly of them - you are the outsider and shouldn't expect witnesses to take your word over their especially when the witness denies your accusation.
Look for friends outside of the kh. Join a club, do some activities where you mean people, be close to your husband as he has nothing to do with jws - a good thing. Research watchtower history and examine their ever changing doctrines. jwfacts.com is a good site to start your research as you don't want to have a guilty feeling that you are committing spiritual suicide and you won't make it through Armageddon. JWs put a lot of fear and guilt into their studies who carry this with them after getting baptized and even when some get disfellowshipped that is why it's so important to learn the truth about the watchtower so you can eliminate the fear and guilt instilled by jws.
Welcome dear lady- all will be right as rain for you in a short while. Just stick around here and keep reading the topics- it will all come together for you soon enough. Have a good weekend.
shalom
Hi Pams Girl,
Welcome to a good place. Hang on in here and put as much distance as you can between yourself and the barmy army aka Jehovah's Witnesses. It takes awhile throwing off the JW baggage but as the weeks go by you will unlearn all the nonsense that has come your way via the Watchtower and as you do you will feel your load getting lighter and your mind clearer. There are tremendous people here ready to answer whatever question you may have regarding Watchtower nonsense.
Edmond.
Hi again, Pams girl, . . . I was your first poster last night (for me). I'm from CHCH New Zealand . . . "shakeytown" right now.
It was late at night when i first replied . . . but do you recall the very first line I wrote? . . .
Hi Pams girl, Your at a good place . . . lot's on here will have "been there" . . .you'll see.
I've only been using this site for a short time myself . . . a few months . . . but such was my confidence in the folks here from my own experience . . . they are by and large a great bunch of lovely caring people as your already finding.
Shared experience is what brings us together and the poster who suggested your "getting off lightly" was spot on. Many here have given decades to that Organisation . . . thier best years . . . Many here still endure the heartbreak of severed family relationships even after many decades . . . children who no longer speak to them etc. Some are even living a sham life as "JW's" for the sole purpose of remaining in contact with thier loved ones.
I'm not saying this to minimise your situation . . . nobody really gets off lightly with that lot . . . I'm saying it to let you know what a heartless, loveless DANGEROUS CULT this Organisation most certainly is.
I personally served as a witness in a variety of capacaties for 23 years. My witness years came to an end when I suffered a reasonably severe mental breakdown. I "fled" my house and never stopped driving (except for gas) for 4 days . . . eventually got pulled from a ravine more dead than alive . . . It was far and away the most frightening experience of my life (and I've just been through 2 major earthquakes in the last 6 months) . . . and it's taken 6 more years to recover to the point I am now . . . med-free and back in control of my life. The price has been high . . . the first 3 months were just one big full-on panic attack 24/7 . . . nothing seemed to work and I was in and out of Hospital in abject fear of some unseen enemy that did not even exist. I became a total stranger to my three teenage sons for most of those years and missed a huge part of thier life . . . but we're getting on top of that now.
When I read of your mental health struggles I felt real fear for you. You must give your absolute attention to protecting yourself here . . . talk to Hubby and get the help you need . . . your a health professional yourself and I'm sure you will . . . WT World is way out of touch in this area . . . I 've lost 12 friends to suicide over the years . . . and stood near that "door" myself.
Something which may cause you anxiety is the impending "spiritual void" which can envelop you . . . that "What is the truth? . . . What do I believe now? . . . What about Armageddon? . . . What about the Bible?" feeling . . . after all, like the rest of us, you've given yourself the opportunity to hope for a better future . . . and that might all seem dashed now.
Please be assured . . . the WT do not have a monopoly on Bible "truth" . . . far from it . . . WT interpretation in key areas is mostly clever mind-control bullshit . . . designed to induce fear, guilt and unquestioning obedience for thier own purposes. It took a while, but i now feel I enjoy a closer personal relationship with Christ that at any other time in my life . . . and I am not affiliated with any religious group.
WT indoctrination leaves us feeling that all "truth" is knowable and must be "known" for salvation . . . not so. That void is fillable if your faith is something you wish to maintain in the future . . . and the Bible still has great advice on how we might walk life's journey. It's healthy to "allow place for the unknown" and remain free-minded.
Not all here share this view . . . some are very skeptical . . . others openly confess atheism . . . but that's OK . . . we all respect each others right to determine what we believe for ourselves and are happy to exchange thoughts and ideas.
I noted you felt "unworthy" to be in God's house with your "faults" intact. I would suggest the opposite to be true . . . it ain't "God's house" for a start . . . more like a den of iniquity full of deception, hypocrisy, heartlessness, guilt and fear. THEY don't deserve the benefit of YOUR presence . . . from your expressions it is clear to see you are a good person . . . you ARE a good person.
Stick with us for a good while and you will even find there are some close by with whom you will have the opportunity to meet . . . this could be really helpful if you so choose.
I have some good material on Mental health issues among JW's and will PM my email address some time soon if your interested. . . plenty of time
Good luck
Palua
You sound like a lovely person who got caught up with this religion when you were down.
I have only had time to read your posts not everyone else's responses to you. But I know many that did answer you are very kind people who will give you very good advice.
Just reading your posts you sound so much like I did when I first found out that this was not the "truth" only I was raised in it. I was so depressed when I joined that I wanted to take my life.
Just hang on and take the advise of the ones who responded to you, people on this board really do care and love you.
Glad you found this sight.
LITS
If you havn't dicovered it yet click on http://www.freeminds.org/ they have a link to this site as well. freeminds has great articals and all the inside stuff on the history of the WTBTS. A lot of things that are referenced on this site. Plus plenty of 'getting out' stories.
hi paula
i was "low hanging fruit" having lost a brother and a son
in one calendar year, so i was easily recruited by their
teachings of paradise earth, resurrection and eternity....
i had 2 preschool kids at the time and 2 born-ins...
everyone is out, i have made amends the best i
can, saying what i felt to be true at the time:
i just wanted you to be safe forever....
glad you are able to see "the truth" for what it ISN'T!
cheers
amy~
"Low hanging fruit" . . . love that metaphor Chickpea . . . says it all!
