Man! There's a lot of this shit that I can relate to.
- Badly damaged self-esteem: Being around the uber-spiritual and reading WT articles about their ilk was a constant guilt trip. Unless you're a Pioneer, MS, Elder or at least married, you're nothing to the congregation. This and so much more left me with severe depression.
- Being an outcast\pariah: As the years passed since my baptism, the more people started ignoring and snubbing me because I wasn't part of the "in crowd". I admit that I made mistakes and I occasionally pissed people off (ADHD much), but JWs are not a very forgiving bunch, are they? It's hard to to avoid offending and stumbling brother/sister sensitive. I never was formally accused of ANYTHING. Rumours and whispers was all the grounds they needed...
- Being sexually repressed: I hardly ever felt worthy of the opposite sex all the time I was in. I'm in my late thirties and still trying to repair the damage.
- Being socially awkward: I didn't fit in because I wasn't part of a prominent family, my Dad wasn't a believer and I didn't get baptized or get married while still young. I grew up having friends neither inside nor outside the religion.
JWs are a sick, messed up bunch and it's freaking contagious!
V665