Did This Religion "Screw" You Up & If So--- HOW?

finallyfree!

screwed up is a polite way to put it. got hitched waaaaay to young to a broad who was not for me, we all know why!! lol!

after a nasty divorce (kids involved) i decided to fade outta the bs cult. was not easy, went and still going through a major depression because my family for the most part has nothing to do with me cuz i am very vocal about what i do and do not believe. ive been dubbed a "nit picker" and a "fault finder". the apostate word has been flung at me too which doesnt help. my kids are being indoctrinated and every once in a while my kids will ask if i will be in the paradise? because jah doesnt let people who divorce and dont go to the meeting in, wtf! been busting my chops working like a crazy mofo to support my kids and pay alimony, in the meantime shes moved in with her family and is using my child support to pay off her shopping debts of like 15 grand and is not even working and its been 3 years weve been through. im tired and burnt out.

ive since spiralled outta control (drugs, alcohol) but i still have a bit of my sanity left. its the only thing that keeps me more or less sane...knowing that one day things will look up.

its not easy being rejected by ones family and losing the only friends we have. ontop of living like a friggin hobo just so i can support a lazy ass dub biatch who doesnt work cuz shes too effed up in the head. grrr!! i feel like breaking something!!

gutted

I can't blame the religion for all of the things I will list below, some just happened due to my place in society and genetics or whatever... but the religion did contribute to:

-Low self-esteem: Do any JWs have healthy self-esteem? If they do it's IN SPITE of the system.

-Feeling like an outcast: Siting outside of class during any fun holiday activity, constantly feeling pressure not to get TOO friendly with kids. Carried same mentality to the workplace.

-Sexually repressed: Never felt worthy of a girl till I was an MS or did this or that, hence now a late 20s virgin.

-Social anxiety: Everyone is evil.

That's the main ones I can think of now. On the positive side, it's been almost a year since I stopped attending meetings and I am slowly starting to get more confident and self-assured. The process takes time.

looloo

oh yes ! not now though because im free !

minimus

I think anyone brought up in a cult is even a little bit "screwed up" by the past. It goes with the territory.

james_woods

It caused me to come here, where I actually read a Larsinger68 incoherent numerical prophecy thread.

OnTheWayOut

Hey, all you have to do is read my posts. I was bitter for a long time and most of that is gone, but sometimes I read posts that get to me about "This Religion" and I say some pretty strong stuff that shows it still has me screwed up. I will probably be sorry I typed that, but I will let it stand.

"This Religion" still has loved ones captive, so I just cannot walk away from JWN and all things ex-JW. One day, I hope to report back here every 6 months or so just to say "Hello, life is wonderful since I put every last freakin' JW thought behind me." Not today.

darth frosty

I Strongly believe that being a dub Emasculates you as a man. Think of the practices you are expected to adapt into your life...Take the lesser position, be submissive to others, do not put your interest 1st. These are all characteristics that in essence neuter a man.

All the drive and passion a male should have and posses are drowned out thanks to WT teachings. Of course we all know about the whole sex thing. Not to sound to caveman-ish but I believe an important part of the transition to man-hood is to be able to woo women with your charm ;-)

Lastly what you focus your desires on and strive for, is what you can accomplish. First chance they get the WT$ focuses your desires on their 'will of jehovah' bullshit. Put kingdom interest 1st, dont think about higher education, focus on a career in kingdom service. All that conditioning serves to waste valuable energy and syphon off your best years in pursuit of a publishing companies BS.

This is a decent example of what I'm talking about (mainly the 1st part.)

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2011/02/17/the-creativity-stagnation/

OUTLAW

Your just unHappy because you don`t do Enough for Jehovah..

Look at me..I`m Fine..

We got "New Light" from the Watchtower today..

So I`m Adjusting my Thinking..

............................ ...OUTLAW

C6H12O6

Yes, this religion...

gave me heavy depression.
flushed my self-esteem down the toilet because I never measured up to the super spiritual brothers and sisters.
told me that I was never good enough. I was nitpicked a lot from writing too small on my WT to wearing black in the summer.
guilt tripped me for not doing more field service.
made me socially awkward. I didn't fit in with any cliques because I wasn't a pioneer, come from a prominent family, or born in. Since I couldn't have friends outside of this religion, most of my time was spent alone.
repressed my thinking skills. Asking questions was suddenly a sign of a lack of faith. Reading old literature and stuff written outside the WT organization was very discouraged.
made me afraid of storms because it could be the Big A
diminish my individuality, I couldn't say, wear, watch, read or anything I want. I had to avoid offending and stumbling brother/sister sensitive.

tl;dr : I was very depressed as a JW. When I was A JW, a lady from my old work place once told me that I looked very sad and wondered why I never smiled. Ever since I stopped going to everything and cutted ties, I started to recover.

Did This Religion "Screw" You Up & If So--- HOW?

Share this