Did This Religion "Screw" You Up & If So--- HOW? (page 2)

scary21

Never being baptised....you'd think, not so bad, she got off easy. born ins have there own problems..Guilt about doing harmless child things, beleiveing your going to die at A...All my friends at school are going to die soon..I could never live up to thier rules. ( I was not that bad then )But I thought since I'm going to die in a few yrs I'll cram all I can in the few short yrs till 75 ..Never thought of a future...never thought of going to school .what was a use of anything......never was negitive about it. Just lived my life like today may be the last day of my life.Doing good things and doing bad things ( bad according to WT ) Had a hell of a lot of big fun.. But the WT hung over my head for a long time..If I was not born a JW my life would have been totally different. LIVING IN FEAR is no way to grow up! I wonder how many children are living in fear right now? Sherry

unshackled

Gotta agree with the sentiment here, especially finallyfree and gutted. Low self-esteem, feeling like an outcast, social anxiety, feelings of depression of having lost family and friends. Feel like I have a negative world view and it is so deeply rooted that even though I am fully aware of it, don't know where to start getting rid of it.

There are days where I wonder if its just me, my genetic makeup. But realize genetics might play a part but being raised a JW really molded me to develop these deeply rooted negative traits.

But I still feel better off - free and thankful for it every day. I look at my JW parents in their early 60s and they are absolutely miserable people with severe persecution complexes. By the time I'm 60 I'll be much better off.

troubled mind

There are many reasons why I personally felt 'screwed up' .The JW religion was one of the biggest contributors of my troubled mind .

Mainly the impact it had on me as a child was the insistance I be 'different' ,and separate from others my own age . I never felt like I belonged ....any where ...at school I had to sit out in the hall during social parties ,go home early when there was pep rallies or other events that made the other kids feel part of the school spirit . Because my Father was retired military ,and not a witness ,I really didn't feel totally accepted in the hall either . Never as a child were we invited to another Witnesses house as a family . My Mother instilled into me a pure fantasy of how perfect other Witness kids lives where because both their parents glorified God .

These feelings of being isolated were coupled with Armageddon fears ,and other events in my young life that ended up causing a low level anxiety and depression that plagued me for years . The constant voice in my head as a kid was "your not good enough " ,"your bad and you do bad things ", "God could never be happy with you " .

One year in High School we had to keep a daily journal that the Teacher read . She was looking for us to write down our inner thoughts ......During this time I was going through typical boy issues at school and was being hounded by the Elders for conduct unbecoming of a Christian . When she read what I was going through and what I really thought of myself She became quite alarmed . She confronted me one day and asked if I was at risk for hurting myself ......I learned that day not to be so honest in my journal . Learning to bottle up my feelings and to keep things inside had become very easy to me by now .

Even when I was very small my Mom taught us not to voice any of our problems in front of our Dad . If we had a bad day at school because someone made fun of us for not celebrating a holiday we just had to learn to suck it up because it was more important to please Jehovah than ourselves . I recall sitting in the hall at school fighting back tears and feeling like an outcast ,but mentally telling myself ,'This is making Jehovah happy ,this is making Jehovah happy......"

There is so much I could say on this topic ........because so much of my life was wasted feeling I was screwed up ,then I found out no it really isn't me it is what I was taught to be that was screwed up . The last few years my mind has become Untroubled finally . I really just enjoy being me . Those negative thoughts quit soon after I quit attending the brain washing sessions at the Kingdom Hall .

When the Elders came by last spring the first thing they did was try to instill fear about the horrible conditions of the world . I cut that talk off right away . Then they said they missed us .....and I immediately asked 'why did it take you four yrs to say so' ? ( I don't bottle my thoughts up anymore ) In the end the Elder did not really care that I was now happy and undepressed . In fact in the end of their visit the truth came out that the only reason they had come by was to find out if we were now celebrating holidays . That caused me to assert my new found freedom of telling them my life Is no longer any of your business and I will not answer personal questions .

So did the religion screw me up ....well hell yeah for too many years I think it did .

But the better question is :Can you personally take power and unscrew your life ? Hell yes !

You don't have to let one more day go by allowing what has been to be ,what will be .

That is what is so great about this forum ,we hear from people in all stages and we can believe it is possible to regain our lives . I know it has encouraged me reading experiences here to never give up or give in .

tiki

OUTLAW, that is one of your finest! Congrats!!

Does it screw you up? Good lord...where to begin. It creates mental illness...total loss of sense of self-worth, makes people moronic....can't be educated....if it's fun or light-hearted you can't have any part of it. You have to dress to look like a frump....the Puritannical rigid system stifles creativity, enjoyment of life.... and you can be beaten up if you're a kid....oh, and if you happen to be female you are an inferior being. Paranoia....there's a earthquake -oooooo it is armageddon at last!

I personally believe any organized religion is a dangerous thing. All it does it pit one person against another. Someone always gets the idea he alone is right and the rest are all wet, hence inferior. If people can come together and have a meeting of the minds - even disagree, but thoughtfully and respectfully...that shows some intelligence. I am rambling now....toward the end of my extremely long timeframe fade away, those meetings were just so so so pathetically infantile........bad grammar from the platform...all the material could be easily understood by any 8 year old....repetitive, depressing....everything negative. oh well...it's been years now.....i knew the "truth" and it set me free...................

minimus

OTWO, I TRULY appreciate the transformation I've seen in you. You have grown as a man and much of that bitterness seems gone. I'm glad you regularly post. Your contributions are more valuable than you know!!!

unshackled

While we're on the subject, maybe those who have found successful ways to repair the damage from JW life can pass it on? What steps did you find helped to deal with the negative consequences? Book suggestions, etc?

wasblind

Hey Outlaw,

that's the best one yet, that post is definitely top ten material

that pic should be put up in all of the laundromat windows

it may not mean a thing to worldly people, but it would hit a JW

right in the face and give 'em somethin' to think about and we

do know they frequent laundromats

LostGeneration

Yeah it "screwed" me up but after a while you finally start to look at the flip side.

I don't think anyone loves Saturday mornings more than ex-Jws. By that I mean whether you go for a jog or bike ride, or sit and sip coffee while you surf the internet, or just sleep in an extra hour, you know you are free. When I was active and did these things, I felt guilty that I wasnt out in service, even to the point where that stupid "bloodguilty" garbage messed with my head. Now, its just a great feeling of freedom, no matter what I decide to do.

I don't think anyone loves their free Tuesday/Thursday night more than ex-JWs. Just knowing you are free from the most mind-numbing meetings makes those nights so much better than if I had never been a witness.

Its like that for everything that JWism prohibited, that you can now enjoy without big brother looking over your shoulder.

minimus

Now, many of us are wilder and more carefree!

OUTLAW

WasBlind..

When I was up North..There was this rinky-dink little laundry mat in the middle of nowhere..

JW`s would come in and stuff WBT$ magazines in between the other magazines..

No one would notice until you started sorting through the magazines..

So..I would Write stuff on the WBT$ magazines and put them back..LOL!!..

Soon there was this pile of WBT$ literature with all the stuff I wrote..

Plus all the new stuff they would drop off..

So I just started throwing it in the garbage can whenever I would go do laundry..

LOL!!..

............................ ...OUTLAW

Did This Religion "Screw" You Up & If So--- HOW?

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